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Original poster

To be irritated by colleague constantly complimenting herself?

187 replies

foreverstardust · 02/07/2024 20:31

I’ve just never known anything like it. Just today

“I’ve curled my hair, I think my hair looks so gorgeous when it’s curled”

“My exam is next week, I’m so academic and really good at exams”

“How did you think that call went?
…Good…

“Yeah I’m actually so good at making calls”

Aibu to just find it irritating, or should I find it more refreshing?

OP posts:
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6
PoppyCherryDog · 02/07/2024 21:45

I have a colleague like this.

The team were talking about key person risk and she came up in every scenario.

A piece of work she was barely involved in suddenly she was project managing the whole thing and everyone was coming to her for questions even really senior people…

Told me she was basically doing the job of someone a grade above her. (Went for a job the grade above and didn’t get it… hmmmmm).

To some extent I admire her confidence as I lack it so so so much. But think there is probably a middle ground.

XChrome · 02/07/2024 21:43

Itstherichthatgetthepleasureasusual · 02/07/2024 20:55

Why does the alternative to blowing your own trumpet have to be self depreciation, faux or otherwise?
It is possible to be quietly confident without going to one extreme or the other.

Exactly. It's a false dichotomy to say there is only one option other than low self esteem.

XChrome · 02/07/2024 21:41

foreverstardust · 02/07/2024 20:40

Oh yeah she actually failed her last exam, and oh the excuses. When really it came down to the fact she never even opened her text book.

Show quote history

Yep. She's a narcissist.

XChrome · 02/07/2024 21:39

TheaBrandt · 02/07/2024 20:36

Quite refreshing after the tedium of women constantly putting themselves down. Dh had an acquaintance like this. If she didn’t get a job she would say the interviewers were just jealous of her. I was quite impressed at the mad self confidence!

That's egotism, not self confidence. The solution to low self esteem is not overestimating your worth, it's healthy, reasonable, self worth.

2Old2Tango · 02/07/2024 21:37

"Do you play any other instruments, or are you only able to blow your own trumpet?"

XChrome · 02/07/2024 21:37

YANBU. She's a narcisstic pain in the ass.

WimpoleHat · 02/07/2024 21:33

Is she British? It’s just so “unBritish” to do that sort of thing, but - at least in my experience- other nationalities find it much easier to be self positive. Does sound really irritating, though (but then I am terribly British!).

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 02/07/2024 21:23

Is her name Donald Trump?
"I just made the best phone call that anyone's ever made. And I have the curliest hair. Really, I do."

wizzywig · 02/07/2024 21:16

But I did look great!

Fannyfiggs · 02/07/2024 21:14

bridgetreilly · 02/07/2024 21:02

Just pretend she’s a mediocre white man and it will seem completely normal.

You couldn't be more accurate. No one would bat an eye if a MWM said this 😂

Itstherichthatgetthepleasureasusual · 02/07/2024 21:08

I'm trying to work out whether pp are being tongue in cheek here. I'm not good at detecting sarcasm. I can't really believe that so many pp think it is a good thing to constantly praise yourself.
It's putting me in mind of the other current thread where posters are coming on to say how good looking they think themselves.
Since when did it become the norm to become raging ego maniacs?
And the alternative is not self depreciation. The alternative is quiet confidence about the things you can do well and realism about the things you aren't so good at.
I can't think how any one would want to work with someone who is blowing their own trumpet all the time and if the pp who apparently think this is acceptable behaviour do it themselves then I feel sorry for their colleagues too.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/07/2024 21:07

bridgetreilly · 02/07/2024 21:02

Just pretend she’s a mediocre white man and it will seem completely normal.

LOL.

True though.

Tagyoureit · 02/07/2024 21:07

But this sounds ridiculous, this isn't confidence, it sounds childish!

"I'm so good at making calls" what a twat!

Pipsqueaker · 02/07/2024 21:06

BobbyBiscuits · 02/07/2024 20:39

Just say 'how fascinating for you.' and change the subject. She sounds flipping awful.

😂😂😂
Peak Mumsnet passive-aggression!

Bridgertonned · 02/07/2024 21:03

I would have said it's refreshing to hear someone being that self confident, if it hadnt been that I'd had a MANAGER like this. It was the frequency that was bonkers, they'd shoehorn a self complement into every conversation. I think my favourite was when I asked them how long I should allow for travel to another one of our offices which I'd heard was difficult for parking. They suggested where I could park and said it was 5-10 mins walk away 'although it only takes me 3 mins I'm just really good at walking'.

bridgetreilly · 02/07/2024 21:02

Just pretend she’s a mediocre white man and it will seem completely normal.

BigMandyHarris · 02/07/2024 20:57

I would much prefer that than constant moaning about how rubbish and hard done by they are

Itstherichthatgetthepleasureasusual · 02/07/2024 20:55

Why does the alternative to blowing your own trumpet have to be self depreciation, faux or otherwise?
It is possible to be quietly confident without going to one extreme or the other.

Crysti · 02/07/2024 20:55

Yes we definitely should!
far better than hating on ourselves and putting ourselves down

OP it’s my dream in life to be that positive / delusional about myself!

Liripipe · 02/07/2024 20:54

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/07/2024 20:36

And I can't stand faux modesty, particularly from women. We should big ourselves up. I'd give it a try, OP. What are you brilliant at?

Hear hear.

Though on top of 'nice girls don't boast', Brits have a particular ingrained dislike of the tall poppy.

I remember when I first lived in rural England (not originally from the UK), being fascinated by the ritual conversation at the baby/toddler group I attended, which involved faux-self-deprecation and a pause for someone else to contradict it, followed by more faux-self-deprecation etc eg

'No, I won't have a biscuit -- I'm such a heifer!'
'You're not, you're TINY! Isn't she tiny?'
'Your top is lovely!'
'This old thing! Primark, about five years ago! And the buttons barely close, I'm like a WHALE!'
'You are not, if you turned sideways, you'd disappear!' etc etc

I think I'd have been charmed if someone came in and said 'I'm brilliant at exams, and I also have great hair.' But that person would have been shunned. Grin

JamSandle · 02/07/2024 20:49

I actually don't mind it given how horrible most women feel about themselves.

HarrytheHobbit · 02/07/2024 20:48

Nowt like blowing your own trumpet 😁

Itstherichthatgetthepleasureasusual · 02/07/2024 20:47

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/07/2024 20:36

And I can't stand faux modesty, particularly from women. We should big ourselves up. I'd give it a try, OP. What are you brilliant at?

In my experience it's the least capable and most ignorant people who sing their own praises - in the hope probably they think they can fool people into actually thinking they aren't useless.

EllenLRipley · 02/07/2024 20:44

"Good for you" with a big smile, she'll cotton on eventually 😂

stayathomer · 02/07/2024 20:42

Is she waiting for someone to congratulate her/ compliment her? I actually like the idea of it- I’m firmly in the ‘not tell anyone unless they pry it out of me, then act like it’s not a big deal’ camp, and I love that some people are able to congratulate themselves!!