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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be irritated by colleague constantly complimenting herself?

187 replies

foreverstardust · 02/07/2024 20:31

I’ve just never known anything like it. Just today

“I’ve curled my hair, I think my hair looks so gorgeous when it’s curled”

“My exam is next week, I’m so academic and really good at exams”

“How did you think that call went?
…Good…

“Yeah I’m actually so good at making calls”

Aibu to just find it irritating, or should I find it more refreshing?

OP posts:
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foreverstardust · 02/07/2024 22:35

Screamingabdabz · 02/07/2024 20:39

You can be realistic and pragmatic about your own strengths without being a raging self-regarding narcisstic who pisses everyone off around you!!

Yanbu op.

Exactly. One day she told me in great detail why she thinks her face is perfect and why she’d never get work done.

(Get cosmetic work or don’t I couldn’t care less by the way)

OP posts:
Beautifulbonbon · 02/07/2024 22:30

She sounds like an insufferable twat.

Id just ignore it completely and give her no fuel

Jutemat · 02/07/2024 22:29

LOL did anyone else read that OP and think of the "Let me take a selfie" song?!

LostAllMySocks · 02/07/2024 22:27

She sounds ND to me. She probably has a really really hard time keeping friends and is trying to keep herself afloat.

minthybobs · 02/07/2024 22:27

XChrome · 02/07/2024 21:39

That's egotism, not self confidence. The solution to low self esteem is not overestimating your worth, it's healthy, reasonable, self worth.

Agree. Constantly being self deprecating and constantly bigging yourself up are both indicators of low self esteem. Arrogant people aren’t confident, quite the opposite!

WigglyVonWaggly · 02/07/2024 22:26

Confidence and self-belief is knowing that you are attractive / good at things. You can have that knowledge fairly quietly. Arrogance is continually boasting about it to others. Saying your own hair is gorgeous is arrogant, probably because it’s a presumption that everyone agrees.

I feel the same about men. When attractive men swan about cockily saying similar things about themselves, I find it off putting. A man who has a great body and quietly slips on a T-shirt is way more attractive to me than a man who says things like, “I’ve got a really impressive muscular body, haven’t I?”

Runsyd · 02/07/2024 22:23

OP, just reply 'You think?' with a quizzical expression every time she does it.

Runsyd · 02/07/2024 22:22

ExtraOnions · 02/07/2024 20:40

Good for her .. we should all be our own cheerleaders

Not if you actually want people to like you.

Bear0511 · 02/07/2024 22:21

cactuswoman · 02/07/2024 22:02

"I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD ANY PROPER DANCE LESSONS"

Dammit, I came on to say the same thing and you beat me to it 😂

XChrome · 02/07/2024 22:21

MrsClatterbuck · 02/07/2024 21:56

A favourite saying of my ds was "do you want a medal"

😄 I have been known to say; "Do you want a parade?"

WirelessWendy · 02/07/2024 22:19

Maybe it wouldn't sound so odd if more people had that confidence.

I think @MrsTerryPratchett has the right idea.

Wishihadanalgorithm · 02/07/2024 22:18

I’d put a sign up that says, “Empty vessels make the most noise.”

Make sure the sign is in a prominent place too.

When colleague goes in for self praise I think I’d smile politely then ignore.

She sounds insecure but quite irritating.

Snippit · 02/07/2024 22:18

I have a mother like this, very bloody irritating! She thinks men fancy her, they don’t, and that their wives are jealous. She’s 78, not glamorous one jot and is delusional. My dad used to refer to her as a drama queen, since he’s passed we see it all now, she’s driving us bats, 😵‍💫

TeaGinandFags · 02/07/2024 22:14

Gently goad her into making increasingly batshit claims.

You go to Tenerife, she can go to Elevenerife.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 02/07/2024 22:14

She's reassuring herself, I suggest.

Forhecksake · 02/07/2024 22:10

Oh my goodness, I work with someone like this. She is so special and important.

Janehasamane · 02/07/2024 22:07

Don’t put her down, just admire her self confidence. I’d be mildly amused, and look at it benignly.

ChickenAlaPox · 02/07/2024 22:05

No I would much rather someone talks like this then the constant self negging which then puts me in the position of feeling obliged to console them or big them up, ugh. It also reminds me to appreciate myself more and talk better to myself when I hear someone doing it, negativity brings a downer.

JMSA · 02/07/2024 22:05

Och, good on her.

Maybe she's got no one else in her life to do it for her.

Swollenandgrouchy · 02/07/2024 22:05

I wonder if she is neurodivergent and doesn’t understand how these things sound.

cactuswoman · 02/07/2024 22:02

"I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD ANY PROPER DANCE LESSONS"

BubblePerm · 02/07/2024 22:00

I'd just laugh.

Kisskiss · 02/07/2024 21:58

I have a dear friend exactly like this. She’s wonderful I’m so many other ways but honestly I do internal eye rolls whenever she throws herself yet another compliment 🤣

MrsClatterbuck · 02/07/2024 21:56

A favourite saying of my ds was "do you want a medal"

Freetofeelgood · 02/07/2024 21:46

Is she positive about other people too? Did she volunteer the info that she failed her exam, or would you have found out anyway?