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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be irritated by colleague constantly complimenting herself?

187 replies

foreverstardust · 02/07/2024 20:31

I’ve just never known anything like it. Just today

“I’ve curled my hair, I think my hair looks so gorgeous when it’s curled”

“My exam is next week, I’m so academic and really good at exams”

“How did you think that call went?
…Good…

“Yeah I’m actually so good at making calls”

Aibu to just find it irritating, or should I find it more refreshing?

OP posts:
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Noseybookworm · 02/07/2024 23:27

I'd be tempted to say 'Not that you're blowing your own trumpet or anything!' and laugh 😂

Daisybuttercup12345 · 02/07/2024 23:27

My mother had a couple of comebacks.

  1. Self praise is no recommendation.
  2. Empty vessels make the most noise.
People blowing their own trumpet was showing off or big headed.
NotSoHotMess24 · 02/07/2024 23:26

I know literally so many blokes like this (albeit slightly more subtle), generally people seem not to mind.

Even if she is wrong and terrible at exams or whatever, I'd probably find it interesting or possibly funny rather than aggrevating. Something to break up the tedium in an office.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 02/07/2024 23:25

She sounds exhausting to be around, but I suspect it's not for anyone but herself - you just happen to be her audience.
"Tell yourself in the mirror how wonderful you are" type thing , fake it to make it.

FFSWherearemyglasses · 02/07/2024 23:25

Is she mates with “Statesmom” with her darling boy at an Ivy 🥴 The most odious mn’er I’ve ever read

Daisybuttercup12345 · 02/07/2024 23:24

bridgetreilly · 02/07/2024 21:02

Just pretend she’s a mediocre white man and it will seem completely normal.

Why a white man?

Thedayb4youcame · 02/07/2024 23:24

Tagyoureit · 02/07/2024 23:20

Then be kinder to yourself, look in the mirror every morning and declare what a fucking warrior queen you are and blow yourself a kiss but you don't sit in an office full of adults and declare "I'm so good at making phone calls"! That sounds like something my dd4 would say!

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Amen to this. There's only one thing worse than someone complimenting themselves in this way (not that I can think of an occasion where I heard anyone doing so), and that's the OTT "bashful" eyelash-fluttering "Oh stop it (flutter flutter) no I'm not (flutter)" response to a compliment from another person.

Thepossibility · 02/07/2024 23:24

I had a couple of these at my old job. It is so weird because I would find myself bigging them up as well! Like it would not be polite to join in? 🤣
We would talk endlessly about them and their tattoos, dog, skills, never anything about me. Never a nice word to say about anyone else besides themselves.
Eventually it was quite toxic for the environment because they would be telling the clients that they were the best, most talented people there (no exaggeration). So the clients would be uneasy working with anyone else because we weren't the top staff, because we didn't carry on telling them we were! Most of us were more qualified and capable than them!

Avatartar · 02/07/2024 23:21

Every time she says it, reply ”I’m so pleased for you”

Tagyoureit · 02/07/2024 23:20

morningvole · 02/07/2024 23:16

Good for her. Wish I was kinder to myself.

Then be kinder to yourself, look in the mirror every morning and declare what a fucking warrior queen you are and blow yourself a kiss but you don't sit in an office full of adults and declare "I'm so good at making phone calls"! That sounds like something my dd4 would say!

badger2005 · 02/07/2024 23:18

foreverstardust · 02/07/2024 23:11

Huh? Who’s getting ready together?

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Sorry yes I was letting my imagination run away with itself! I was imagining colleagues getting ready e.g. for a work bash and so talking about their appearance (as described in the OP). I'm just interested in exploring the idea that complimenting yourself is fine if you are complimenting others too, and only becomes a problem if you are complimenting yourself while criticizing others.

morningvole · 02/07/2024 23:16

Good for her. Wish I was kinder to myself.

ilovesushi · 02/07/2024 23:15

Or not after seeing your updates!!!

ilovesushi · 02/07/2024 23:13

She sounds hilarious. I wouldn't mind her being in my office.

Original poster
foreverstardust · 02/07/2024 23:11

badger2005 · 02/07/2024 23:08

What if when you were all getting ready, she complimented you all collectively? I think that would be nice and would be kind of charmed if she included herself in that (rather than waiting for someone else to step in and compliment her).

Huh? Who’s getting ready together?

OP posts:
badger2005 · 02/07/2024 23:08

What if when you were all getting ready, she complimented you all collectively? I think that would be nice and would be kind of charmed if she included herself in that (rather than waiting for someone else to step in and compliment her).

GingerPirate · 02/07/2024 23:05

Panpastels · 02/07/2024 20:37

Confidence is fine but this sounds like arrogance. I would just ignore her tbh.

Arrogance or total snowflakiness together with inflated ego and a tad of stupidity.

Floogal · 02/07/2024 23:01

She sounds like Peggy Hill and that would annoy me too. Though, bragging isn't as bad as humble bragging or virtue signalling to be fair.

badger2005 · 02/07/2024 22:58

foreverstardust · 02/07/2024 22:44

Oh she tells me my faults to my face.

Shes repeatedly told me how choppy my hair looks, when she’s well aware I don’t like my hair at the moment.

She also saw an old photo of me and said “you look so different … you’ve got a chin”

Now I don’t think she’s jealous of me at all. But I still don’t get the need for the put downs.

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I'd guess that this (criticizing others) is the real issue. I've made a habit of only saying positive things about my appearance in front of my dd (negative comments are limited to things like 'I don't think these are the right shoes for this skirt - I'm going to try my boots' etc). She hears so many women and girls around her putting themselves down that I am trying to model some self-love! But on the other hand I also throw around lots of compliments and positive comments about all other people too! as I think I read here on mumsnet (as said by a teenage boy if I remember right) we will have no body shaming in this house!

Thedayb4youcame · 02/07/2024 22:50

foreverstardust · 02/07/2024 22:44

Oh she tells me my faults to my face.

Shes repeatedly told me how choppy my hair looks, when she’s well aware I don’t like my hair at the moment.

She also saw an old photo of me and said “you look so different … you’ve got a chin”

Now I don’t think she’s jealous of me at all. But I still don’t get the need for the put downs.

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My late mother had a term for people like this. She'd say they had a screw loose.

Thedayb4youcame · 02/07/2024 22:49

TheaBrandt · 02/07/2024 20:36

Quite refreshing after the tedium of women constantly putting themselves down. Dh had an acquaintance like this. If she didn’t get a job she would say the interviewers were just jealous of her. I was quite impressed at the mad self confidence!

That doesn't sound like confidence to me...if anything it sounds like someone is deluded and / or totally lacks confidence. But I may be biased, as I knew someone for whom everything in life came down to matter of others being jealous.

That person was most definitely in the deluded category.

Original poster
foreverstardust · 02/07/2024 22:44

TheDogdidGood · 02/07/2024 22:37

I worked with someone like that. She eventually revealed herself to be a complete narcissist who built herself up by saying how good she was whilst finding fault with everyone else. Watch your back!

Oh she tells me my faults to my face.

Shes repeatedly told me how choppy my hair looks, when she’s well aware I don’t like my hair at the moment.

She also saw an old photo of me and said “you look so different … you’ve got a chin”

Now I don’t think she’s jealous of me at all. But I still don’t get the need for the put downs.

OP posts:
Tagyoureit · 02/07/2024 22:38

foreverstardust · 02/07/2024 22:35

Exactly. One day she told me in great detail why she thinks her face is perfect and why she’d never get work done.

(Get cosmetic work or don’t I couldn’t care less by the way)

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How old is this wally?

TheDogdidGood · 02/07/2024 22:37

I worked with someone like that. She eventually revealed herself to be a complete narcissist who built herself up by saying how good she was whilst finding fault with everyone else. Watch your back!

Marine30 · 02/07/2024 22:36

I’d find it irritating and fascinating in equal measure. Makes a change from ‘I’m on a diet and I’m really bad at x,y,z…’
I’d ignore it and have a quiet rant to someone out of office if it all got too much. She’s not hurting anyone really. Perhaps it buoys her up.