"School refusal" trend

Yes, this. I am a similar age and there was certainly plenty of absence at primary and loads of truancy at secondary. The drive to increase attendance wasn't a thing. More kids walked so could abscond on the way. You could also just walk out of school in those days. I frequently did. No one stopped you or wanted to know why you weren't in. You could easily forge a note from a parent - these weren't scrutinized and any excuse was accepted. No phone calls home either. The problem has probably always existed, it's just that there's more focus on it now every movement is followed in under 18s. There's probably an element of parental and school authority being less - but that's probably only a minor influence and only in less severe cases.

Possibly the increased emphasis on attendance has actually worsened it for some kids. I used to dodge a few lessons I hated but go in for the rest. If I had to stay in all day everyday I would probably have actually gone in less. Retaining that element of choice and control was a big help for me.

I was you op, until it happened with my child.
Be very very thankful that you don’t understand and judge from afar, I can tell you it’s hell.

I was in school in the 80s and 90s. I hated school and didn't want to go. I ran away from school. No one noticed. I used to hide in the forest instead of going to school.

My mum was too busy being beaten black and blue by my step dad to notice my issues. As if I could say "hey mum, I don't like school! I don't want to go". A joke really, she had her own problems.

No one noticed or cared, not the teachers, or kids in school, nor family. No letter home, no fuss kicked up.

So fuss, no record of anything untoward. Got Gs and Us in GCSEs. There was absolutely nothing in place to pick up this quiet kid who was falling through the cracks.

I think today, I would have been picked up by someone. A teacher perhaps.

But in the 80s and early 90s, no one, and I mean no one, gave a shiny shit about the failing, broken, quirky, quiet girl.

AuDHD, diagnosed this year at age 47. I'm part of the Lost Generation.

The fact that kids CAN kick up a stink and be noticed, is actually a massive privilege I was never afforded. It means someone cares they are struggling.

Well said.

The ignorance is really hard to stomach. To take the part of this linked to neurodiversity, and to use the example of autism, only 10% of autistic adults are able to work full-time and only 30% work at all. To receive a diagnosis, autism must involve significant impairment in key areas of life. So it is hardly surprising, given SEND provision has broken down and autistic kids are being left to struggle with significant unmet needs in mainstream schools, where they are frequently subject to victimisation, that we see this play out in very high rates of attendance difficulties.

To add insult to injury, rather than being honest about service failures due to lack of resources resulting in a crisis for SEND learners, pernicious child and parent blaming narratives are bandied about, when these are the very families who have been thrown under the bus and whose children's rights to an education which enables them to meet their potential are being unlawfully withheld.

Just about the only thing that makes this situation worse is layering on trauma/mental health difficulties. Compassion and expert support are required.

A family member school refused. She had severe OCD and anxiety. Parents were counselled to just keep taking her and not let her change schools or modify anything - OP's school of thought. She ended up with longlasting anxiety and agoraphobia and had flashbacks when she went to university and had to drop out.

Makes me so angry when I read posts like OP's. So smug and self satisfied, harmful and ignorant.

What @witchyway said.

If only they were! 😩

Children’s minds are not simpler. What utter bollocks.

What's your experience of foreign systems SeulementUneFois (probably France given your username) and how recent is it? From googling, it would seem this is a worldwide problem and trend affecting France like everywhere else although it could be that it's to a lesser extent.

The children haven’t had increasing amounts of pressure put on them over the years. If it works over there maybe there has been consistent expectations and support from an early age from teachers and parents alike, parents and teachers aren’t disengaged from schools. Over here the system, such as it is, isn’t working for teachers or for children. Whatever’s going on and succeeding in other countries isn’t happening here.

The UK seems to lack a coherence that some other countries have. We see this in public services, in education, NHS, policing. Almost like when the government gets involved it turns to shit.

I would agree with that @Garlicnaan for some children.

Children born during the pandemic then? Could be behind due to lack of interaction, parental poor mental health, family over reliance on screens (I became very insular at times and would be checking my phone for news all the time, also lots of people were juggling WFH with no childcare for periods, and this continues). We know that the first 1000 days of life - and pregnancy - are crucial in a child's development. I wouldn't be surprised if this is a factor.

@RatHole
How do you account for say the French or Eastern European education systems that are way more rigorous/ academic and have always been so?
(I speak from personal knowledge thereof.)

Don’t disagree that the school environment is a big factor but that doesn’t account for the massive increase in reception children with or in the process of getting EHCPs. Given how high the threshold is we’re also talking significant need.

Therefore there must be an increase in absolute numbers as they’ve never been through the door. 🤷

It was bad enough 10 years ago when my oldest had to be HE (working full time now, in a relationship, socialises fine), 9 years since the next child (also working full time, plans to travel the world, excellent social life), and a few months since taking my youngest out of school (still recovering from what he was put through in school), and it beggars belief that things are just getting worse. Does no one actually look at what’s going on?

Instead of saying “I know, let’s add more tests, expect every child to achieve high levels academically, set unachievable attendance targets, make little children learn masters level work, make all students learn maths until they’re 18”, why aren’t they seeing the bloody obvious? That school is actively destroying a large number of its pupils and teachers are leaving in droves. It’s ridiculous.

It all needs ripping apart and rebuilding to be an organisation that benefits everyone, not like the shambles it is right now.

@RatHole you're onto something there!

Teachers tell me it’s a direct rise they’ve never seen before and worse post-COVID. I don’t think it’s just improved diagnosis, it’s absolute numbers increasing.

I don’t believe numbers are rising. I believe that schools are now so bad for children that it’s pushing them into being so stressed that they can no longer cope. In children this comes out in behaviour and performance at school. These children were always there but before the pressure was turned up and up and up they were more able to cope. Teachers have less autonomy now to teach as they know is best, it’s all tick boxes and managers dictating how things are done. It’s no surprise that in many home ed groups the largest number of people starting to HE their children are teachers. That’s got to tell you something.

At the same time we’ve had a COL crisis that means many parents are depressed and not coping, and worrying how to make ends meet. This does not make happy engaged families.

The whole thing is shit and rubbish for everyone.

Children who refuse school end up living in a perpetual lockdown with increasingly diminished social skills, employability and education

I disagree with this statement. Since our son has stopped attending school our whole family no longer feels like it's trapped and his social skills are now flourishing as his mental health has improved. As for employability and education, he is actually now learning. He wasn't learning anything at school as he was in a constant state of trauma. Within 3 months of home education, we saw an end to his selective mutism and he went from not being able to read to now being able to read The Hobbit confidently aloud.

Teachers tell me it’s a direct rise they’ve never seen before and worse post-COVID. I don’t think it’s just improved diagnosis, it’s absolute numbers increasing.

The odd thing is that there are many users on this thread petulantly trying to make a point by saying "covid taught us that schools aren't necessary anyway". I would say it's the exact opposite. Covid taught us that humans are never supposed to live in a lockdown state and only learn or communicate via screens. The enforced isolation with a total lack of social activities had a catastrophically detrimental effect on childrens development. It's not a far jump to deduce that many of these kids crave the same environment of lockdown due to a faux sense of safety. Back then, the message was the only safe space is home and venturing outside, socialising or any sort of indoor activity was associated with sickness and death.

So in that sense, it's understandable how many kids can't cope with the idea of school post-pandemic. But living in a perpetual of lockdown is arguably worse in the long run. DD was very young at the time but spent her earliest years in near-total isolation. When she started nursery she couldn't cope with the noise and sensory state of being in a room with so many children. She ticked every box for ASD/ADHD behaviour and it was a hard time. However this seemed to be very common for small children of the same age who spent the majority of their life in lockdown. The state of isolation seems to generate sensory issues that either mimic or enhance existing neurodivergency. (I still believe DD is ND, like myself, but she enjoys school and has a solid group of friends. I think she's masking to some extent but seems genuinely happy to be in school and coping well so far). It's almost like chicken or the egg. Children who refuse school end up living in a perpetual lockdown with increasingly diminished social skills, employability and education. Children forced into school may either thrive or get even worse so it's an impossible decision for parents to make.

I hate to break it to you, but most of us feel a version of this sort of self-righteousness until the point we actually have a child who ceases to be able to function normally due to autism or long term and significant mental ill health difficulties.

At this stage, reality (and if we're very lucky, specialist advice) force us to reassess...

I think part of the issue is that if you have a child who is in a setting that can't meet needs who gets as far as burning out before they can be recognised, diagnosed, an EHCP granted and the support put in place and actually start to work...........then you now have a child with a much greater level of visible SEN need, possibly skills regression or PTSD, crushed self-esteem, anxiety etc.

Then the EHCP no longer meets their increased need, so round you go again, while they have a second breakdown and end up self harming, deregistered or expelled (or all of these alternately).

If the initial environment was more generally suitable and also support could be accessed within a term or so of staff and/or parents first wondering about an issue, the overall cascade of catastrophic collapse could be cut off at source.

@usernamealreadytaken

I’m not a teacher but a primary school governor. In our area (and I think nationally) it’s described as an “SEN crisis”, increase in children with SEN combined with a lack of funding.

Teachers tell me it’s a direct rise they’ve never seen before and worse post-COVID. I don’t think it’s just improved diagnosis, it’s absolute numbers increasing.

I know of multiple cases where children have turned up in reception non-verbal and with other complex needs. Parents haven’t accessed any agencies prior, thinking they’ll grow out of it, don’t recognise the issue - and any other reason. Teachers have been the first to say their child needs a specialist setting. Some families have specifically moved to the UK as SEN provision wasn’t catered for in their home country.

There are many other parents who have fought tooth and nail to get EHCPs in place. The school has so many they have a FT SENCO for a tiny school and that’s not enough.

The high % of complex SEN needs has changed the school dynamics, several children are waiting for places in other settings (but no funding). This impacts other children, both ND and NT. Already there are children who can’t come full-time.

If that’s a snippet of what it’s like I can only imagine the scale of the issue as young people approach secondary.

Yep I have 2 uncles (one on each side, so different parenting) who refused school and that would have been 60s/70s they "just hated and wouldn't go or would come home early" according to both my nans!

God this thread and some of the attitudes make me feel ill.

My son is 4.5, due to start school in September. He's been in nursery part time from 15 months and it's a struggle almost every single morning. We swapped settings when he was 3 and things improved but are still a struggle. We've always got him there but I dread having to do it 5 days a week with school.

He's ok well behaved and has some friends there, loves learning and being busy but he's anxious and rigid with routine - we're hoping the routine of school will appeal but are worried about how big it is compared to nursery.

We're already having meetings with the school to try and ensure things go as well as they can. He's on a waiting list for an autism assessment, his key worker says she'll be amazed if he doesn't get a diagnosis.

I can honestly see school refusal in our future and dread the judgement, I already feel "less than" some days because of how hard we find things other families just "do" even though I know we're bending over ourselves to do the best we can.

They can still do exams if they wish though @MineIsALemonFanta , we had a school refuser and so home educate him now. School refusing doesn't have to mean no education.

But yes you are right I believe, no child would choose to be that deeply unhappy and set themselves up to fail.