What do you consider worse? Cheating with the opposite sex or same sex?

This. Cheating is cheating

you get naked with someone outside your marriage, you've cheated. doesn't matter if man/woman

Same as this - although I’m a straight woman with a bi-curious DP. He’s never been in a relationship with a man but has considered hook ups in the past, but never gone through with it, so if he cheated with a man I wouldn’t take it as personally but of course would still feel devastated and betrayed. He would also be open to a poly set up so is quite free in his attitude towards relationships, but knows that I’m not, so hoping I don’t experience the answer to this post!

Cheating with the opposite sex is worse, I think, because it means you were always a joke to your husband, someone to snigger about with his new partner You never had a chance of a successful marriage from the word go.

@ThatEdgyOliveFox

daft thing to say & not true.

@YappyQueen

same sex as me because it would feel a lot more personal that someone opposite to me offering a very different sexual experience.

Both as bad as each other

Cheating is cheating. It's just the same.

Makes no difference. It’s all cheating.

If I knew my partner was bisexual, I’d think both were the same (and a relationship ender).

If I was under the impression he was straight, I’d be doubly pissed off he’d lied about that too.

In theory I would say it would be the same, but I would imagine if your partner cheated with a different sex to you then that would add confustion and pain and would make you question your whole relationship.

Having been in the unenviable position of experiencing both types of cheating; I can categorically state that same sex cheating absolutely was in a different league. It messed with every aspect of my mental health. It made me question my judgement and why was I chosen to be this person's beard.

I'd be more hurt if he cheated with a woman than with a man, but I have no idea why I feel that way!

I somehow feel cheating with the opposite sex is worse, I think because if my dh was cheating on me with another man I would feel like well it's nothing I could of done, I'm obviously just not his type anymore where if he was cheating with another woman it's almost like the woman I am wasn't enough for him

Well if my hypothetical DH had a hypothetical bump n grind with a woman I'd feel cheated, but if he did it with a man I'd just be confused and conversations would need to be had. Though if I was drunk I'd be more inclined to tell him to bring his new man friend home with us!

Okay you’ve misunderstood again, and I can’t be arsed to explain it to you. Read the posts about dancefloor lesbians, they seem to have understood my point just fine.

Ahhhh, good old 'dancefloor lesbians'.

I wouldn't personally love watching my (male) partner grind away on anyone but I think there's a lot of men out there who like the lesbian threesome idea, and a lot of these drunk faux lesbians who play up to it on club floors. Looks like your friend might have misjudged her current guy though.

My point was that if people think it’s any worse/better to cheat with the same sex, what does it say about how they feel about same-sex relationships in general says absolutely nothing about them, I have no interest in anyone else’s sexual preferences. Just like I wouldn’t expect a lesbian woman to be happy to date a bi sexual woman- I don’t want to date bi sexual men. You can discriminate when it comes to who you engage in a sexual relationship with.

For me there would be no difference, its cheating and a fatal breech of trust. I remember there used to be this kind of myth that men wouldn't mind their female partner having sex with a woman, that it would be a turn on but I've known a few women who did cheat with other women and their male partners / husbands left them when they found out.

Probably because he's one of a type of men who doesn't see female same sex attraction as a thing. There's plenty out there who see it as something women perform for men's titillation (which is sometimes the case tbh with this type of dance floor carry on between heterosexual women conscious of their male audience) or that women only resort to if there's no men around. He no doubt felt unthreatened by it due to his belief that as a man he would offer his girlfriend something superior to anything she got from the other woman.

And just as I was typing this, a comment proving my point appeared above 😂

I think you’ve misinterpreted. My point was that if people think it’s any worse/better to cheat with the same sex, what does it say about how they feel about same-sex relationships in general. Are they not as important as opposite-sex relationships if the cheating would be less hurtful 🤷🏼‍♀️

Hence my comment about how heterosexual men would respond to this question. Many men (and women, considering how many drunk women I’ve seen snogging their female mates on nights out) would say that isn’t ‘as bad’ as cheating with a man.

I wasn’t accusing anyone here of homophobia.

@NotYourHolidayDick you wouldnt care if DH shagged another woman?!

There’s additional deception if I found out my husband was cheating and gay because I was informed he was straight. It would feel worse for that reason.

I'd hate if DH cheated with a man, because it would mean that I didn't really 'know' him, iyswim. I wouldn't be too bothered if he shagged another woman.

He couldn't care less how many women I snog (I'm totally straight btw, except when I'm drunk 🤣), but he'd go nuts if I touched another man.

Not sure that helps much!