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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Utterly exhausted

33 replies

BeHazelFox · 02/07/2024 15:51

OK I'll probably be knocked down a peg, and I should step away from the Internet. But I'm 51, divorced. 4 children all vaginal births 1 good, 3 very awkward. I'm menopausal work full time in retail. Get shouted at on a daily basis. When I joined mumsnet I was seeking advice on recipes, budgeting or how to position my baby's sling. Noted I got really good advice about leaving my abusive ex. I just feel mumsnet is not the place it was. Maybe a sign of the times and change I am getting old.

OP posts:
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Utterlyexhausted · 03/07/2024 02:06

Sending you lots of love and hugs OP. There are still some nice souls around here ❤️

Cuckoochanel80 · 03/07/2024 00:50

BeHazelFox · 02/07/2024 16:47

I'm just trying to point out that mumsnet was a place of solice but not so much now

OK fair enough, I just didn't understand your op.
Personally, I think most things have gone downhill massively in the past 25 years. All I see is regression, not progression.

PaminaMozart · 02/07/2024 19:01

Honestly, this thread exemplifies OP's feeling that "mumsnet is not the place it was".

@BeHazelFox - if you are looking for advice, you may want to explain your issues in another sub-forum, rather than AIBU.

Summerfreezemakesmedrinkwine · 02/07/2024 18:48

People are incredibly shitty at the moment. Scanning for offence were none is meant to justify being a complete dick is typical, exhausting and so very, very boring.

Didimum · 02/07/2024 18:43

fieldsofbutterflies · 02/07/2024 18:31

And you accuse other people of being hostile, lol.

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Hostile to the OP, correct.

Cas112 · 02/07/2024 18:36

BeHazelFox · 02/07/2024 16:47

I'm just trying to point out that mumsnet was a place of solice but not so much now

Yes but what do vaginal births have to do with that is what people are asking OP🤣

fieldsofbutterflies · 02/07/2024 18:31

Didimum · 02/07/2024 17:19

I didn’t @ you. The overall tone of responses is hostile rather than anyone at all giving the OP the benefit of the doubt.

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And you accuse other people of being hostile, lol.

Didimum · 02/07/2024 17:19

fieldsofbutterflies · 02/07/2024 16:35

I was referring to my own answer.

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I didn’t @ you. The overall tone of responses is hostile rather than anyone at all giving the OP the benefit of the doubt.

jannier · 02/07/2024 17:02

What have/can you try to change things up?
Talk to GP.
Get kids to do chores.
Try to find some me time even if it's a half hour in the bath.
Exercise.....helps exhaustion/meno symptoms.
New job
Look at what you do at home and see if it's all necessary......I've not ironed in years. Make a mince/spag bol/chilli mix splitting and adding different spices before freezing so 3 dinners cooked in 1 session.

HappierTimesAhead · 02/07/2024 16:57

OP, do you feel that people are generally nastier IRL and online?

HappierTimesAhead · 02/07/2024 16:56

3luckystars · 02/07/2024 16:55

Do you think the problem is your job rather than Mumsnet, being shouted at every day is bad for you.

Anyway, stick around please. The more the merrier 💝

❤

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 02/07/2024 16:55

I think this sounds like you’re really struggling OP. I’m not sure how the issues you raise really relate to what MN is like but the fact you connect them suggests you might need some support in rl.

3luckystars · 02/07/2024 16:55

Do you think the problem is your job rather than Mumsnet, being shouted at every day is bad for you.

Anyway, stick around please. The more the merrier 💝

fieldsofbutterflies · 02/07/2024 16:54

BeHazelFox · 02/07/2024 16:47

I'm just trying to point out that mumsnet was a place of solice but not so much now

I think it is, still.

But your OP is quite confusing.

HappierTimesAhead · 02/07/2024 16:53

BeHazelFox · 02/07/2024 16:47

I'm just trying to point out that mumsnet was a place of solice but not so much now

I think it's variable but there are still supportive people out there and some lovely threads- see this one:
www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5107553-i-have-a-very-clever-4-year-old?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Apileofballyhoo · 02/07/2024 16:52

HRT if you're not on it, bloods for iron, B12, thyroid. If you are on hrt it might need to be changed.

You might be also carrying a lot of emotional baggage from the sounds of things, and that's very tiring.

I haven't been on MN much in the past couple of years and I agree people are harsher. Places like style and beauty were always just chatty, though people would give their opinion, but I've noticed the comments there now. A few years ago they'd be told this is S&B not AIBU. Sometimes someone pulls them up. Relationships is a bit wobbly too. People used to be blunt but sometimes I think people are nasty there now. They usually get pulled up on it though, I have to say that.

Original poster
BeHazelFox · 02/07/2024 16:47

I'm just trying to point out that mumsnet was a place of solice but not so much now

OP posts:
Cuckoochanel80 · 02/07/2024 16:45

Not sure what the point of the post is op

PaminaMozart · 02/07/2024 16:42

You are probably (pre-)menopausal and stressed out by a very unsatisfactory job. Having to bring up 4 children on your own can't be easy.

There is so much more information about the menopause nowadays. Read up about what may happen, commit to healthy eating and exercising, and consider HRT.

Can you change jobs?

Any other issues that, if resolved, might lead to a calmer life for you?

Original poster
BeHazelFox · 02/07/2024 16:42

Didimum · 02/07/2024 16:27

A classic example of MN being immediately hostile. Perhaps OP has suffered long-term issues from the three births she notes and it's a contributing factor.

Thank you. I knew I would get some negative responses, that's fine.

OP posts:
fieldsofbutterflies · 02/07/2024 16:35

Didimum · 02/07/2024 16:34

We'll have to disagree that 'what the fuck does your vagina have to do with MN?' isn't hostile.

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I was referring to my own answer.

Didimum · 02/07/2024 16:34

fieldsofbutterflies · 02/07/2024 16:32

Not hostile, just very confused.

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We'll have to disagree that 'what the fuck does your vagina have to do with MN?' isn't hostile.

fieldsofbutterflies · 02/07/2024 16:32

Didimum · 02/07/2024 16:27

A classic example of MN being immediately hostile. Perhaps OP has suffered long-term issues from the three births she notes and it's a contributing factor.

Not hostile, just very confused.

FuzzyStripes · 02/07/2024 16:31

I’d be exhausted in your place as well (I feel I am as it is). I hope you are able to have a peaceful break coming up.

Didimum · 02/07/2024 16:27

A classic example of MN being immediately hostile. Perhaps OP has suffered long-term issues from the three births she notes and it's a contributing factor.