To find it so wearisome constantly being called the wrong name

My husband's sister is called Danielle and he calls her Daniel.

Obviously he knows her name and had done so for forty years. He has a perfectly normal relationship with her and he's absolute not doing it on purpose as he's not that sort of person at all. He just can't seem to hear the difference at all.

He does pronounce some other words with a 'yuu' sound incorrectly. Most famously he says bear for beer.

Mine’s slightly different. I have a traditional name but there’s a common nickname and a less common one (that’s more usual in American - I live in the UK but have family in America and Canada). I’ve been known by the nickname since I was a toddler by my family and friends. My work place colleagues have always called me this and my email has been using this name. A year ago my organisation merged so new team and email. Suddenly I’m not allowed a nickname (it’s more my known by name rather than nickname but hey), and my team is totally confused why I use my nickname rather than my traditional name that’s apparently “more professional”. It’s never been an issue before. A few insist on using my traditional name, or worse, the more common nickname (which is not me at all). Argh! Thanks for letting me vent.

I feel your pain.

My name begins with a K - it’s an unusual, but not totally unheard of way of spelling the name.

I regularly get called just about every name starting with K. Kirsty is a regular one. My name really isn’t very similar to Kirsty. It’s also regularly misspelled in emails.

I think that it makes me far more conscientious with correctly using other people’s names.

🤣🤣 I love this!!

A friend of my husband called me Maggie for about 20 years until he died. My name is about as far away from Maggie as you can get.

Happens to me in work all the time (usually by female superiors) my name can be shortened to two very different sounding names, obviously they call me the one I despise and have never gone by. It never stops even when my colleagues will loudly ask why they’re calling me a name which is alien to me.

weird how it’s only ever from women, they’re obviously doing it to disrespect me.

Racists do this. Point out to those who cannot remember your name correctly that even though you may be a white person (apologies OP if you are not), it is a classic racist thing, and the people not remembering would never want to be labelled as such.

I get a form of this. My surname is a fairly common one,but without the 's' on the end. So imagine your surname is 'Hill' but people keep saying it or spelling it 'Hills'. One particular teacher at my DD's secondary school was a repeat offender,despite me or my DD correcting her at least a dozen times. So I started adding an 's' to the end of her name. She jumped on me instantly! 'Its 'Holland', not 'Hollands,no 's' on the end. 'Same here' I replied. She still continued to do it. 🤬

My manager was "hmm does it really matter"
So I called him Samantha for the day every time I spoke to him and every email I sent
He concluded perhaps it did matter

I'd refuse to answer, every single time . I'd also consider calling repeat offenders by the wrong name.

I never suggested you couldn't ask someone to say their name @Southlondoner88?
It's by far the best approach if you have the opportunity.
Forvo.com is very useful for learning how names are pronounced too.

My earlier post was about correcting your assumption that languages other than English aren't phonetic just because you don't know how to 'decode' them (ie don't know the pronunciation from the spelling alone).

It's an assumption that's made all too often on here.

Oh, story of my primary years, the teachers (Irish nuns in the main) used to call me by the wrong name all the time (think Anne instead of Anna, or Louise instead of Louisa). They put the fact I didn’t answer to it down to my hearing loss. 🙄

I have exactly the same, think Roxanne/Roseanne type. So annoying, especially when written down, some people clearly just can't read.

My middle DC is Alasdair. It gets very mangled in the spelling. However, my SIL is doing a project incorporating the family names and she got in touch to check the spelling and which version he wanted: Al, Ali or Alasdair. That's a good SIL!
My late DSIS was a Joanna, and was constantly called Joanne. She tended to go by Jo though.

I often get my first name spelt with the wrong letter, I actually have the traditional English spelling of the name (I'm in England) but for some reason, people more often default to the other way. I can live with that, unless I'm sending someone an email or message with my name displayed the way I spell it and they go on to respond with it the other way 😡

Or sing the Ting Tings at them - "That's not my name, that's not my name...they call me Tracy..."

Just thinking about this though, in Ireland we've had lots of foreign names arrive in the last 20 or so years. Should the parents have abandoned their traditional names or should we just learn them? Sometimes people are just terribly lazy with all things different when in reality it's not at all difficult to learn.

@CiaranotCiaran most people with half a brain can either google a pronunciation or ask the person how it’s pronounced. It’s not that difficult and actually I’m finding there are certain personality types (cultures) who are better at making the effort.

@Melisha are you being sarcastic or pretending to be stupid? Danielle pronounced Dan-yell and Daniella pronounced Dan-yell- ah are different like Louise and Louisa.

Can you really not tell the difference between a name with an a at the end and one without?
Can't decide if you're being thick or obtuse.

I would definitely find it annoying, though I think the annoyance should be directed at your parents. People don't think about the lifelong consequences when giving a child an unusual name or difficult or ambiguous pronunciation.

I have a first name with lots of different spellings, ways to shorten it etc. I'm constantly having people spelling it wrong. My married surname is also a common word in English but it is spelt with one letter different.

I've had to put a note on my email signature for people to check the spelling of my name because they are constantly spelling one or both parts wrong or getting the wrong first name shortening. I don't understand it; my name is there in my email address and my signature.

As a teacher, I was always very careful to get the correct pronunciation and spelling of my pupils' names (even unfamiliar named from different cultures). It's just a common courtesy. It infuriates me that people can't show me the same respect. I also have a hearing loss and will always ask people to correct my pronunciation if it's wrong. Again, just courtesy.

We have a new lady at work and she has the same name as a former employee but minus the a at the end. I nearly fall over myself trying not to get it wrong because it's just rude to not at least attempt to get it right, I have slipped up a couple of times but I always apologise. Doesn't help that she actually looks like the other lady.

Well ok, everyone's different but I can clearly hear the difference with those two.

There is very little difference when you say it out loud. I am struggling to hear the difference.
Sorry if I knew you I would just avoid saying your name.

It's not nice. People constantly shorten my name and I hate it. I do correct people but they dont listen. It annoys me more when it's people who are new friends, if they keep doing it, then I don't even want to be friends and it puts me off them!