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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to send DS12 to detention

109 replies

AlwaysTheGoodGirl · 02/07/2024 14:22

I know everyone thinks their kid is perfect, but mine is super-conscientious, and every day he comes in from school saying most of the kids just mess about and break things all day and all he wants to do is get on with his work.

Anyway, his class have been given detention tomorrow after school, and the teacher (supply teacher as far as I can tell) has sent a really angry-sounding explanation for the detention. I know DS is going to be gutted about losing his 100% positive points record more than anything. He's been invited to an awards evening next week for achieving 100% positive points, so I know this is going to cloud it for him. And me! I'm gutted too!

Is it any good ringing the school to complain, or is this just a suck it up situation?

OP posts:
DeclansAFeckingDream · 02/07/2024 21:07

I don't believe in whole class detentions, I think it's bad practice. I've never had a class where every single child has misbehaved, it's normally one or two children who disrupt the learning of the rest of the class and they can be dealt with separately.

itsnotyouagain · 02/07/2024 20:33

I think senior management need to get involved to unpick what happened and support the supply who sounds at the end of their tether.

I've covered classes where the majority have misbehaved and it's hard work. It's easier to count the kids on task and working and reward them.

PrincessOfPreschool · 02/07/2024 20:26

AlwaysTheGoodGirl · 02/07/2024 14:30

This was the explanation given. It's exactly what I hear every day. The Y7 kids seem to be out of control and it's really putting DS off school 😕

Year 7! Wait for Year 9 😂

Bewareofthisonetoo · 02/07/2024 20:22

Whole class detention should not be given!!! Very lazy, and the school sounds awful.
You should be looking for an alternative.

Skodacool · 02/07/2024 20:20

Every school has to have a behaviour policy. You can find it on their website, or ask for a copy. It should set out how unacceptable behaviour is dealt with. If the teacher hasn’t followed the policy then complain to the head.

wintersgold · 02/07/2024 20:02

Spirallingdownwards · 02/07/2024 18:21

It's fairly disrespectful to refer to the supply teacher as a 15 year old on work experience. Let's hope your son wasn't as disrespectful if you are going to oppose this detention.

It's even more disrespectful to punish a whole class for the behaviour of a group. OP's description is very fitting IMO

wintersgold · 02/07/2024 20:00

YANBU. Just don't send him, say he's already got plans. If they try to move it for another day, repeat - he's busy, he can't make it. I wouldn't even consider sending my child to a class detention like that

Namechangencncnc · 02/07/2024 19:31

I think your bigger concern should be that your son cannot be learning in this sort of environment, and if the school has issues with whole class behaviour when supply is in, do they have a system of getting SLT to check on supply staff? Do they have a plan for the behaviour of the worst offenders ?

Also think it's unfair to refer to member of staff as a 15 year old on work experience. I think the note sounds like they didn't know it would go home. All schools have different systems, it's understandable if a supply teacher doesn't get it right.

lanthanum · 02/07/2024 19:27

HappierTimesAhead · 02/07/2024 19:02

I just find this approach really problematic because you are then undermining your child and for what, so the supply teacher doesn't lose face? I don't think we have to support the teachers (misguided) approach to discipline at the expense of our own children if they were not in the wrong. It's essentially sending them the message to just get walked on in life.

Not so the supply teacher doesn't lose face, but so that he stands a chance of being able to keep control another time - which is actually in the interests of the good kids.
If his detention is cancelled, then the kids will be just as bad next time, because they know that if enough of them play up that he can't deal with them individually, at least some of them will get away with it.

Superhansrantowindsor · 02/07/2024 19:23

Whole class detentions are never a good idea but you should check first of all. Even the most lovely, wonderful kids can have a moment of madness.

TeabySea · 02/07/2024 19:23

sunnygardens · 02/07/2024 18:14

I would not allow my child to attend this detention in those circumstances. No way.

No, me either. If my child had misbehaved, or been rude to a teacher, or done something to warrant punishing, fine. In this case, it sounds like a blanket sanction on the class, which is unfair.
I'd want my child to know I had their back in such cases.

eurochick · 02/07/2024 19:23

That's a terrible message. The teacher couldn't control the class, admits that not all kids were disruptive and then dishes out a whole class punishment! And uses terrible Spag along the way.

TrixieFatell · 02/07/2024 19:22

Not secondary but my child had a class detention in year 6 for some of her class being disruptive during assembly. I spoke with the teacher, asked if my child was one of the ones being disruptive to which she said no, and I asked why she was being punished. It was some bollocks about collective responsibility, I said I did not give my permission for her to miss her lunch break and that all they were teaching her was there's no point in behaving because you'll get punished anyway. She was excused, told in front of the whole.class she wasn't in detention because "your mum said no". Thankfully the teacher left the next term.

Combattingthemoaners · 02/07/2024 19:21

AlwaysTheGoodGirl · 02/07/2024 14:29

Type: 40 Minute Date: 03/07/2024 Note: Virtually the whole class refused to follow any instructions Had to be brought back to classroom from ILC for messing about noise levels through the roof. Defiance from most. Back door opened without permission. fire fighting at all times then it would start somewhere else

I’d be embarrassed to send that home to parents. It just reads “I can’t control the class”. I don’t agree with full class detentions as it is never all students misbehaving. I’d ring up and complain as I imagine this is not their behaviour policy. I’m a secondary school teacher.

SnobblyBobbly · 02/07/2024 19:12

With 100% positive record this close to the end of the year I'd absolutely be contesting this.

My own son, is nowhere near 100%, but this year the school punishments have been under my microscope because they're so disproportionate. Group punishments are such a cop out and in this case I'd want to know specifically what my son did to warrant the detention. I don't want to be a pain in the arse at all but a kid who cares is worth defending.

ThatEdgyOliveFox · 02/07/2024 19:11

I have once set a whole class detention. It was a horrendous lesson, a bottom set history year 9 last period on a Friday in July. I
had 4 children removed by behaviour support that afternoon, the fifth time I was told to issue a whole class detention. The behaviour policy failed that day.
Sometimes even the “always good” behave get caught up in something.

TimeFlysWhenYoureHavingRum · 02/07/2024 19:02

Collective punishment is outlawed by the Geneva Convention in times of war. It certainly has no place in a school. I'd be going straight to the head and governors.

HappierTimesAhead · 02/07/2024 19:02

lanthanum · 02/07/2024 18:15

I'd be inclined not to dispute him going to the detention, but take it up with the head of year, along the lines of:
I understand that whole class punishments are not part of the behaviour policy, although I realise it is very difficult for supply staff who don't know the class. DS is very upset that his perfect behaviour record is spoiled, and whilst he has attended the detention, I wonder whether the official records can be amended so that he (and others) are not penalised.
That way hopefully they can put things right without undermining the supply teacher too much.

I just find this approach really problematic because you are then undermining your child and for what, so the supply teacher doesn't lose face? I don't think we have to support the teachers (misguided) approach to discipline at the expense of our own children if they were not in the wrong. It's essentially sending them the message to just get walked on in life.

LordSnot · 02/07/2024 19:01

The only detention I ever got in school was one of these all-class things. I didn't go and the teacher said a word, presumably as she knew it was wrong just as I did.

I feel very sorry for this teacher though, having read that message. What appalling work conditions.

PurpleGoose · 02/07/2024 18:55

Regarding the detention, yes if your son is going to be upset then I'd challenge it.

It is also quite likely that the supply teacher has not been given/made aware of the full details of the schools behaviour policy - especially if it's their first day/few days in the school. They also won't know any of the students' names which makes it very difficult to pick out the few students who weren't causing chaos in what sounds like a very challenging classroom environment.

Regarding the unprofessional tone of the ClassCharts message, I suspect that the supply teacher was not made aware that behaviour system comments are visible to parents, as that sounds like an internal 'short-hand' note (probably with a character count that prevents detailed sentences about what sounds like a string of incidences).

Overall though I'd be wanting to speak to senior management about how they will be dealing with what seems like an ongoing serious 'pack-like' behaviour issue (from what you've said this doesn't sound like a one off 'talking advantage of having a supply teacher to mess about and 'have a laugh'). If they don't have a plan/after a few weeks there's no evidence of the plan working I'd be looking to change my child's school.

SuncreamAndIceCream · 02/07/2024 18:41

You'll probably find it's been flagged up to pastoral lead already and tomorrow they'll sort it out so only the naughty kids get a sanction.

No one does whole class detentions any more - it makes sense that a supply teacher has given it as they may not have had any CPD in a little while.

Basically, don't panic. I'm sure you're not the only parent who has contacted the HOY. It will get sorted.

Dragonsandcats · 02/07/2024 18:37

I wouldn’t be sending my ds to that detention and I’d be emailing the head of year to ask what they were going to do to improve behaviour as that sounds like an awful learning environment. Whole class punishments are just lazy and ineffective. The naughty ones don’t care and you end up punishing the well behaved ones.

Spirallingdownwards · 02/07/2024 18:21

AlwaysTheGoodGirl · 02/07/2024 17:56

@frightenedmum1 This is the note he put out on Class Charts, if you're familiar with that. So, yes, it has gone out to all parents. He sounds like a 15 year old on work experience tbh.
I have sent an email to head of year, nothing back yet, so I'll keep an eye out for a response.
As for whole class punishments having the opposite effect, yes they do! Ds says that some of the kids who started off the year well behaved are now joining in with the messing about as they don't see the point in always being good. I agree with him.

It's fairly disrespectful to refer to the supply teacher as a 15 year old on work experience. Let's hope your son wasn't as disrespectful if you are going to oppose this detention.

waltzingparrot · 02/07/2024 18:19

Once you've ascertained your son is blameless then I'd be asking the Head to explain to you what this class detention is supposed to be teaching your child. It's not up to your son to police his classmates behaviour - that's the teacher's job.
As far as I could ever see, it just teaches kids that life's not fair.

lanthanum · 02/07/2024 18:15

I'd be inclined not to dispute him going to the detention, but take it up with the head of year, along the lines of:
I understand that whole class punishments are not part of the behaviour policy, although I realise it is very difficult for supply staff who don't know the class. DS is very upset that his perfect behaviour record is spoiled, and whilst he has attended the detention, I wonder whether the official records can be amended so that he (and others) are not penalised.
That way hopefully they can put things right without undermining the supply teacher too much.

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