To ask you to have a word with me

Does this have anything to do with the Bill character being played by a non binary actor in the stage production of Malory Towers a few years ago?

As someone with fine, straight hair it looks so much better short. Let her do what she wants, although I would get the hairdresser to explain to her how the cut she wants can - or can't - be adapted to her hair type/face shape so she isn't disappointed.

But you're massively reinforcing gender stereotypes if you make her think that only girls who want to be boys can have short hair.

If you're worried about 'the trans issue' then the thing to do is just let her know that girls can still be girls with short hair.

I was thinking the same thing. I think we have gone backwards and feel like this trend is not reversing any time soon. I wonder when girls will again be expected to wear dresses all the time unless they are trying to make a statement.

Am I missing something, because I really, really don't see the problem with a short haircut?

I don't remember anyone worrying about this when I was little, and I was born in the 70s. Lots of girls had short hair - at least one-third of my school year had short hair when I started secondary school, and the sky did not fall in. Have we gone backwards or what?

If she does a radical short cut now and hates it, she's only 8, it'll grow back.

If you stop her now she'll do it when she's older which could cause a lot more upset (if she doesn't like it, I mean).

Just let her. Of the images you've picked out, I think they're all nice.

I think it’s more important to explain to her that the pictures and people in magazines are people with their own type of hair and their own facial features so she should expect it to not look exactly the same. I’d be worried about the expectation vs reality. There may be disappointment. Then let her do what she wants, she may like it or it may be a valuable lesson in learning about self image and what you see in the media.

This is the perfect opportunity for discussion and positive reinforcement though.

She can be a girl and have short hair, or you could send the message that girls don't have short hair.

One of my younger dds (9) lives in joggers and tshirts from the boys section. We have talked about how boys and girls sections of clothing is stupid and you just like what you like, and she's totally fine with it, same with clubs, she's the only girl on her football team, and rugby team, same discussions were had around sport at their ages and its totally fine to enjoy whatever clubs she wants.

She's totally comfortable with being a girl, despite people asking if shes a boy (and she has very, very long hair) we do have a close trans family member so she is fully aware of the topics around trans folk as well.

Honestly, how you handle this will give her some of the tools she needs for the rest of her life. Let her have the haircut, give her phrases to say to anyone who is negative, if she hates it then it will grow out and she's learned a lesson, if she loves it then she's learned about how she feels comfortable and what she feels suits her.

Just go with it, it's only hair, the message you send her is far more important than hair, which will grow back anyway.
This. My DS wanted a haircut I really dont like, but he got it, its his hair not mine. Bodily autonomy is such an important thing to learn. A friend of DDs had all her hair shaved off except a short fringe. I think her parents did the right thing letting her get the cut she wanted. She's happy and confident, I wouldn't say it exactly suited her but she carried it off.

My dd had hers cut shorter donated over 13 inches to wigs for kids, and within 12 months she had it cut shorter and shorter till its exactly like what your dd says she wants, it was so hard watching her hair going, almost like she was self sabotaging, but my dd absolutely rocks her new look now, and it's been amazing watching her own personality and self esteem growing and developing.

When I was a kid I always had short hair. I wanted a really neat bob but that never worked as my hair was fine and I didn't want to style it.
An Irish nan salon gave me a Gary Barlow flattop, against my consent once when I was 13. Not my finest moment!

I agree with all this. Also, she'll likely look gorgeous. Kids' faces are beautiful with short hair. I am trying to persuade my daughter (4) to have Dora the Explorer hair. I'd love her to crop it too. You can wear any style when you're little. I had mine cut like Jennifer Aniston when she went short, I was 16. I hated it so much but actually, looking back it looked fantastic! Let her own it, love it, hate it, whatever. It's good for her.

It is great that you DD wants to do something different. It seems like this a rare in younger girls these days.

I would however be careful in going too short all at once, as you do not want her hating it. My suggestion would be to agree that she gets a shorter cut that leaves some length and waits a few weeks. If she still wants the shorter style after that she can return and have the length cut off. As others have mentioned, hair grows back.

Can we get her another book series with a different spunky heroine maybe? Harry Potter? (Clutching at straws)

Sort of like this

DD wanted hers boy short but with fine hair and a double crown it was never going to work without a ridiculous amount of styling every day that I knew she wouldn’t do.

We've compromised on boy short one side, bob the other side. It avoids the double crown issue as there’s still enough weight at the back, and looks absolutely fabulous. How about something like that?

Surely it suits some people and not others, depending on their face shape?

Some young girls can look lovely with a gamine pixie cut.

They don't all have to be clones!

And it will grow out in three months or so.

I'd just be careful op about the on-line influences that your DD is accessing ATM as she is insisting on "boys hair". Maybe explore a bit with her why she wants to look like a boy and what's wrong with looking like a girl for example? Eight is not too young to be influenced by trans rhetoric.

Have a word with the hairdresser. Would your DD be allowed to use products in her hair or want to spend ages styling it? Those ‘beach head’ styles are actually really difficult to achieve with fine hair unless you use a lot of product and spend ages with the blow dryer.

Let her have it cut it how she wants!
My parents were very controlling about my hair and I wish they’d let me get the unflattering hair cuts that I wanted to suit me out the way when I was your dds age rather than in my 20s

Op I have thin and fine straight hair too, I had long beautiful hair and decided I wanted to go short. Think I was around 8/9 and fought my dm hard to do it. So she let me and I went for a very short bob kind of hairstyle, similar to what your dd wanted.
It did not suit me and I was in tears for weeks, I looked like a boy and short hair is Really hard to set and style too!
I remember crying so much not wanting to go to school. I'm 42 now and have never had short hair again! Think I was traumatised lol.

Please let her. Ask the hairdresser to have a word with her about how best to adapt that style fir her hair.

I wanted long hair (shoulder length) as a girl but my DM had it cut. I've never understood why she wouldn't let me.