Holiday plans mess - my fault so suck it up?

Also are you absolutely sure your flight cannot be transferred to her Dsis at a cost. That might be the cheapest option for everyone.

YABU for NOT assuming separate rooms.

They're adults, not kids on a sleepover.

Noooo way I'd be sharing. Not. A. Chance.

Seems like a serious lack of communication on both sides here.

Didn't she send through the hotel email once booked, and why - if you assumed you were in separate rooms - did you not wonder why she was booking your room as well ?

I think the most I would offer is if you found a decent hotel where you could both have singles, that you would pay the difference between that and the original cost. And say if original hotel had a pool and this one didn't, throw in the cost of a spa visit, but I wouldn't be paying her Dsis flight costs.

Friend is out of order with organising hotel without checking sharing is ok. As PP stated twin rooms often turn out to be a double! This situation can be rectified by seeking alternative accommodation but she is refusing to do so!
Personally, as the flight is non refundable, OP should sort her own accommodation out enjoy the weekend away (either by herself or meet up with friend if she wishes to!)
If friend wants to take her sister to room share etc, they sort it out between themselves!
Call her bluff!!

When I go away with a friend we always share. So unless you specified you didn't want to share I can understand why she thought you'd be ok with it.

Best solution would be sister comes to share the room and you book your own room in a cheaper hotel (or the same one if you can afford it.) Otherwise I guess you'll have to pay for your share of the original room and then book your own as well - obviously depends if you can afford it.

I'd focus on explaining you don't want to disturb her with your snoring and getting up in the night.

I can't see how this is your fault. She should've asked not assumed you'd be happy to share.

I would book my own room and she can sort and pay for her own.

If she's pissed off with you, I'd go anyway and let her do whatever she wants. If she wants her sister with her, her sister can pay for it.

Not sharing would be the default for me. I would definitely expect my own room.

I think she's totally chancing her luck anyway. She just wants her sister to come along instead and is finding any excuse for her to come cheaply - at OP's expense. Really leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

I don't blame you. I am far too old for a sleepover also. I like the comfort of my own bathroom and room. I think she is being unreasonable, expecting you to contribute to her sister's flights.

I would assume sharing is the default unless you had clearly stated otherwise.

cut-off is when your own kids are old enough to have their own room 😂

For friends, I think when you leave uni. Once you have a job, you don't share, or at least you don't assume anyone will.

I would share rooms, stay in grotty accommodation, and get the overnight Megabus when I was in my late teens/early 20s because I was skint. I'm now in my mid 30s and in a position to "throw money at the problem" in order to avoid being uncomfortable.

I mean, within reason. I'm not a Rockefeller 😂

NOT sharing is the default!

Unless you book for parents and their school-age kids, many people have no interest in sharing with anyone.

The friend is being ridiculous, the OP should stick with the options she offered:
booking another room
OR booking a cheaper hotel
OR booking herself another room but no way should the OP pay for the sister's cost "difference" when OP herself would lose the cost of her flight.

OP, if you don't hear from her, book yourself another room, let her know and don't lose your flight.

I think when you are young sharing rooms is standard, as we get older things can change maybe some pp haven't factored in this change.

It is a simple misunderstanding and you have offered some great alternatives.

I think the best thing would be for her sister to buy the flight from you and change the name. If someone was behaving in a childish way like ignnoring messages I would be questioning them anyway and whether the trip was a good idea. It seems very immature over a simple miscommunication that is no ones fault, as she should have checked with you before booking as well.

Really weird that you didn't discuss hotel and rooms before she booked.

Anyway, now it's done I'd message and say "ah well as it's not a package holiday that makes things a bit easier as it's just the room booking we have to be concerned with - I'm happy for your sister to come along on the holiday if you're desperate to stay in that particular hotel and it means it will keep costs down for you - I'll just book my own separate room so you can split the cost of a room with your sister." Don't even mention YOUR flight that YOU booked for yourself. It's nothing to do with her, the cheeky cow - it's not a package holidady!!

If there was a vote on this thread it would be split.

(Almost like the shoes on/shoes off debate.
half of us saying it’s disgusting and basically treading dog poo into friends’ carpets. The other half of us saying how inhospitable expecting people to scrabble around and take their nice shoes off and be uncomfortable in their socks)

In this version it’s either ‘It’s totally obvious that you would each need your own room” v “of course you would share why on earth wouldn’t you!? It’s a totally normal assumption to make”

@Afternoonteavirgin I shared when younger as it was more economical and also holidayed & travelled more with friends at that point. Friends would kip in my room when I was a student and vice versa. Nowadays, when I stay with friends it would be in a guest bedroom. So for me it would just feel odd to share now and I could afford my own room & prefer bathroom privacy so that's what I'd expect to do.

My cut off was when I had children. The pure unadulterated bliss of having a room to myself when on holiday with a friend!
However, I'd trade it in for a cheaper, better, bigger room.

My oldest friend and I are 45. We go away twice a year and always get a twin room. Can't imagine we'll change that over the decades.

I guess the moral here is in any situation at all if something is important then say so at the start.
too many assumptions in life and then there is misunderstandings.

And in circumstances where someone can’t or won’t be flexible due to something like a medical reason or feeling really uncomfortable (such as sharing a room or needing own bathroom) be even more crystal clear. No ifs, buts, maybes or assumptions!

You are at fault here. I would assume that going with a friend we would have a twin room

You're really unreasonable doubling the cist of her accomadation 3 weeks to go because you wanted your own rolm. You ahousl have been explicit at the time of booking. Her sister can buy your flight and pay for the change of name (i would offer to pay that as its your fault ) thar way you get your refund on your flight too

I’m shocked people think you should pay for half of her room when she has the option to move hotel to one she can actually afford and is choosing not to!

I am wondering why people are saying it is the norm to share while younger but not older? What is the cut off point? 30s? 40s? Is it because of more funds (usually)? Or because we get smellier and 'snorey' as we age?

I don't think you did anything wrong, I would not be expecting to share a room. That's one heck of an assumption on your friends part.

Personally I'd pay for another hotel room.

In my world the default assumption for 2 friends travelling together would be a shared room so I think you are at fault for not making it clear that you are not prepared to share rooms at the point when your friend was booking the hotel

As to the best resolution I am really not sure what is fair and depends somewhat how keen you are to salvage the friendship

If you want to avoid a fall out and anyone incurring extra unnecessary expense then the obvious solution would be just to go with the shared room even if it isn't what you really want