Holiday plans mess - my fault so suck it up?

Because your house a multiple rooms, a hotel room at a cost per room doesn't. In my world, and most peoples on here, people either share or say they want their own room. When I go away with my friends the ones who want their own room say I want my own room, and the ones who are happy to share just go with the flow. I'd consider that normal.

YABU. I’ve been on a lot of holidays with friends and we always share a room. It’s a very normal assumption - and kind of the point of going with someone, to share the room cost!! If you knew you would be SO rigid and wouldn’t want to share, you should have asked way in advance what the sleeping arrangement would be. I agree, either pay for her sister to go, pay for your own room plus half of hers, or suck it up and share (though the atmosphere might be frosty now)

Your (expensive) mistake here.

Because one of them is a house, where bedrooms come for no extra cost to you, and one of them is a hotel, where there is a charge per room. You can't understand that it's quite normal for people to keep costs low? Why do you think they offer twin rooms?

Good compromise.

Though having seen recent threads on friends going away together and it not being exactly smooth sailing, I shall wish you luck!

Why is it "normal"?

I have been invited to stay over at friends houses many times. I can't think of one time - since school - where I ended up sharing their bedroom? At the very worst, someone is on the sofa in a different room, but sharing your host bedroom? Never.

How is that different with a hotel?

I’d book myself into a separate hotel. Go and have a lovely time. She’s being very unreasonable

Why would it need to be made clear?

Why would any adult assume they were expected to share a room?!

I would never assume I was sharing a room with a travelling companion unless we have specifically discussed and agreed that.

Is there any option of day a 1bed hotel room? Ie bedroom and separate sleeping on sofa?

That may be cheaper than 2 doubles?

I'm glad you're going still! Personally I wouldn't pay her the difference in the room price - this was simply a lack of communication on both sides, no one's fault - and the idea of you paying the difference in flight prices is CF territory.

Well, she's not speaking to you so I wouldn't bother giving her any money. It was just miscommunication, no one's fault. Why should you bear the cost of that any more than her? Maybe she'll calm down & you can sort it, but I wouldn't go out of your way.

If you are paying for your half of the double room, plus a single then her Dsis doesn't need to come as friend has the holiday at a cost she originally budgeted for.

I wouldn't expect to share a room, and in fact if that was what the other person wanted I would expect them to ask me if it was ok and not just assume. Your 'friend' has all the options, get another room, go to a different hotel, invite another person. The hotel presumably can still be changed/cancelled without penalty, but the flights cannot. She could invite her sister as well and share a room with her. Her proposal to you is selfish and cheeky, and I would be reconsidering the friendship on the basis of it.

Difficult one. I think you are both at fault tbh for not talking about it and assuming. I hate sharing rooms (I have small children, absolute bliss of a room of my own when staying away). But on trips away with other female friends we have always talked about it at the point of booking.

If you can easily afford it (I have no idea if this is the case and don’t want to presume) and want to salvage the friendship then I would offer to pay 1.5 and get your own room without raising her costs. If not on either account then just go alone. Paying her sister’s flights in mad

It’s quite rare to get a single room so I would have assumed it to be a twin.

In this case I think you should pay for a separate room and go and use your flight. if able to, then cover the cost of the shared room, but NOT the flight.

It sounds like a communication error on both sides with you each assuming the arrangements. But she has behaved badly since by refusing any sort of compromise and then (it sounds like) ordering you not to go! It's your holiday too!

I would go anyway, arrangements my own accommodation and be prep to sightsee alone if she was still stropping/sulking. If she kept haranguing me for money so her sister could go I'd just say no and ignore.

There should always be give and take in a friendship but that doesn't mean one friend always has to give into the other's demands.

I think sharing in this situation is normal, unless you specified you wanted your own room. So this is on you. Either go and share (which that's probably ruined now), or make sure your friend isn't out of pocket. I wouldn't subsidise her sister though.

I think you’re both at fault for not checking with each other on sleeping arrangements but I think she’s more at fault because she should have been certain before paying.

You’re unreasonable to ask her switch hotels. Tell her she can keep the room she has and you’ll book your own room, in the same hotel or nearby.

If she refuses then tell her you won’t be paying for the hotel room or her sister’s incremental flight cost. She’s having a laugh with that one, but so are you expecting her to change hotel.

I won’t share a room with anyone, not even a sister. It’s a hill I’d die on. It’s very weird she didn’t check you were ok to share when she booked - it wouldn’t dawn on me I’d have to clarify.

You can often transfer a flight booking to someone else's name for a fee if you don't go.

I think the main thing this thread proves is that there is no default!

I am 50 and would happily share a room with any of my friends who I knew well enough to be going on a long weekend citybreak with. As long as they were happy to... I went away recently with a friend, suggested we get a twin room, she said she snored and wanted her own room so that's what we did.

Neither of you are at fault here as you both made assumptions - it's just they were the opposite of each other.

If you tell her you're nocturnal (and might want to put the light on/boil a kettle) and that you snore, and she says she's still happy to share - are you happy to share on that basis?
The obvious solution is that instead of just suggesting a cheaper hotel, you find one that you're happy with, that will come close in price to what you're committed to, and present that as the solution (or that you're happy to stay in the original one at the higher price of a single room).
You definitely don't need to pick up anyone else's costs, or sub her the cost of a room - there's an easy solution to the problem, so it's not an 'all or nothing' situation.

It's an easy mistake to make. I'm in my sixties and travel a lot with various groups of friends. I am definitely the odd one out in preferring to pay the extra and have my own room, nearly everyone else expects to share. For this reason I'm always very clear from the start that I want my own space.

For those saying you would absolutely not share rooms, wouldn’t you make that clear up front when planning the trip?

I do agree that the friend is being unreasonable and inflexible though. You’re probably not compatible travel companions.