Holiday plans mess - my fault so suck it up?

I think it’s surprising shes being so stroppy. Regardless of whether it’s reasonable or not to expect to share, it’s a breakdown in communication. No more your fault than hers. I would expect her to share some of the financial burden of correcting the error you made jointly.

It’s no one’s fault. Just lack of communication. My default would be to share a room though.

Your two original suggestions were enough. Cheaper hotel or she pays more.

With your new suggestion of paying for half her room, why does her sister need to come? It’s the same price for her as she originally thought!

I'm really not sure how this is your fault, why on earth didn't your friend think to check if you were OK with sharing? I would never share with friends on a holiday, I snore and more to the point, I value my alone time and privacy and would find it impossible to relax in a shared room. It would ruin a holiday for me.

As your friend is not responding to any of your suggestions and the hotel is pay on arrival with no cancellation fee, I'd let her know that if you don't hear back from her today, you will go ahead and book your own room or hotel as sharing is not an option for you and she has declined to agree to finding alternative accommodation. She is being extremely unreasonable.

Exactly this.

PS - it is NOT entirely your fault. You friend should have checked. It is NOT the default situation. Everyone is different. I wouldn't share either

Fuck it. Go on your own. Your friend is acting like an arse and it will horrible either way. No way you should bankroll her sister either.

Don't understand the reference to paying the increase of the sister's flight. IF you go, then your flight is being used, and you are reimbursing your friend for the cost of the bedroom, because you don't want to share. Fair enough if you want to stay friends. Although she is equally at fault for not checking with you first.

If the sister goes too to share the room, then it is entirely up to her whether she can book her own flight and pay for it, or not.

If you pay your friend your share of the double room then the sister doesn't need to go. That was only suggested because she thought you weren't going presumably, because of sharing?

I do not share except with DH. Sharing with a friend would involve sleep walking, spooning, sleep chatting and nakedness if the room was hot. No one wants that, but it isn't something I would necessarily discuss with them; I just specify that I need my own room.

I must say I'm quite relieved by this discussion.
I started one a few years ago because my cousin wanted to share a bed with me if I couldn't get an extra bed in the hotel room and quite a lot of people implied I was some sort of pampered princess for not being prepared to do this.

I used to share rooms when younger. Happy enough to share a room - with separate beds- if needed. But I do feel happier with my own room as I usually have a few nighttime wee trips.

I think you have made a really great compromise and if she still isn't happy then that is on her!

This isn't your fault. It's a mistake. You've proposed reasonable solutions.

Her response is really cheeky.

She should have told you she’d booked a shared room. She’s now being unreasonable about not considering a cheaper hotel. I suggest you go on your own, book a different hotel, and definitely don’t contribute to the sister.

Nothing much to add except that I feel better about myself seeing so many posters who also don't like sharing. I wasn't that keen when I was younger (but did my fair share of it) but these days I'd rather not go than share a room. However, for that reason I would have made bloody sure I had my own room when the holiday was being discussed.

In the absence of prior discussion I would have assumed separate rooms and would expect someone to check I was happy to share.
It's why I always check and never assume.

She lost all sympathy with me when she tried to be grabby about her sister's air fee.

Fuck her - book your own hotel and say nothing to her.

Ridiculous! Keep your flight and book a hotel far from where she'll be. People in their 50s don't default to sharing a room like 19 year olds would.

The only decent thing for her to do is to agree to a cheaper hotel. I don't mind sharing rooms or even beds, but would be annoyed that she wants me to subsidize her. Of course we all want fancy things but can't always have them...

In the absence of prior discussion, I would have (like your friend) assumed you were sharing a room. It’s something you should have discussed.

This, also definitely don't give her any extra if she uninvites you. You shouldn't be paying anything towards the sister going it was a mistake on both your parts and you're the only one comprimising!

Also, I don't mean to lower the tone... but I want to be able to fart freely if I want to at some point in the day.

I would absolutely hate sharing a room. I'm happy to spend an entire day with friends but need my own space at the end of the day / night / early morning. I think she is being unreasonable and you should stay in a cheaper hotel where you can afford two separate rooms. Why is she deciding where to stay and not you? At the end of the day, isn't seeing the city and being together more important than where you sleep?

I don’t share hotel rooms. I make that very clear because anyone sharing with me has to adapt to my medical needs and it is not easy.

Since she could change hotels but is refusing, I think you are absolved of any financial responsibility.

you should still take your trip, even if you end up traveling solo. It won’t be the same, but don’t take a loss on the flight. Go and enjoy yourself.

I don't particularly like sharing rooms (and certainly not beds), so I'd have had that discussion before any booking took place - given that two rooms is obviously going to be much more expensive than one.
I don't think you should pay part of the sister's share. It's her choice to go.
Consider Air BnB in future - even if there's only one bedroom there's often a sofabed too.

She is being ridiculous. I think it's normal to state that you'd be sharing a room from the outset. I think most friends would not have a problem with this especially as the cost would be higher not sharing but it's still something I would assume would have been mentioned when booking so your friends fault for not mentioning it.
Asking you to pay extra so her sister can go when you are additionally losing out on the cost of the flights is bonkers. WTF?
Her sister going and you going too, and staying in a separate room sounds like the perfect solution.
If she's now gone into thick mode then I think your friend is a bit of a tool bag and I'd let her off.

Absolutely not your responsibility she assumed you were sharing a room, I would never jump to that conclusion and she is being a CF about how to resolve a problem she created.

I'm going on a long weekend with my friend soon and I have totally assumed we will be sharing a room. I should probably check now incase the hotel cost is double what I thought it would be.

In your position... if you're that desperate to be alone then pay half her room and get yourself a new room alone in addition.