Holiday plans mess - my fault so suck it up?

This would be my suggestion

Are there any rooms in that hotel you could book and pay for, for yourself?

I‘m with you, I would definitely not share!! She’s being really difficult to not even consider looking for another hotel.

Book your own hotel and go without her

I think that you're very generous OP as your friend is a cf to even suggest that you pay the difference for her sister's flight,; she should have asked you before booking the room is you were happy to share, stupid not to.

I really don't understand why you've been told to grovel. The answer in a compromise is to book a new cheaper hotel.

Or her sister can book on to share and you can all go together and you can have your own room but u wouldn't be paying anything towards this.

If you'd pulled out totally, I get it for her to be annoyed but you've presented two completely reasonable compromises. It's a bit of fault on both sides about the room you should have both checked it's not just on you.

I agree with this. You should have been clear on arrangements. Sharing on a trip is the norm. On business it’s not so much but I’ve worked at places that did put us up with colleagues. I’d imagine that she budgeted and had expectations and you’ve thrown a wrench. Some people get really upset initially and will calm down if the situation gets resolved fairly.

Tbh OP, I wouldn’t bother going on holiday with her. The fact that she is not responding and acting quite childish about the whole thing, will put me off. I think you should travel alone. If you travel together, it’s going be no fun. The trip is already soured.

@weekendersun book an alternative hotel for yourself and go alone. Your (ex) friend can take her sister and she can pay her own flights. She's the one being unreasonable.

Also - I'm failing to see how her "friend" is trying to salvage the friendship... Quite the contrary I would say. Why is the saving of the friendship entirely on her?

Friends disagree but friends don't ask other friends not to come anymore because they want to stay in a better hotel? Or pay for their sister to come instead?

What an odd answer, she’s not just some person, she’s her friend and sometimes friends disagree.

Am I the only one who feels that I just wouldn't want to go with this person anymore...? She's treated you very badly and is very cheeky. People talking about salvaging friendship but this is not a friendship. If I was her, I would just move to a cheaper hotel and not tell you not to come anymore. How is it a friend or someone who deserves your time and company...? Friendship is about enjoying time together. Sounds like she was just looking for a travel companion for a trip she wanted to make and the hotel she wanted to stay in? I'm in my late 40s and have learnt to eliminate some people from my life. Plus I don't think the trip will feel "right" or nice now whatever you decide to do. I would just go on your own and enjoy

How many hotels even do single rooms?

People are being very generous by paying for two rooms.

While I'm very surprised that a grown adult would assume another grown adult would share a room on a trip, it seems that people actually do.

Neither of you checked the other's preference, so I don't think you should pay the whole price for a mistake you both made.

The obvious solution to me would be two rooms in a cheaper hotel and I don't think you should be penalised for your friend's refusal to do that. It seems she thinks it's OK for to be uncomfortable (sharing) but not for her to be (slightly less nice hotel).

As you were both at fault for not checking, if you want to try to salvage the friendship, I think you could offer to split the extra cost so that you would book your own room and pay 25% of the cost of the one she booked, so both failing to clarify would cost you both equally. Or you could offer to take the double and pay for a single, which as PP say, might not be as nice, for her.

She's being very unreasonable not wanting to change hotels and that would really put me off going with her.

You absolutely do not owe her or her sister anything, it's early enough to sort an alternative but she's being a child.

I'd be petty and book my own hotel and still go. Or lose the flight. Hell would freeze over before I'd reimburse her sister lol.

Your friend can just pay what she thought she was paying. If you offer to pay for both rooms I'm sure that will salvage the friendship but if she accepted that offer she is BU.

That would be very generous of you to pay for a single room for her. I wonder if she will accept, or if she now wants to bring her sister and keep the double? Be careful the sister doesn't tag along and put you in a position where they 'need' the double on arrival! If it's booked in her name it could end up very awkward on arrival?

Friend may also resent you having her nice double, if her room is a small single (possibly in a noisy/less nice part of hotel, without a view etc). Hopefully she'll be appreciative but I'd be wary given her cheeky request over sister's flights

@weekendersun I think that is a good solution. It's a pity she's not taking on some of the responsibiliy for the mix up, but that's fine if you're happy with this idea. She should be fine - she's not losing any cash and you get your own room. Win win.

@weekendersun I think your friend should still pay what she initially thought she was paying for - half a double room. If you choose to book another room and pay for that, then you're being incredibly generous and I don't know how she could take exception to it.

I would be wary of offering her the single room though. They are usually smaller and much less luxurious. If she is still paying her half room, then I would let her have the double.

She asked you not to go so that she could take her sister instead. So her sister will be sharing a room with her. I absolutely would not be paying your half of the room that she's now asked you not to use! Her sister can pay for it herself, along with her own flight cost.

All I'd do now, is what you've said, just quietly book your own hotel, and go and have a lovely trip on your own.

Exactly this
your tickets. You book room for yourself
so send a message in advance of booking room to say “ I am disappointed you assumed, without discussion, that I’d be willing to share a room as this is something I never do. Whilst I understand you wanted to keep your costs low and saw a room share as a cheap option, the room is cancellable and a cheaper option open to you. I am not willing to subsidise your nicer level of room for my own comfort. As I still want to make this trip I will be travelling as planned and stay in a room I’ve found. You can decide that your sister joins you, of course, but I’m not subsidising her flight. Again, if you had discussed your assumptions about room arrangements with me ahead of time that could be avoided.

but you’ll loose a “friend” - however, asking you to make up sister flight difference and loose the cost of your own flight is a big cf in my opinion. No friend lost there

next time, make sure you’re really explicit in no room shares.

You'd be surprised. We are supposed to share on our company annual retreat. For the last five years, I've been telling the admins to book me a separate room and that I will pay the difference, I just can't deal with that. I like my colleagues but, at age 49, need my space and don't want anyone to be talking about my snoring.

I'm team no way to sharing here. I need that decompression time away from other people.

The friend is v v unreasonable to have fallen out with OP just because there are different expectations.