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AIBU?

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Original poster

ExDH new GF posting photos of children

182 replies

Pixie378 · 02/07/2024 09:05

AIBU to ask my ex to ask his GF to removed the photos of our children from Facebook?.
Her profile is public and I do not know her or anyone she knows.
I have not given permission for the photos to be put on her social media and feel that this is disrespectful.
I have asked nicely.

OP posts:
Sweetswede · 05/07/2024 19:37

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Previously banned poster.

"every right"? I can't see why anyone would post photos of someone else's children, especially when a parent has asked them not to.

beetr00 · 05/07/2024 19:35

You are not unreasonable to be concerned @Pixie378

Deutsche Telekom AI manipulation

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/feb/26/son-social-media-parents-children

Original poster
Pixie378 · 05/07/2024 19:21

I also can not message her as she is blocked by me after she messaged me constantly for 2 hours telling me how great he is and I then gave in and told her everything he told her was lie - really was and I was not saying it to be mean.

I was with my ex for 13 years and never once did anything to deserve the nastiness I get from him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pixie378 · 05/07/2024 19:19

I did ask my ex politely for them to be taken down, he told me in very rude language that I should do my research on that and so I did.

I have found an article that states that both parents should come to an agreement on what is acceptable for the kids.
But this won't be possible as my ex does everything to avoid direct action, he also is going out of his way to make things difficult.

OP posts:
Flopsy145 · 05/07/2024 19:16

My DHs ex asked me not to do this the first time I met their child, along with driving him anywhere and a few other things I considered reasonable and still do after having my own children. If you get on with her or have any communication I would perhaps send a light hearted message straight to her, if you don't then message your ex. I don't think it's unreasonable and I would feel the same as you

BurrosTail · 05/07/2024 19:14

Start commenting on every photo “as the mother of these children, I’d like to ask you to take these down immediately, thank you.” You might not be able to prevent her from posting if the father has given permission, but that should put a damper on whatever social attention points she’s seeking by using your kids as a prop.

Original poster
Pixie378 · 05/07/2024 19:04

Hi, no I don't have her on my friends list but she tags him in the post and our joint friends see the post.
I have actually blocked her as I have no interest in seeing their relationship splashed over SM.
My ex is a very selfish man, he will do anything to upset me.
I have never met the woman and she is a stranger to me and I have no idea of her lifestyle choices and who she hangs around with.
If her page was set to private I would not be as concerned but it's public and any weirdo could be stealing the pics of my children.

OP posts:
Sunnydiary · 05/07/2024 19:00

I agree with PP. Assuming the DCs father gave her permission, you can’t do much about it.

ThisZanyPinkSquid · 05/07/2024 18:57

I would say you can ask but assuming father his parental rights and has given permission? Personally I don’t like my kids faces in profile/cover photos as everyone can see them. So maybe speak to both father and new gf and explain this as some people don’t know this.

KrisAkabusi · 05/07/2024 18:52

RoxyRoo2011 · 05/07/2024 18:48

All these people saying if their dad is ok with it it’s nothing to do with you need to give their heads a wobble. They are your children and it is up to BOTH of you to consent to their pictures being on line. If one of you doesn’t agree, it’s a no and there is no negotiation. The girlfriend shouldn’t be doing this. Stand your ground.

That's not how the law works though. In most cases it's enough for one parent to give permission for something to happen.

NewNameNigel · 05/07/2024 18:52

RoxyRoo2011 · 05/07/2024 18:48

All these people saying if their dad is ok with it it’s nothing to do with you need to give their heads a wobble. They are your children and it is up to BOTH of you to consent to their pictures being on line. If one of you doesn’t agree, it’s a no and there is no negotiation. The girlfriend shouldn’t be doing this. Stand your ground.

Sadly that's not how the real world works. There's literally nothing the op can do to "stand her ground" if the dad disagrees with her.

Boobettes · 05/07/2024 18:51

LostTheMarble · 05/07/2024 18:46

MN is amazing at times. Schools require permission from all parents to share pictures, but a woman who may have god knows who on her own friends list is absolutely fine to share pictures of kids that aren’t her own all over social media without any vetting or opinion from their parent? It’s not like treating them to an ice cream and mum’s not happy about it - there are valid concerns here.

The concerns are only valid if the OP says her and her child's dad don't publish photos of their DC either.

Once you publish a photo on the internet, you kiss goodbye to it forever.

And for what? So parents can bask in the glory of all the like and love hearts given to their little darlings.

RoxyRoo2011 · 05/07/2024 18:48

All these people saying if their dad is ok with it it’s nothing to do with you need to give their heads a wobble. They are your children and it is up to BOTH of you to consent to their pictures being on line. If one of you doesn’t agree, it’s a no and there is no negotiation. The girlfriend shouldn’t be doing this. Stand your ground.

MsCactus · 05/07/2024 18:48

LostTheMarble · 05/07/2024 18:46

MN is amazing at times. Schools require permission from all parents to share pictures, but a woman who may have god knows who on her own friends list is absolutely fine to share pictures of kids that aren’t her own all over social media without any vetting or opinion from their parent? It’s not like treating them to an ice cream and mum’s not happy about it - there are valid concerns here.

Yes but if the dad's given permission she has parental consent to post them, so I don't think there's a lot OP can do

I agree btw - think it's dreadful and I don't think she should be allowed to post them

NewNameNigel · 05/07/2024 18:47

Are you friends with her on social media or do you know about the pictures because you decided to seek her out and have a nosey? If it's the latter I don't think approaching her is the right approach and would make you look a bit nuts and very overbearing.
In your position I would agree social media rules for pictures of your children with their dad and leave him to broach the subject with his partner.

LostTheMarble · 05/07/2024 18:46

MN is amazing at times. Schools require permission from all parents to share pictures, but a woman who may have god knows who on her own friends list is absolutely fine to share pictures of kids that aren’t her own all over social media without any vetting or opinion from their parent? It’s not like treating them to an ice cream and mum’s not happy about it - there are valid concerns here.

FatmanandKnobbin · 05/07/2024 18:44

Yanbu to ask, but there's not a lot you can do if the dad says he's happy enough.

rwalker · 05/07/2024 18:42

If the dads happy and given consent all your going to do is cause grief for yourself

and if you mention it how can you justify stalking gf profile

Brandonsflowers · 05/07/2024 18:42

I'd ask her to remove them but I don't have pictures of myself or my kids on social media. ExDH doesn't have pictures of the kids either.

Boobettes · 05/07/2024 18:41

If you and her dad don't post photos on SM then fair enough.

Otherwise I don't see an issue just because she doesn't have your permission, considering the kids haven't given anyone permission either.

Fkintired · 05/07/2024 18:40

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Previously banned poster.

Erm, yes she does. Not her kids.

MrsAllYours · 05/07/2024 18:37

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Previously banned poster.

Devon23 · 05/07/2024 18:37

Well I'm guessing he has given her permission. Its tough and I remember splitting with my children dad but on the plus side she must be proud of them, welcoming them etc and thats got to be a good thing.

Ereyraa · 02/07/2024 11:53

How did you come across it, are you friends online?

TheOtherSide21 · 02/07/2024 11:53

My partner has two kids. We do a LOT with them- and I don't post any pictures of them anywhere.

If I did, and partner's ex wasn't comfortable with it (regardless of my partner's views) I would remove and not repeat. The kids have two parents. Both have a say here, and I don't think you're being unreasonable.