ExDH new GF posting photos of children

Are you serious? They are her children and she might have a view about vacuous and meaningless ‘posts’ about her children

I don’t think it’s unreasonable for you to want this, unless she’s prepared to make them restricted. But even then you don’t know who is on her list. Is she a permanent fixture?

thats bad form of her, I would ask your permission first out of courtesy. Thing is, I guess she could stop and he could being the father tag her in if they then decided to be petty, and that would be difficult to get out of. I guess maybe ask if she can make her profile private, that may help navigate choppy waters?
I am so sorry you’re in this position, it must be a minefield.

Hi
I think it’s more than reasonable. My partner has an open Facebook and I am a teacher, I didn’t like that he was posting family photos that students, colleagues, parents etc could see. He hadn’t even thought about it and just make his Facebook private.

Contact Facebook community standards, tell them this person is not related to your children and is violating their privacy by posting their photos publicly and you want them taken down. Facebook may refuse but no harm in asking.

OP has said she posts photo of her children but only her family can see them, they are not public.

The ages of the children are an issue as well.

YANBU. I ask all family to not post my children on SM. I would hate this OP, hope they can be amicable about this and remove them for you!

I think you’re coming at it from the wrong angle in terms of getting them removed. I think you’re going to struggle and actually it’s your children’s safety and privacy that you care for. I think you need her to realise that it’s better not to post them, but almost come to that conclusion herself,
I’d unblock her and send her a very friendly message. Considering she’s messaged you in the past this wouldn’t be weird imo.
Without accusation just simply educate her on the importance of online safety for children. Which includes ensuring that any photos posted are only visible to those known to you. I wouldn’t give her consent, I’d say your preference is don’t post any photo’s. Tbh there are plenty of articles that expose what some ‘wrong-em’s’ do with images of children on the internet to prove your point. I’d keep your note short, friendly & factual.

Side note, I honestly don’t know why anyone in this day & age would post their kids online at all. I couldn’t imagine showing up to a job interview and my potential boss has seen all my baby pictures.

I agree. Also it’s slightly concerning that she doesn’t understand why you wouldn’t want this.

It asks you every time you post now, so if you have a public profile it’s not an oversight anymore

You're trying to control him, your kids and her. Your kids are not your possessions and he has obviously said it was okay.
Out of respect though I would, if the gf move many page to private

Bet the children haven't given any of them their permission to post pictures.
Nobody thinks of what they might want.

I don't know about the UK, but FB US has a process to request photo removal of your child, 13 and under. This includes hospital patients or anyone with capabilities issues.
Facebook Help Center

There are online forms for reporting. I feel sure you can search from the help page.

If your child is 13 - 17, they have to request it, although you can assist them.

And of course, anyone can ask for their own photos to be removed.

You have every right to do this, even if he gave permission; he may not see the

harm. Child privacy laws mean the request to take photos down should take precedence over someone giving permission.

It is incredibly easy for someone to identify and locate someone from a FB photo. Things like school, club or team photos or t shirts are part of the problem.

They might consider posting photos taken from a distance, the back, or an angle that doesn't show facial features.

Sorry if this is alarms anyone, but taught computer education to elementary-aged students for 14 years. One (true) story I shared every year happened locally. A 13-year-old girl was targeted by a man claiming to be 14. She met him on a teen chat site, and he used photos she sent to identify her location. He arranged to meet her in secret at her house. I guess when she saw he'd catfish her, she changed her mind. Police had been monitoring his activities; he was struggling to pull her out of a second story window when they arrived

I retired in 2018, and I shudder at the thought of all that kids face today.

Yes she does need permission or parents wouldn't have to constantly sign photo permission forms for every school or club etc

If you say she is reasonable and would remove them if asked, then unblock her and ask her.

Stop making a drama out of it. You can re-block her after if you feel the need.

That's how it should be but on mumsnet there seems to be idea that a partner even when they actually marry and become the spouse should never have anything to do with care of the step kids. According to people on here it should always only be the children's 2 parents so step mum should never pick up, drop off,look after, take a picture of the step kids. Even when custody is 50/50 and the children live with dad and step mum for half the week step mum should have nothing to do with the day to day arrangements for the children.
Thankfully most people in real life seem to be much better adjusted adults than some of the loons on here so are able to successfully blend their families without all the drama.

The very least she can do is make them private for safety reasons. That's rubbish about fbs default setting being public and having to change it each time. She needs to change her privacy settings. Nobody with a brain shares any photos publicly on their profile.

If the gf is only looking at being a parking space for the man then fair enough.
However if i found myself suddenly single any partner would have to be willing to step up for my kids or i would have no interest. Yes this gf wouldnt be mum and no she wouldnt be meeting the kids on the first date and be expected to look after them solo, but after a time she would be going on joint trips to the zoo, out to the park, holidays and if she did not try and interact with my children she would be out the door. I wouldnt miss her.

You’re a stepmum though, don’t you know that on MN we are all insecure, overstepping, terrible people, who are terminally jealous and have been tricked into raising our husbands kids when actually we should ignore them as they are not our family and just “someone else’s children?” 🙈😂

Luckily I’ve never met anyone in real life like this and most blended families I know are also perfectly happy, including my adult friends who grew up in blended environments.

Well for example if we go on holdiday and get a family pic, should I ask DSC to get out of photo, or crop them out? Lots of blended families are secure and happy. I’m proud of my family…same reasons why anyone posts pics

Really? I post pics of DSC with their permission as I do with my own child. I think it would be odd not to as they are there half the time and we do everything together. I think it would send a weird message if I only posted photos of my own child…like pretending they don’t exist. Their mum’s DP posts also.

the only reasonable thing to do is to ask is to take off public, but it sounds like it might be set to friends tagged rather than public

Commenting under photos as their mum telling her to take them down (without discussion even) is absolutely terrible advice

I think a combination of what others have suggested here. Unblock her, and comment under each photo of your kids:

"Ella and Isaac's Mum here. Please could you change your privacy settings to friends only, so that strangers on the Internet don't have open access to pictures of my children, or else just take them down. I would really appreciate it. It makes me uncomfortable and concerned that you are sharing photos of them that anyone could find on the Internet. [share link others have shared about that terrifying youtube video]."

Keep doing it on every photo. If she blocks you, make a new account and repeat, since these pictures are openly on her profile for anyone. Keep doing it. Be polite, direct, reasonable.