To be surprised there are a lot more very anxious/fearful people out there than I thought?

Wow, how clever are you. No one would have known unless you had pointed it out. With exclamation marks. Although not clever enough to know how MN works. It’s a forum for opinions, asking questions etc.

Is doesn't take many ounces of empthy to realise everyone is different, and what may seem inconsequential to you, could be experienced very differently by someone else.

I encounter loads of attitudes on MN that I never see in real life. This forum is not representative of the population at large.

I think it's partly how much imagination you have and forward thinking. Some people live very much in the moment and don't think much about what might happen in the future. Some people think about the future and all the possible things that might happen, including a lot of bad outcomes (obsessively sometimes). The rest are somewhere in between.

But how did the extroverts find you? And isn't it a bit irritating/inconsiderate for them to keep badgering you if you're acting like you don't want to be friends? Wouldn't that just make you retreat further?
I'm not trying to be argumentative, in case it comes across that way. I really want to understand cos I am also someone who'd be there for friends at 3am but struggle to make the good deep friendships you talk of (and where I have, it has started with putting myself out there at social events).

As for my friend trusting her friends enough to be able to take the mask of for a minute - that's kind of my point. If she was comfortable enough to do that, around good friends, how can she be socially anxious in that moment? I could understand if she was whispering it to one friend in a crowd of strangers, but surrounded by friends, it seems odd. Similarly with not being ashamed - I struggle with social anxiety. Take away the shame, and the self-consciousness and anxiety disappear (obviously far easier said than done!)
Makes me wonder if there are very different types of social anxiety, caused by different things. For me social anxiety is literally the opposite of feeling comfortable and confident around people, so it's impossible to feel both at the same time. Perhaps there is a different type that works differently?

Self-selecting crowd. Those scared of real life would rather go online – obviously not saying all online users are like this!

Also the crowd with the most extreme views (eg against men) spends the most time / posts the most prolifically on here

I laughed at the "you must be a man because you don't agree with me" – that's part of Mumsnet bingo imo (and no I'm not a man)

It’s not nasty at all. It’s a perfectly valid response to the tone of the OP. ‘I’ve got cptsd and have conquered it so I am not bothered by the trivial things that bother you and do not understand why you are so suspicious when it’ll probably all be fine’. Of course people are going to take umbrage that. It implies that they are weaker than the OP for not having managed to conquer their own issues and that their concerns are silly and ridiculous.

Also, I like your username. It has popped out on a couple of threads recently and there’s a saying about people in glass houses that springs to mind.

It is possible to come through trauma and live a life free from fear, nothing nasty about that

I do think OPs post could be read as lacking empathy, even if that wasn't the overall intention.

Op your post was very clear. You’ve just hit a sore spot with some posters, so they will attack you

I did NOT comment on the OPs post, so you do not know my view on this, so do not assume to. How arrogant of you to do so.
I merely pointed out that your response was nasty.

For most people on here , not opening the front door isn't about anxiety - it's about not wanting to be disturbed by random people.

If you've ever lived in a city or busy area - or a block of flats - you get so many people knocking that are not welcome and take so much time if you open the door or start engaging on the intacom.

It's so annoying having to deal with what is basically 'spam' - other people do not automatically get access to your time.

Personally I am not an anxious person at all, it never really occurs to me that I might be kidnapped or similar. I am quite relaxed on a daily basis. However, I don't like to open my door or chat to random people because I feel no need to and I'm not interested in building soft relationships or being part of a community. It has nothing to do with anxiety, I just like living my own life with the people around me who are important and feel no need to involve myself with anyone who isn't. It would be a mistake to attribute many behaviours to anxiety because that isn't the root for most people.

I honestly think there’s a difference between having anxiety (due to things having happened to them or not) and a lot of the things people on MN often seem utterly petrified of. Sometimes it’s just down to emotive language as well. As others have said I think it can be very odd some of the things people seem to be scared of. And no, I’m not belittling any genuine issues people may have before people ascend their high horses.

But you don't think it is nasty that op implies that, because they were able to overcome their problems that everybody else should also be able to do so, and not be anxious? I'm afraid that makes both of you quite nasty people. And yes, it makes me angry because if people were able to easily let go of their anxiety don't you think that they would?

Judging the number of "thanks" on the post you quoted, I'm not the only one who is reading OPs judgemental, superior tone exactly as it is.

Their faux "I just want to understand..." is goady and not genuine, and he/she knows it.

Why? I merely pointed out that your response was nasty, as was another PPs

Look in the mirror.

Sedentary lifestyles don't help. When we're stressed, our bodies get us ready to move. Often we sit instead. That's why exercise and movement help us to deal with stress and anxiety.

During the pandemic, the government ramped up the fear to make us all stressed and anxious to comply with all the rules and regulations. When it was over, there was no de-escalation of it, leaving many people living in a state of anxiety.

I don’t think MN is very representative of the population at large, on pretty much anything.

Another nasty response

You're all out this morning

Not this again about not answering the door.

We don't all live in Enid Blyton style villages. There have been several robberies in my area where burglars have just barged into the house when the door is opened. I do open my door, but only because I have a metal security gate on it. This was fitted by the previous owners, who had had their front door kicked in in broad daylight and burgled. I used to live in a flat with no security gate. I opened it one evening and a guy, off his head, tried to step into the flat.

I live in a pretty average area of London.

I have travelled the world by myself, I have done a lot of things others wouldn't do. I am still wary of opening the front door.

What I find really bizarre is the amount of posters who struggle with anxiety, and/or have a real "pull up the drawbridge" mentality, but still seem to have full lives, plenty of friends, partners/children. Like, how did you make/keep so many friends? Why are people still in touch if you never answer the phone or want to meet up? I've had to make a real effort to put myself out there and invest in friendships, battling anxiety, to make sure I don't end up totally isolated Extroverts found me, liked me and wouldn’t leave me alone until we were friends. That’s essentially it. And they love me enough to accept me for the antisocial introvert I am. No, I can’t always do parties or bbqs, but they know I’d be there at 3am if they needed me. And vice versa. I’m lucky.

I actually know someone like this irl, and still can't work it out. Doesn't like to speak on the phone because of anxiety. At a social event (surrounded by good friends) saying she was struggling with social anxiety at that moment - which made no sense to me, if I'm feeling socially anxious I'm sure as hell too anxious to mention it and just trying to blend in and act normal! But she has plenty of friends, good, deep friendships, and an interesting career where she has to really put herself out there. (Having got to know her better, I'm sure it's not attention seeking, just it doesn't make sense how it works!) People have different coping strategies. Lots of us can put a mask on and pretend to be the life and soul of the party. Especially when we’re forced to do it. Some of my colleagues would be astounded to know that if I’m talking to them, it’s because everything I’ve tried to get out of it has failed. She obviously trusts her friends enough to be able to take that mask off for a minute. Or, she’s simply not ashamed of having something that millions of us suffer with.

What a nasty thing to say