Giving house to step-daughter?

I think the answer is in your original post.

To you, she is your daughter. Why wouldn’t you help her if you can?

I think the best thing is to ask your step daughter what area they'll be looking in and you'll then be able to see what they'd be able to buy for different amounts on Rightmove.

I think that's the only way to get a real idea of the costs.

Leave it to who you want it to. Your niece and nephew aren’t entitled to your money, and I’m not sure why you need to ‘compromise’ over your own assets.

Your niece and nephew have their own parents and grandparents to leave them a decent sized legacy if they want to. You can leave them a small legacy in your will which I am sure they would appreciate in due course.

If your stepdaughter was your blood daughter ( can’t think of another way to put it) there would be no question that she would be the major beneficiary of your estate, if you can afford it in terms of your pension then I think giving her the value of the second house makes sense. I would do it soon, partly because they have a current need, but also because a change of government is imminent and who knows what will be brought in re housing and private letting!

I would take some advice though re the tax implications of your gift, both for you and your stepdaughter.

OP, how about if you suggest to your parents that they will your share of the inheritance they leave directly to their own grandchildren. So half to your sibling and half between the grandchildren. In that way your nephew and niece will get some money sooner than from you. You can feel no guilt and your parents may be satisfied?

I would not give your step daughter all the profit. If you really want to give her financial help then sell the house, give her £80,000 and then invest the rest for your later life or buy a buy to let or holiday home that the whole family can enjoy.

An £80,000 deposit help to you DSD is a wonderful gift and will allow them to get a wonderful home. Please don’t give away the entire amount or even half of it as no one knows what is around the corner. The proceeds of your house will provide you and your husband with security and options in later life.

Could you split your will three ways, between your DSD, niece and nephew.

I think this is an excellent idea.

OP doesn't have to give her niece and nephew anything! And actually, they don't even know anything about this. It's only OPs parents making a fuss . No idea why she even told them.

Personally I'd be more concerned about OP's own finances but also whether this gift will have the impact she thinks it will based on the desired house.

I would certainly make her the main beneficiary of my will in that scenario, but would keep the money for my own retirement as they have more than the means to buy a good sized house themselves.

This has probably been suggested already, but I haven’t read all the thread! You could give the proceeds of your house to your sd, as you feel her need is greatest, atm and then £300,000 from the sale of your house with your dh, when the time comes, could be split between your niece and nephew, the rest going to your sd?

In which case he should be able to hit 200K pretty easily. And your step daughter depending on her exact role can always move to the private sector to earn more if she wishes. Bear in mind tho that equity researchers can be especially vulnerable to redundancy - at times when the entire sector faces a downturn so it might be hard to find an equivalent role immediately

I think it's doable as long as all parties are clear and have planned for every possible scenario.

Also not sure why PP are talking about ringfencing. After a certain length of marriage it becomes harder to argue for separate assets. Especially as his big salary will be covering a lot of the mortgage

@IsMadl
Hey OP, I found your posts really moving. It is clear to see how much you care for your step daughter. Being someone who lives in London with children (in a flat with no garden) I would say that money would be life changing for your family. Obviously I don't know where they live but I am in zone 2 in south east london and you could get a 4 bed for that money here near good schools.

You are clearly a considerate and risk averse person and have not taken this decision lightly. I would proceed in your shoes.

A comment on your parents, I think their opinion is very cruel. Blood relative nonsense. You could not have a child 'by blood'. Your daughter, which she is, you have raised her, IS your relative. The fact is that she has also lost her 'blood' mum so no doubt sees you as her mum. I find it really heartless of them to undermine and diminish this very beautiful and sincere relationship between you. How dare they?

You could not have biological children. Your daughter lost her biological mum. You being in eachother's lives is beautiful.

I would say do it. ❤️

Some odd replies here.

I think it's a wonderful thing to do- she is your daughter, and it is your house, if you want to sell it for her that is your right and your decision. Seek legal advice to ringfence if something goes wrong with your partner or hers, but I think it's a lovely thing to do.

Whether or not she's entitled (I don't think she is btw) or the property she wants in London will cost more than she thinks is neither here nor there with regards to your question.

OP if your SD's Mum died when she was 7 and you've been her Mum since she was 10 then you are her Mum and she's your DD. You don't have to be blood related to love a child. I have a foster son I've cared for since he was 5. He'll inherit from both me and DH along with my 3 DC from previous marriage. He may not be blood related but he feels like my own child. I expect you feel the same about DSD. If your DD has DC I expect you'd be their Nan. I think it makes perfect sense to gift the money to a SD that has enriched your life for many years.

OP I think people are reading it that you are selling your house and then giving all of the proceeds to your DSD?
From what I understand it would be the profit from the sale? Which means you would still have a pretty big lump sump which you could invest for your future.
However, it’s good to think contingencies. If you or your DH had to stop working that throws a grenade into finances.
Also is there a provision for you in your DH’s will about what happens if he goes first? If the home you share goes directly to his daughter what provisions have been made for you? While you have a wonderful relationship with her, you really need something secure and on paper.
As much as you want to help her, personally I would not sell a home that is providing a good income stream which will increase in value. Is there a way you could help out each month without touching the capital?
Whatever you decide, it’s your choice and nothing to do with your parents or siblings. I can understand your parents’ concerns, but at the end of the day, it’s your money.

Why does she need to leave anything to her siblings kids? They have parents, fuck they even have grand parents

i don’t like the way that the GP think that you HAVE to leave your money to their other child rather than to your own marriage/family unit @IsMadl

Also babies don't care much where they sleep, it'll be a few years yet before they're of school going age.

One also doesn't know what issues they may have, so many kids have SEN these days (I'm ND myself) what happens if one parent has to quit work?

The sums have to be done carefully.

Unless her husband comes up with another 300K in which case carry on.

Also OP they're earning 150K joint? That's a very low salary from him working in finance... Is hers much lower? Say, 50K to his 100K. Or 30K to 120K. Which would be more normal.
Investment banking grads start on 100K and other front/middle office roles 80K, heck even software developers for firms like UBS start on 80K.

You have to remember that even with your deposit, they still have to pay the mortgage. Borrowing to the max will cost a lot on those incomes and also, what if he loses his high paying job?

I don’t think it is a good idea tbh Op.
I know that you mean well, but recent experience has shown me that life can throw a few curve balls when it comes to issues to do with money/ wills etc
My cousin is a wills and probate lawyer and her advice is to always think of the worst possible scenario and have these things in mind when dealing with financial issues.
As others have pointed out ,your dss’ marriage may not last or even your own.
There is also ill health , conflict etc.
If you want to leave her something in your will , that is fine, but I wouldn’t advise you to sell your property to give her a deposit for a house

Depends which zone they want to live. If they don’t mind zone 4+ they could do it for 1.2. But 200k won’t make much dent in that will it?

I think your desire to help is lovely. I also am fairly confident that the type of place you describe will be well over a million down here. I count myself incredibly lucky to be late 30s and just managed to get a mortgage on a two-bed flat in a shitty grim area of London, that cost the same as your house you're considering selling... London is very very different.

It's not that she's entitled - I too, really really want a place with a garden, and ideally a street that's not full of drug addicts and drunks

If you can help her get to it, that's wonderful. But there are also lessons in patience and acceptance - if she can get on the property ladder at all (which she can with her deposit) they can upsize... it's not standard for a 27 year old to immediately go into their ideal home-owning scenario.

I’m don’t have a stepdaughter but I have experienced tragic loss (my own dd) and imagine she has been through an awful time losing her mum at such a young age.

Honestly, ignore all of the people including your parents who have questioned this. If your parents or siblings (if they find out), complain I would ask why they are being so grabby, explain it is your money and you treat SD as you would your own biological child. It is your money to do as you wish with. These reactions would actually spur me on to act asap and watch the enjoyment this money would give SD and her young family. You are very generous.

I think you sound lovely OP and do think your DSD should be the recipient of your house. You don't sound materialistic so hopefully if your parents leave you out of their will, which I think will happen, it won't bother you too much. I have a SN who came into our lives when he was 6, he is considered by all the family as ours, we love him as much as the blood nieces and nephews. Your parents have missed out alot by not trying to engage with your SD, she sounds lovely. She is your family, you have helped raise her, been her mum. Good luck