Giving house to step-daughter?

Can I just say, that regardless of whether you give your child money towards her house or not, you are a wonderful step mother. I am sure that her mother would have been so relieved that if she absolutely had to go, that her daughter, who I’m sure she loved so much, got someone who loves her like you have and do. Your post has been so lovely to read and I know you are not sure what is happening ref their need for deposit help, but you are a wonderful parental influence and she is incredibly lucky to have you, as are you to have her. As far as I can see, you may not have parented a baby but you have done your best for a child from 10 and up and I hope you have the best summers with your grand baby - whether they have a trampoline in a nice London street or not!!

Ditto, I agree with this. Talking about not wanting to raise her child in a flat????
Irrespective of the past circumstances, your SD seems very privileged. I am pleased that you have had a happy life together and your SD is now happily married; wonderful news all around. The financial position of your SD is extremely privileged. I fully understand that you consider her your own and love her as such; that is perfectly understandable.
She is your daughter. How close are you to your niece and nephew and what is their financial predicament? .
Of course it is your money and your decision. Ultimately, it comes down to you.
Wishing you well in making your decision, irrespective of your parents' views

Think of the worst scenario. After selling and giving the money to your stepdaughter, you get divorced (for whatever reason, it happens). Would you regret selling your house?

Dd2 and her dh bought their first home a couple of years ago - she was 28 and he was 30 - when they were expecting their first baby. It was £1.5 million and needed completely gutting. They expect it will be their forever home.

Ahhh, OP, this is lovely. I have a SS12 and have been in his life since 1.5 years old. I had a house I sold to buy the house we (me and his father) currently own when we married. My nephews will get some money each should I pass, but the house will go to DH and/or his son. His mum is still very much alive, but I love him like my own having had no children of my own either so feel the same as you, he’s a fantastic kid. I think it’s wonderful.

Lovely thing to do. My step dad is very similar, never had children, treats me and my children as his own, pays my children dividends out his family trust fund twice a year just like his brothers grandchildren get. One of his brothers did make a fuss about them not being blood relatives but he soon shut them down. I think it would be sensible to maybe give SD half the profit from the house or £200k, just so you have a lovely safety net which she or your niece/ nephew will benefit from at your passing.

And this is why we need to push back on wicked step mother ideas. How lovely of you, and what a testament to real love which is not only based on blood relations.

This is all lovely but your daughter could look in slightly cheaper areas of London, servicing that amount of debt would stress me out a lot. We have a higher household income, are older and bought a less expensive house than either of those.

It's not your parents business frankly.

I can honestly say I never expected to inherit anything from anyone expect my parents (certainly not my child free aunts/uncles) and if I did I would expect it to be small tokens like jewellery or photos not money or property.

If you view step daughter as your then daughter trumps niece/nephew. If you had adopted a child would you parents refuse to accept them too? What if you had donor egg IVF? families are built in so many ways that 'blood' means nothing.

I think it’s a lovely idea, you and your step daughter obviously think the world of each other! You do whatever you feel is right but you both sound lucky to have each other in your life! Good luck with the grandbaby. X

That’s incredible that you and DH are retired and have pensions which are as much as their take home pay (must be over £100,000) plus a mortgage free house!

Do you mind me asking how you managed that to pick up some tips please? (I know you have an NHS and a teacher’s pension but surely they would be nowhere near that sum).

You sound like a totally beautiful person. If you chose to do it that would be wonderful. But please protect your stepdaughter by making sure these funds are a gift to her that can be protected.

I would help her out, keep some aside for grandbaby, your grandma experience will be so much nicer if you have a guestroom x

This is a lovely idea . I’m sad for your stepdaughter ( actually I’m going to scrap that and say daughter as clearly you have been a mother to her , she lost her mother and it sounds like you have done her mother proud ). I’m sad for your daughter that your family are using terms like “ blood related “. Blood doesn’t mean that someone will mean more to you. Your niece and nephew have parents . If they had a house to give they would get it . You and her dad are your daughter’s parents and all she has . I think you would be doing the right thing.

I have a “ stepdaughter” . She’s an adult now. I was with her dad 2 years when she was little and her dad had full custody. Her mother is in her life but she always lived with her dad . When we split she was 4 and I had her regularly for her whole life , as though she was my own. She’s 21 now and still calls me mum . I do have my own children and a husband ( she was my maid of honour at my wedding when she was 15 ) but she is my child like my biological children are and would be treated the same when it came to assists etc . No one has ever dared say to me that she is not blood and I would shoot them down if they did. She’s my little girl .

I always say to her “ I didn’t carry you in my belly , I carried you in my heart instead “ ❤️

I would suggest they wait before heading for a 4 bed terrace house in London. There has just been a change of government and it is unclear what will happen to house prices. They have been soaring in London and become unaffordable for many. So I would advise to watch and wait...... I should add I live in London and my 28yr old son and his girlfriend are renting atm. They too are saving and waiting for a hopeful downturn in the market

OP I think your an amazing step mother and will be a fantastic granny. I personally don't think it's any of your parents business what you decide to do with your money. I am not even sure I would be giving any to nieces and nephews in your position. They have there own parents to inherit from though please correct me if I am wrong.

Give your step daughter and grandchild the start in life they need. It will make a phenomenal difference to your grandchild's life having a nice house with a nice garden and to your step daughter and her husband.

Having had a toddler living in a flat I can truly say it wasn't great. Thankfully we managed to buy a small house when DC1 was 3. I now own a large 3 bed house and my other kids have had a garden as a toddler. They loved it. They have a fabulous play area in a garden with a 6ft fence and padlocked gate. I have the knowledge of knowing my kids can run out play safely in their garden at any point.

You sound like an amazing parent to your step daughter and I am sure will be an amazing grand parent.

How about taking some of the equity out of the house (say 150k) and getting a buy to let interest only loan. Then you have helped her out but you keep hold of an asset that will continue to appreciate, that you can leave to whoever you want.

I don't even know why you're asking us - your money, your choice. Obviously do your research re tax/legal implications and off you go.

I’m in two minds. You sell this and you don’t have any back up. Neither for you, or your daughter. The partners in finance. They will be just dandy.

Sure they might have to work their way up the ladder. But so does everyone. It’s part of the joy of it. And I say that coming from a family with millions worth of property assets. Would I enjoy my house as much if my parents just bought it for us. No. I have done it off my own back and it makes it all the more special. I want to contribute to the wealth of our family not drain it.

You don't think your mum and dad have told the niece and nephew or their parents?

It’s your money , do as you want with it although be prepared for your parents to leave everything to your sibling / their children as they obviously don’t see your step daughter as family .

DH and I have already said we will pay all childcare costs

Why? I mean it's up to you but what if they have 4 kids?

What are you niece and nephews position like OP? Are they struggling alot?

Maybe an idea could be to split it 3 ways with Sd getting a bigger portion of money to help her out now.?

That is indeed a fortunate young couple. I wish I could give even a small fraction of that to my children.

Very best wishes with your grandchild - your excitement is palpable!

I agree it would be a mad reckless thing to do. You have no idea what the future holds.