Giving house to step-daughter?

I would sell and give her half the money, so £150,000 ish. Which is still a huge amount and you still have money for yourself if anything was to happen, divorce, needing major surgery (going private), lovely holidays, a better pension pot etc)

I would keep £50,000 for you, £50,000 each for niece and nephew and the remainder (minus fees) to SD.
That way you are matching what she already has.
I would also ask that any contribution is ring fenced so that in the event of a divorce she is protected.

I don’t agree that your blood relatives have any more rights over the house than your step daughter and tbh I don’t think it’s any of your families business anyway. you’ve looked after your SD for so many years surely you are closer to her

However
I wouldn’t sell it and give the money to her now as you have no idea what the future holds for you. What happens if you split from your dh, these things do happen.

Keep your house and leave it to your SD in your will. I wouldn’t tell anyone what’s in your will though it’s none of their business.

I suppose it depends on how much your niece and nephews have/will have. If they are set for a nice inheritance from their parents, fair enough. If not, I'd rethink.

I have a DSD who will inherit from both her dad and her mum. I also have 3 nieces who will not inherit from my sister. Therefore, half of our estate goes to my nieces.

I agree with you. One concern I have is her parents leaking the original plan to the niece and nephew to cause conflict within the family. It shouldn’t stop OP but it’s something to think about and maybe plan for. Hopefully her parents will not stoop that low.

OP should also consider still gifting her niece and nephew something, maybe split it across 3 of them or something.

You could make a smaller gift of say 25k each to niece and nephew, 200k to stepdaughter and keep 50k for yourself.

Things to consider are - whether you are putting your own financial stability at risk (pensions don't go far, you get divorced etc), whether your SD has good financial sense (how much of the 150k has she got left, did she spend 20k on wedding vs 75k etc) and what happens if your SD gets divorced.

This is a perfect example of why you never ever share the contents of your will or any financial details with anyone but your partner and even then I would say there are some cases where not advisable though a minority.

I would probably sell if I could afford to give all or most of the money away but really look at my own situation first. Half to SD and then 25% to each niece and nephew.

OP, you sound like a fantastic stepmum. Your stepdaughter is lucky to have you. Your parents need to mind their own business.

I would split it three ways - say you get 300,000 total.

I'd keep 50,000 in a high interest savings account for yourself - a little bit of future proofing.

Give your niece and nephew 25,000 each - you didn't say what age they are but either given directly or put in a savings account for when they become adults.

That's a very nice chunk of money to get from an aunt. And giving it them now means you have the pleasure of helping them earlier in their lives.

Give your step-daughter $200,000 towards her deposit - that's a very nice lump sum and will help a lot. It's a very lovely thing to do. But as a PP said - try to see if there's a way to ring fence it for her own benefit in case something happens to her DH.

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You could give the lion’s share to your stepdaughter and keep some savings which could pass to your niece and nephew.

Are you saying you want to give her this now rather than in your will? Sorry but that's a bad idea. I don't think pensioners have a very bright future, care costs are huge and that house could make an enormous difference for you. As a teacher, you have a good pension but by no means excellent or keeping up with inflation. She already has 150k, her partner works in finance. Give her a cash gift but to give the majority of what you make from.selling that house now is bonkers.

How close are you to your niece and nephew?

I'm concerned that your parents might blab to your siblings, if they know that you originally planned to leave your house to your niece and nephew.

They're their grandparents so they love them, and of course they want the best for them and might be upset that you've changed your mind.
(If they didn't know of your original intention, then they've less reason to be upset though).

My grandma side suggests that you do as a pp said, and give two thirds to your SD and split the other third with the niece and nephew. There's no reason for you to have to, but, assuming they're decent people, it'd be a nice gesture.

My late husband's aunt has me in her will, and is being as generous to me as she is to her niece by blood. I find that really touching. I'd never have expected it.

This is your property. You decide who it goes to.

Remove all the noise of your parents and the blood family etc from the question. They are unreasonable. In your case - being with a motherless child since she was 10 and married to her dad for more than 10 years with no other children - if you were my child, I'd presume you were likely to leave anything you had to her.

Your stepdaughter is close to you. Ask yourself how best to structure your finances to support her while protecting her. As in, don't just hand over the proceeds of your house. Figure out how to give it to her so if she and her dh divorce she is protected and you are protected. I wouldn't give my children a deposit that big without having some legal counsel about how to ringfence the money for her - and for you.

Definitely do it. See if it could be ring fenced incase of divorce though.

I agree with this — sell up and share it out with the majority going to your step daughter.

What the fuck has it got to do with your parents?

This is who you consider to be your daughter. Your parents not recognising this are utterly disrespectful.

I am willing to be you don't see your niece and nephew as often as your daughter. And you don't have a relationship as close.

As for the biological bit. Wow.

Say to save on arguments you are now going to donate your estate to a cat charity. And see how they react.

I would take advice from a solicitor before going through with the plans you have outlined.

https://solicitors.lawsociety.org.uk/

I think I would give the majority to my SD but give a token small amount to both niece and nephew (unless they are terrible people). I would also (if I had the means and opportunity) do this for them all whilst they are young enough to really appreciate the help rather than them be at retirement age themselves (hopefully they won't need a helping hand by that time in their lives) ..

It’s your legacy. Do what makes you happy.

Perhaps a compromise would be to give SD £200,000 from the sale of the house. Invest the other £100,000 as a back up should you need it, but if you don’t use it, it goes to your niece & nephew.

Yeah I wasn't making any reference to losing her Mum, I know that's an awful thing. I was just simply saying she isn't in a bad place financially, it's more of a deposit than most people have. Regardless of where it came from.

Most people don’t lose their mother at 7, thankfully.

I think helping her out sounds a lovely thing to do - and I agree with a previous poster that she sounds a more natural recipient than your niece and nephew.

It's lovely, but also it doesn't sound like your SD is in a bad place financially if she received £150k. That's more than most people get.

What a lovely thing to do OP. It’s heartwarming to hear of a positive step-parent relationship. Your DPs sound unpleasant by their reaction. My uncle is adopted and therefore not a blood relative but we have never viewed him as anything but a family member and we would all be horrified if anyone took this view. I’m sorry your DPs don’t support your relationship with SD.

I think your SD sounds like a more natural recipient than your niece and nephew. Very lovely to read this angle on step-relationships.