Giving house to step-daughter?

It's not hostile it's honest. I didn't bring niece and nephew into it, the OP did by promising the house to her niece and nephew the house after her death and not staying quiet on the matter. If you are open about the fact such and such is going to inherit £300k in your will then change your mind, that's needless causing drama. It's literally the basis of a good number of Agatha Christie's books and subsequent dramas thereafter.

There will be a motivation "wanting to help" is not a motivation. The honest explanation of why she wants to help at the expense of promised legacies to her niece and nephew (not to mention annoying her parents) is where the motivation really sits. I'm not keen on the parents 'blood is thicker than water' viewpoint, but if the OP only has a £300k house due to considerable support from her parents, they might view it as a family asset. It's incredibly naive for the OP not to appreciate all this.

The stepdaughter is not struggling and out on the streets, so why now? She doesn't seem to have thought how step daughter would feel about it either. Accepting such a large gift does put huge obligation on a person to a point of it being a curse. And how would OP feel if stepdaughter and her partner split up and he rides into the night with half OP's money?

Looking at this thread perhaps most people are naive about money, and just think throwing around lots of money makes the world better with absolutely no unintended consequences. My experience with high net worth individuals suggests that not the case.

That’s a weirdly hostile take on it. Why would she include her niece and nephew at all? They have their own parents to inherit from. She intends to leave it to the person she has raised and considers to be her daughter, which is entirely normal.

If someone other than OP has offered the niece and nephew OP’s house then any fallout from that is on them.

Keep your house. Divide it amongst your sd, niece and nephew in your will. Your sd already has 150,000 from her mum. She will get the house from her dad. Perhaps her dad could sell his house, that you both live in now, and give his dd the cash she needs. You could then both (you and your dh) live in your house.

Not unreasonable. She is your daughter! How lovely to be able to do that for her. Well done you for being such a great step mum ❤️

The first question is do you really have enough of a pension, especially if you and your partner were to separate or in the case of him dying before you? You're parents are still alive so you cannot be that old and the world is becoming a tougher and tougher place economically. If £300k is more than a third of your total assets (including pension and excluding partner's assets) then giving it away is madness and you need to stop this line of conversation. But let's say you are wealthy and £300k is less than a third of your total assets. Fine maybe you can afford to be generous.

The bit that seems most bizarre is why toy with the idea of giving this property away and talking about it out loud, to partner and parents, well before getting to the point of selling it/dying? There has clearly been previous discussions about niece and nephew and now you are touting the idea of giving it to step daughter. You either like the power of being holder and bestower of wealth or you are keen to be seen as a 'generous and nice' person, or both. There is no need to be talking to everyone about this and getting hopes up. You really can't know that your niece and nephew haven't been given the wink that this house is thiers (might explain your parents' resistance.) This has needless family drama written all over it, simply because you enjoy imagining whose life you're going improve in your god-like gifting of £300k. Now you are telling the internet about it for extra feels.

Which brings me to my third point. Why chose one? It's not a game show. Why not give each of them, niece, nephew and step-daughter £100k? SD has had a helping hand of £150k already, which as a northern teacher, you will know is A LOT of money. Another £100k would still mean inheritance of £250k- an amount most of us can only dream of. SD would not be hard done by. Come on. Are you trying to buy your way into role of grandma or obligate SD into a close relationship with you? Perhaps you want to impress/win over your partner by gifting money to his child?

So yes, I'm sorry to be a party pooper but you really need to consider your motivation here. Nobody is 100% altruistic. Even the Dalai Lama is hoping for better afterlife. What is your real reason for wanting to gift £300k to your SD at the exclusion of your niece and nephew? Be honest with yourself.

Yes, me, I am jealous. Unashamedly so. She is a very, very lucky girl to have you in her life. I wish my parents had been in the position to give me this sort of opportunity.

One word of caution - if she has the money now it really needs to be invested properly and if not in bricks and mortar then in some sort of high interest, high return scheme. Having that sort of money sitting in a bank account is a waste and you run the risk of squandering it. While the house is there and earning money it is a true asset. Is the rent from the house sufficient to cover the mortgage on any new house your step-daughter may buy. Its nice to own somewhere outright, but aren't there some tax benefits to having a mortgage? and do they outweigh the amount of interest you have to pay? All these things need looking at very carefully by a qualified IFA and any decision reached should be made after consulting a solicitor who specializes in this sort of thing.

You would need to check how much would be left after Capital Gains Tax (now) and balance that against Inheritance Tax (after you die). That is a minefield.

At the end of the day you must do what feels right for you, but don't do anything in haste that you might regret later. By doing the wrong thing now your step-daughter and family might lose out on 10s of thousands of pounds in the future, which is money that could be put towards your grandchild's education.

Or you could directly gift her the house and as long as u live (sorry) 7more years there will be not CGT. When it becomes her asset and when she sells it she might have to pay a very small amount if the house price increases significantly and it’s over the personal CGT allowance. Probably the best tax efficient and most cash able way to give her the money

Any chance your parents have told either your siblings or your niece/nephew about your previous plans and that's why they're so against the idea? Sounds like they never accepted the idea of having a step granddaughter so it might just be that.

Niece and nephew will inherit from grandparents and parents. Don't give them a second thought

What a lovely thing to do. Ignore your parents. She is your child in your eyes and that’s all that matters. You are a great human xx

I think there are some very jealous people on this thread, OP, and that you are truly lovely.

do what feels right for you - I know I absolutely will not be donating our inheritance to charity but making a better life for my children, which is what most loving parents do.

i truly wish you all, all the best. You all sound very lovely 💕

There will be Capital Gains to pay on the house if you choose to sell, if it’s left in you’re will to SD there won’t be any. Only inheritance tax if above a certain amount.
you need to live 7yrs past you’re gifting any money else it will be included in you’re inheritance.
SD is classed as direct descendant and anything left to her in your will has a higher threshold for amount left. Neices & Newphews don’t count as direct descendants.
you can get a free consultation with any solicitor who can outline this & more regarding you’re estate - now or when u pass. Might help make decisions clearer.

This sounds very generous and kind. And a great way of setting up your step daughter/grandchild for life. But you need to get legal and tax advice. By selling the property you will have to pay CGT. By giving the money to them - they will have to declare it as income (it’s above gift threshold) so they will have to pay income tax on it (given the amount you are talking 50% rate!!). Then, if your SD divorces- her husband gets half which could then get given to whom ever he chooses - new wife/other children. So I would strongly suggest you also get legal advice. I know you are wanting to set up your grandchild so you need to think worst case scenario… so proof check your plan.

Unless your parents contributed significantly to your buying the house they have no say. Even then, if any contribution was a gift they would be skating on thin ice! Your house, that you paid for, completely up to you to decide what you want to do with it. Your parents suck for not seeing your SD as a granddaughter - I would get it if she came into their lives as an adult but she was a child when you came into her life and she’s your family. You sound like a very different person to your parents. (And I mean that as a positive)

I’m a step mum - my ss was 1 when I got with his dad. That was 20 years ago - he has a mum and stepdad as well.
my husband and I had 3 more children together. So there are 4.
I used to want to give more to my biological children on the basis my ss would get from his mum… so felt it would be unfair. I wanted my share split differently ti my husbands.

I’ve changed my mind in the last few years or so. I don’t know why I changed, I really don’t know, but it feels wrong to not do it fairly.I want it all splitting equally between the 4 of them. He’s my son, that’s the bottomline. Sounds like you’re the same situation, except there’s no other children to complicate anything. You do what feels right.

There is no way I would do this . She is hardly struggling !! She has/had 150 k and her husband has a good job .

You can leave it to her after your death if you wish but for now , protect yourself .

I agree that your parents have told your N&N parents.
I wouldn't put all the 'eggs in one basket'. If you want to help your SD, why not sell the house, give her an amount and put the rest is savings, in case YOU need it or leave to N&N/Hubby/SD in your will

How lovely to read a positive loving step parent thread

She is your family. She may not be blood related but you brought her up as sadly her mum died

You have a great relationship with her and that's lovely

I can't beleive your parents think it's a bad idea

I assume they Havnt called theirselves nanny /grandad to sd 🥲

Your niece and nephew have their own parents to inherit from

I honestly believe the people telling you that you are delusional, not her mum, not going to be grandparent to her children, selfish, entitled etc etc are quite simply jealous of the opportunity you have to help your stepdaughter out.
absolutely vile comments. It is a lovely gesture, I’m not entirely convinced SD would even accept it as they likely have a plan and wouldn’t want to take that sum of money off you.

Came here to say this. And props to you for being such an incredible step parent. As someone who was resented by my own, I really applaud the love, care and respect you have given your step daughter.

I would remortgage it to get some equity out to give to her then keep it rented out. Then split it in the will three ways. That way you get the money twice to gift.

Your SD absolutely is privileged as she has advantages in life that others do not have, earned or not it’s still privilege. However she doesn’t sound entitled, everyone has dreams and it’s not like she’s asked for you to give her your house.
I think it’s a lovely idea and many on here are just jealous

Another point is that if everything is handed out on a plate and the stepdaughter gets her dream home at 27, what have she and her husband got to work towards. Part of the pleasure of owning something is knowing you got it through your own endeavours. Its lovely to give and receive gifts and if and when they move offer to help towards redecorating costs or giving the garden a makeover, whatever is needed, but can someone truly say that something is theirs if another person paid for it.

When I bought my first house my parents gave me the deposit, it was only £5,000 and a long time ago when you could still buy a big Victorian 3 bed terrace for well under £20K, but when I sold it I gave them back the money. Other things like a new fridge freezer I bought on interest free finance and when it was paid off it was a great sense of achievement. I have simple tastes and am probably easily pleased. Irrespective of the sums of money involved the principle is still the same.

It would be a different matter if they were living in a pokey, damp bed-sit surrounded by crack dens and brothels, but from what you have said they have a nice home in a good area and staying there for a few more years to save their own money isn't necessarily a bad thing.

She doesn't sound entitled but if relatives keep giving her large amounts of money she may start to expect it. My sister is like that and my Dad was a soft touch. When he died and I told her there wouldn't be any more money coming her way she chucked an absolute strop. There just wasn't the money to be had. I was the one who gave up their job to look after our mother, she and her husband carried on working. So don't risk her turning into an avaricious money grubber as she seems to be a lovely girl. Maybe relatives are giving her money to somehow compensate for losing her mother at such a young age and as you have brought her up as your own you should absolutely give her the money when the time comes, but really not many people expect to get their inheritance before the giver has died.

Whatever you decide to do I hope everything works out for the best and I am sure you will be a great Grandma.

What a lovely person you sound. I wish i could do the same for all of my Stepchildren but as i have 3 of them and 3 of my own it won't be possible. Go on do it after all she is your family.

I wouldn’t give her anything right now, simply because care costs are sky high so you/your husband may need it and can use that without selling your joint home together. If you need help and don’t have financial means then what?

leave you’re share in your will to your step daughter though, she’s more ‘family’ than niece and nephew anyway, you’ve basically raised her.