To be so fucking angry

Go online and look for examples of letters for a request for statutory assessment. Use all the evidence that you have, including the difficulties that you are experiencing at the moment with accessing mainstream school, as evidence. Use and reports from health visitors or other professionals about your son's developmental delays, use reports from SaLT about his problems with verbal communication. The issue a request for statutory assessment.

This should result in an assessment for EHCP. If not, appeal and appeal again.

We had to use parental referral for both our children. I have no idea why some LAs drag their feet when needs are so obvious.

You could gather your evidence in one document and engage a lawyer to send a letter requesting for an assessment with a said document attached. That might be all the extent you might need a lawyer for. I'd expect a prompt appointment afterwards as if you have a case if it goes to a court they loose and they know it.
Also, nobody wants to deal with a difficult person so they might just want to get you out of the way.
Just let LA know you are serious.
Unfortunately, this approach, together with always communicating to the point, calmly, even coldly, works for me. I am NOT a 'co-operative' or 'understanding' person though.

have you considered sourcing specialist provision yourself ? Thats what I did. Though we are still coping at mainstream school for the moment ( secondary) , the ECHP wait here is 92 weeks so I’ve not bothered. Her school are very supportive, perhaps look for an alternative for now that will support the process?

I think it's got worse.

For several years at the end of the last century, I worked in the legal department of an LEA and setting up SEN appeals (as they were then) was part of my job. When we got the paperwork, we'd take a good look at the evidence and in around 40%-50% of cases would tell the education department that we thought they would lose and they might as well stop wasting our time and issue a statement of needs.

Under the new system, there doesn't appear to be any point at which that happens, and the whole process seems to take a hellish amount of time.

My DIL is an ELSA in a mainstream school, in the LEA I used to work for. When she tells me about some of the children that she supports, and shows me the bruises, bitemarks etc, I find it incredible that children with such significant needs are in mainstream, and with what appears to be minimal specialist input.

The system wasn't brilliant in the 90s, but it seems to be utter shite now. And it's not helped by CAMHS being shite too, and only having capacity to help the most very troubled children. Friend's son had a 6-year wait for an ASD assessment, and was out of school for 5 years of that time. He finally got his diagnosis a few weeks before his 16th birthday. He's had no secondary education, apart from a few days that he found so awful that he was self-harming and suicidal.

I hope that a change of government will improve things, but I'm not holding my breath.

What you and so many others are going through is an utterly disgrace!!
My friend Is a primary teacher she is assaulted weekly, has children with significant physical and cognitive impairment in class, unsupported ND children and uncooperative parents to manage - everyone is being failed by the funding negligence that is going on in education.

We are 2.5 years into an ADHD assessment wait ourselves.

I'm so sorry this is happening. We were in a similar situation a few weeks ago with my son who is 10 years old but has the emotional development of a 3 year old and has autism. School applied for an ehcp but LA refused to assess. We won at mediation and the assessment started last week.

How does this work with numbers, for example 3 children are granted the right to attend the school but there is in fact only one more space open? Or is space looked at when granting the plan/application?

Have you spoken to your local SENDIAS? They are there to support you and advise you in exactly these situations. Also speak to a SEN solicitor. Join SEN facebook groups like SEND & EHCP Advice & Support, you will be recommended solicitors/legal advisors and just offered the right support for your situation. Honestly, just knowing you're not on your own really helps. Your child clearly needs an asssesment. Don't take no for an answer. Sadly fighting is the only way.

This is very odd. Which LA is this?
If a school is named in the plan the child has a legal right to attend. Think this requires a pre-action letter with a view to judicial review.

Yes, it does sound absolutely pants.
I hope you are able to get what you need in place for him and that you have some good support around you (family, friends etc) while this is happening.
Also, this advice used to be given when folk were applying for DLA (disability living allowance) but it may apply here too - do not underplay how much support he really needs on a daily basis, be brutally honest, and also do not underplay how much having this support would contribute to him living a decent life!

Also keep in mind that even an EHCP with a named special school may not guarantee a place.

Due to this Tory government’s politics ( academy system, LA’s do not have permission to open new schools) and a severe lack of funding, there are many children, with EHCP’s, with named special schools, because mainstream cannot meet their high needs, in mainstream schools. I see on average 4 in each primary in this situation. Children, families and school staff all struggling.

Other children are in independent schools which are costing LA’s a six figure sum, per child per year, plus transport costs, awarded by judicial review. This uses the same funding.

Fight! MP, local councillor, Director of CYPS.

All children have the right to an education.

You must appeal and you must really get to grips with EHCPs and specials schools locally etc. There are lots of incredibly supportive and useful Facebook groups (including local ones) where information is shared. Consider whether you can afford an advocate to help co-ordinate the appeal etc. Don't rely on any school to take over the process of EHCP etc.

Also, if your son is clearly not managing at nursery, consider very carefully whether it is the right decision to put him into the much more challenging setting of mainstream school. Could you manage (with support) to home ed in the short term while you fight for a special school place? Could you find a SEN nursery that might be a better fit that would have him for one year, even if part time?

It's a horrible process and yes, the LAs say no over and over again and you have to fight them every step of the way. I have recently sent over a 100 pages of evidence to panel... I did a SAR to get the notes from the meeting and (as I suspected) they hadn't even looked at any of it before they refused. They have also failed to meet any legal deadline.

This is actual proof that he needs an ehcp. The whole process is hideous. You have to prove that youve tried and it failed and the school have to agree that they cant manage before they even assess. Its really shit and traumatic for everyone

I'm so sorry, OP. I've recently found myself in the same situation when trying to have my DC assessed for sensory processing disorder and dyslexia. My DC's problems are less acute than yours and manifested later (age 9), but still enough to cause significant difficulty. The schools cannot provide this screening: it's out of their hands, and I know from speaking to our SENCO that this is a source of intense frustration and sometimes distress for them that children are being failed by the system. The cost to me for both sets of tests, together with full reports, didn't leave much change from £1K. And even for those who pay, there's a tiny dyslexia charity serving a huge area and the waiting time is a minimum six months.

Of course this is an utter disgrace. There are families who will have to prioritise food and heating, and for whom meeting this cost is simply impossible. Further, I am a university lecturer and support students with disabilities: recently we've had to change our entire institutional policy because students with SEN cannot get the diagnoses they need and deserve. They now all receive extra time for exams and on-demand assessment extensions, although quite how that's levelling the playing field for those who are disadvantaged it's difficult to say.

I wrote to my own MP - first time I ever have - given my own LEA has long been one of the worst funded in the country. I received a kind, sympathetic response and it really does seem he was pulling out the stops to help: he initiated a parliamentary debate and has been actively campaigning, but it simply isn't good enough.

The Tories, to put it bluntly, don't give a shit for the disabled. Other PPs upthread have given better practical advice: I just wanted you to know that I hear you and I sympathise. The situation is simply not good enough.

Slightly different but my kid got sort of pushed out of reception within half a term after our EHCP was refused. The LA wanted to force him into another mainstream and I refused. They then said we are electively home educating so they have no duty. At this point I quoted the children act and the education act saying I have a duty to keep y child safe (which he isn't at school) that I have a duty to get him appropriately educated (which mainstream isn't). I made formal complaints. They assessed and gave an EHCP still naming mainstream and I stood my ground and too it to appeal and won. I think it's something like 96% or 98% of appeals that win. Just disgusting.

But if you have lots of evidence as it sounds like you have then you can keep him home and still do the EHCP process. The 20 weeks is not going to be 20 weeks they will take longer then you will have a year wait for tribunal to appeal it, then when you win the special schools have no places so you I'll just be waiting on a space for months. so be prepared for this to take a couple years.

Keeping child home definitely makes it harder but I'm glad I did it my child was being traumatised at mainstream school. My advice is do a SAR on nursery and also do one on school for how they wrote up the visit your child had. Use this in your evidence. Once my kid was kicked out of school and they refused to help me with any paperwork or provide evidence (probably because it dames them for disability discrimination). But I did a SAR so had evidence even when my child was out of school

I’d argue they are stupid. They’re part of a stupid system, yes.

I know plenty of LAs that fun extortionate private school fees as they don’t have their own special schools, not for children with extreme complex needs mind you! They then also fund transport from miles away.

They also award EHCPs to the families with the best lawyers. They need to fight for the children who really need it.

Hi OP,

I've just got an EHCP for my son but I had to kick up hell to do it.

I think you need to start using strong language and plenty of it.

Keep him at home and self refer for the ehcp. Contact your local sendiass I think they are a national charity that support families with send. Contact your council send ops department and speak to them and ask if their area inclusion officer can call you. If all of that fails can you afford to pay a company like sunshine support to help. As a parent of a sen child who is older than yours. Knowing what I know now (mine didn’t have a diagnosis when younger) I wouldn’t send him. Definitely wait until everything is in place. Also contact your gp and ask for a paed referral. Contact everyone stamp your feet quietly and stand your ground. I did and it got there eventually.

It's what the la's do, they always refuse and hope the parents don't appeal. We had refuse to assess, refuse to issue. It took 3 years to get the ehcp. All one big delay tactic for them and just a continuing hell for us. It never gets better. I say this as someone who went to my mp, he did nothing and I also went to the papers, that made no difference.
You have to appeal their decision to not assess, you are almost certain to win. For now you have choices whether you continue the battle to get him into school or you defer. My regret is that I didn't do the latter. The sen journey is excruciating.

The EHCP application process is a nightmare!

Most people who have ehcps for their children have had to go through the appeals around assessment and tribunal around award route. In my county 60% which are refused at assessment are granted at tribunal. If they offer mediation take it, and show them a video of your sons needs.

If they haven’t already ask the school to put their concerns in writing and send it in as additional evidence for the ehcp.

You don’t have to send your child in September if you don’t have an EHCP. One option would be to try and defer a year. Another option is to call in sick each day with “anxiety because you can’t meet his needs” putting that in writing. You’ll get an attendance officer who will then write in support of the EHCP

IPSEA is your friend. It’s a legal charity exclusively helping parents get the right support for their SEND children. I’ve been through this and had to fight every step myself. You can do it! But make sure you are getting the right advice, and sadly that means ignoring most of what schools/LA say and getting independent advice.

You are not in the slightest bit unreasonable.

This is a marathon and unfortunately you are likely to have a version of this battle for support and inclusion throughout DC's education.

Find your tribe locally and compare notes on local services/schools, find supportive professionals and make sure they document DC's needs, take up training offers and other resources from IPSEA and SOS SEN, read the SEND Code of Practice 2015 and EHRC Equality Act 2010 Technical Guidance for Schools, familiarise yourself with school and LA complaints processes. Look after yourself and try and pace yourself - this is gruelling and soul destroying but you, and thousands of parents like you, will/do prevail. Requires digging deep, which is a huge ask when you are already supporting a disabled child.

keep fighting for the Ehcp.

what have school offered to help? We have a number of children with similar needs to your son in our early years department, we are helping some of them fight for specialist provision because really that’s what the need to thrive.

Some things that have helped are individual transition sessions so they have the classroom to themselves with their parent and a teacher/support staff member close by but taking lead from the parent. This could even start outside at first if heading in is too much.

Social stories to help with understanding the classroom.

very slow transition building up only when he ready, even if he just goes in for half an hour a day at first.

it’s not easy but with a school that wants to make it work hopefully you can get him happy going.

good luck.