Best friend and maid of honour didn’t give gift

I didn't get a gift from either of mine and would never have expected them to to, jesus why are some women so fucking entitled and precious.

It’s certainly the tradition in my culture for wedding party to give gifts. Used to be tradition for MOH to give “ wedding “ China. They also get hair / makeup, outfit paid by bride and all hens share cost of hen. This one sounds plain stingy

The whole idea of wedding gifts needs to die out. Weddings are no longer for couples setting up their first home and most of them cost the guests £££ to attend.

Maybe you should appreciate people being there for you and not expecting anything just because it’s the ‘done thing’
The fact this happened a year ago and it’s still bothering you is saying a lot more about you than your friend

I find this idea of giving money as a wedding present to "cover the cost of the meal" bizarre. I've seen it a few times on here- is that how it works?

I don't think you are unreasonable.

People are saying that weddings are expensive to attend, especially as part of the wedding party, but you've quite clearly stated that you paid for everything so this is a non-argument.

Also that it's etiquette for the bride to give the wedding party a gift rather than the other way around. I'm not sure why on earth you would do that when you've already paid for a meal, outfit and hotel for them so they've effectively had the whole thing for free as a good night out. So again a non-argument IMO.

I'm assuming you're Irish- it is a pretty major faux pas to not give a gift at a wedding in Ireland, doesn't seem to be as big a deal in UK

Could be a cultural difference? Where I am from we also give money in card, basically/roughly what the meal would have cost per person. But you seldom see bridesmaids, it isn´t a thing. Flowergirls at a max. Could this be the same in your case and you don´t know that bridesmaids don´t buy gifts/give money in the U.K?

She has probably given you hours and hours of her time, what more do you expect?

Wouldn't bother me. I have shelled out thousands attending hens and weddings but am not married myself. I find all the grabby aspects of weddings a total put off. It's all so me me me

Is this a cultural difference? When I was MOH many years ago I was given a small gift by the bride. My family gave a wedding present to the bride and groom. But there was no giving money in a card.

I suspect if you stand back and watch her behaviours for a bit you'll realise that she is as tight as a ducks backside.

I agree. Quite a few people at my wedding didn’t bring a gift but they all gave up time and money to travel to be there.

I do however think everyone should give a card, it is a small guesture that shows you are thinking of them.

I’d agree with MOH and bridesmaids not giving gifts. You normally gift them to say thank you for a good job.

However the “oh I’ve got this amazing gift” comments and then the gifts never appearing is a personality type, as shown on this thread. I have a friend like this. 40th birthday, gushing text about the amazing present she bought me and she’d post/give next time we met up. Never appeared. Has done this repeatedly over the years. I know to say “sure” and move on the conversation. I have no idea why she does it, but she’s great in every other way so I just shrug it off.

This. Bridesmaids/groomsmen generally don’t give wedding presents. DH’s niece is getting married tomorrow and I know, because I was sitting with them at a barbecue at the weekend, that none of the six groomsmen are giving presents.

When I've been a bridesmaid I was given a gift by the couple not the other way round. Its a lot of work, time and expense.

I didn’t think MOH/bridesmaids gave a gift.

Being your attendant and assisting you is kinda their gift.

Maybe she has money worries you know nothing about , maybe she would love to do these things but there is more month than pay left each month. Just because your friends doesn’t mean she would tell you this. It all sounds very expensive between her wedding and yours.

When I got married a bought a gift for my bridesmaids to thank them. Did you do this?

I paid for everything dress hair make up shoes for my bridesmaid plus one nights accommodation. hen night was not that expensive. i made sure of that local hen no flights etc
your friend sounds like one of my husbands friends always says he will pay x y z but we all know he hasn't got a bean. unless she has other traits you like I would reduce contact it's never going to happen

I know someone like this. They are tight.

It’s not the not giving gifts she is particularly bothered about (in my opinion) it’s the fact that, on what seems to be numerous occasions, she’s said she’s got one for her but it never materialises.

You should take a leaf out of her book OP and try the same trick on her in future.

I don't "expect" a gift from anyone, and I choose to have friends for many reasons - gift giving isn't one of them.

I would far rather have friend who didn't give a gift than one who wrote a post on MN moaning about not being given one!

She's not scatty, she's a tight-arse.

When people say this stuff, like "I'll do XYZ for you", the reaction they get is a positive one, e.g. "Oh thanks, that would be great" or similar.

It is a way of getting the lovely reaction without actually costing themselves in time or money or thought.
It is a form of scamming or cheating or conning - getting the thanks in advance but doing nothing.
A very off-putting trait.