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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He controlled her and she didn’t do anything about it

103 replies

Grannyzz · 01/07/2024 20:06

My mum has been controlled by my dad her whole life. She was scared to do anything and we always had to be on eggshells around him. She still puts him on a pedestal. I feel angry at her as I always wanted them to divorce as I felt neglected as a child and unloved as she did everything to keep him happy. I to this day feel resentful and disconnected from her and feel as though she wants me to be close with her but I just can’t and don’t want to. Aibu?

OP posts:
Original poster
Grannyzz · 01/07/2024 20:12

manchestermadness · 01/07/2024 20:10

I think you need to breathe a bit and realise that your mum is most likely going through abuse. She probably doesn’t realise. Your dad has probably controlled her for so long she can’t imagine it any other way. Please just have a bit of compassion. I know on the outside looking in it’s easy for you to see what your dad is doing, but a lot of people going through this don’t even realise.

Have a bit of sympathy x

Sorry you’re going through this too

I think she always knew, as she’d say things like no one would put up with a man like that but me, he shouldn’t have had kids etc etc

OP posts:
manchestermadness · 01/07/2024 20:10

I think you need to breathe a bit and realise that your mum is most likely going through abuse. She probably doesn’t realise. Your dad has probably controlled her for so long she can’t imagine it any other way. Please just have a bit of compassion. I know on the outside looking in it’s easy for you to see what your dad is doing, but a lot of people going through this don’t even realise.

Have a bit of sympathy x

Sorry you’re going through this too

Original poster
Grannyzz · 01/07/2024 20:08

I don’t feel like I loved them or her at all.

OP posts: