To not want to ‘sit in the park’ on a second date?

That's not what I meant at all.

Long term relationships are mostly successful due to shared values and maybe his values don't align with op's. I wouldn't have thought a park date was a good marker for this, but this thread suggests otherwise.

I'm slightly appalled by some of the posters on this thread who suggest that women who 'spread their legs' after a park date do not value themselves. If nothing else, it suggests they're a bit dim, unpleasant and probably quite insecure. I'd want to swerve women like this too.

The irony being is that the tone and language of the above post just radiates the same level of anger and grievance laden entitlement that you would expect from an actual basement dwelling incel.

And the maze!

And it's not even the best park in South London

This! (Although it does seem like some men are not even offering to buy her a woman a bowl of pasta!)

Some men want a 'walk in the park' date - and will still want a shag after. (In the bushes probably!) If you're lucky he may buy you a cone of chips after. You can sit together on the swings and eat them! 😂

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👏

Date 1 should be casual and cheap if OLD as you haven't met one another and have no real idea about compatibility. (If you already know each other it might be more special)
Date 2 and 3 are when you have some idea of compatibility and should do something special, whether that involves money or not. It should be something that seems to align with your interests and is either fun/exciting/ something you wouldn't usually do. There's.a chance you'll be looking back on these dates fondly if it leads anywhere. I would expect date 2 to last longer than date 1 as well unless there were other time constraints in the day for either person.

If you're looking to date more casually then something simple and not as exciting might be more acceptable. I would have thought from the OP's tone she is looking for more than bedroom company.

Oooo is he very smart ...is he testing her to see if she's a gold digger 😂absolutely hilarious. Honestly I think it's nuts how many totally average men are convinced that women are after them for their money. Like is said, if you're a millionaire/billionaire, I totally would understand the concern...but do you really think an average woman is so desperate for a free plate of pasta that she'd endure the company of a man she's not truly keen on.

Excellent post! Some women make me cringe. Their bar is set so low for men, that it's scraping along the floor.

And yes @ForGreyKoala I DO have a high opinion of myself. I am just sorry that so many women on here don't have the same high opinion of themselves.

And yes to the posters saying you are deluded if you think you are even remotely equal to men, especially in the workplace. It will always be YOU bearing the children, and your body being affected through it. And YOUR career taking a hit. And YOU on a lower income than men, even for doing the same job. And YOU who is never promoted when men are. And YOU doing the lion's share of the housework, childcare, and grunt work (no matter how much you tell yourself 'my DH and I will do 50-50. Won't happen!)

But hey - you carry on with your feminist rhetoric, paying for your own drinks and meals on dates, and going for 'walking dates' because your 'date' CBA to fork out even for a latte - 'because feminism!' I bet you won't/didn't change your surname on marriage - that's even if you got married! 'because patriarchy!' But then still end up doing most of the housework, grunt work, and childcare. (AS WELL AS GOING OUT TO WORK. Because that makes women sooo equal to men doesn't it?! Going out to work, as well as doing almost everything around the house/for the kids!)

IME and IMO, the vast VAST majority of men who are tight-fisted with money when you first meet them 'because women fought for equality' do NOT take that equality into the relationship. Funnily enough they believe in equality when it comes to a woman paying for herself, but not when it comes to pulling their weight around the house/looking after the kids.

You have my sympathy. And no I do not think of women as equal to men. We are fucking BETTER than them. As soon as you adopt this mindset, you will be a much happier person. Right now, you 'feminists' bashing me and posters with the same mindset don't sound too happy.

And as a pp said, all the LOLz at the gold-digger accusations. The vast majority of men have fuck-all to offer in the way of 'gold' and very few are rich. Women would be going for someone better than 'let's go on a walking date' man if they were gold-diggers! LMFAO!

I agree with @Comedycook lots of incel-type comments on here.

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100%

Too fucking right!

The more I read this thread, the more convinced I am that this man is very smart and knows exactly what he's doing.

I hope you both get the partners you deserve.

"No, I want somewhere expensive because even though you don't know me yet, I'm WORTH IT, just like all the other ladies you have dated have probably said. The more money you spend on me on the first date, the more serious you are about me! You just have to trust me that I'm not using you for free food... Obviously I'm not one of those women who line up a different guy on every day of the week so I can systematically tick off all the Michelin star restaurants in London, I mean what sort of woman does that?! Dates are NOT about getting to know someone in quiet, friendly settings, they're about letting me assess your financial situation and your ability to support me."

#Meganmarkle

lol at sitting in the park as a grown up.

It's a no from me!

Strongbow......you are a bit posh aren't you!

Don't forget your Strongbow.

Yep!

And it's a great strategy, he might find a like minded woman and have a happy relationship while op breaths a sigh of relief by avoiding a man who doesn't understand 'the rules'.

I’d much prefer that to a meal but that’s just me, everyone is different.

Yeah absolutely, I'm 37 and am struggling to think of a single date I've been on where the man has paid and I haven't either bought the next round or paid the next time we went out. My personal experience, others think/act differently. I just haven't ever had that expectation when dating. Raised on Destiny's Child maybe?! The shoes on my feet...I bought it!

Given how many women think the dating formula is money for sex. And given that they think men know this too. And given they think men desire sex above all else, then the only logical conclusion is that Mr Parkdate rejects all of the above and just wants a nice park date.

@beeloubee most parks have coffee shops.
Ones near me are so fancy pants that a couple of coffees plus maybe a cake or ice cream will cost lots more than a tenner 😂

Pardon… you ‘don’t hear anything about men’s expectations of women’??

Really? Men’s expectations of women, usually conflicting expectations that are impossible to meet, are built into the very fabric of society.

This thread is getting wild - especially the poster who suggested that feminism has bypassed women who have preferences about the type of date they go on. The internalised misogyny is so depressing.

Maybe it's not about the money and the guy just enjoys parks.

The thing with money is that most people who have it, don't really feel the need to demonstrate this fact to everyone, and wouldn't consider that it might look like they don't have a tenner.

Be careful and safe. You don't know this man well and I hope the park isn't too isolated.

Yeah weird idea for a date. Suggest going for a coffee. Surely he can afford a tenner.

This thread is an interesting read, especially the view that a woman who is happy to go on a date that doesn't cost the man money, does not value herself.

Maybe the guy has picked up on this attitude and uses park dates to eliminate women who equate spending money with developing a relationship.

I'd text back weather forecast is for rain.