Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to ‘sit in the park’ on a second date?

458 replies

LookOverHere · 01/07/2024 17:38

I met a chap on a dating app a few weeks ago, we met up for a drink for our first date and it was fun. He’s calm, has a good sense of humour, nice smile, good job. Both in our late 40’s. He texted me the day after to say he’d love to see me again, and since then he’s sent the occasional text, thoughtful, remembers what I’ve said. But… for the second he suggested “shall we sit in the park?”

AIBU to be disappointed with this? What does it even mean… I’m too old to be hanging out in the park! That’s where I had my teenage dates. The weather forecast also says rain. It’s not a picnic, or he’d mention it. I think it’s a low effort suggestion, a bit weird for a professional guy, and something I might do with a friend or colleague (we sometimes grab a coffee in the park). All my successful relationships all started with a romantic meal. Is this how it is these days? All views welcome…

OP posts:
FuzzyStripes · 01/07/2024 18:02

I’d enjoy a park but I can see it’s a long way from a meal in a restaurant and if that’s what you were expecting, it falls short.

If you aren’t compatible about how you spend time for the second date, it doesn’t bode well for the future.

Aylestone · 01/07/2024 18:01

Screamingabdabz · 01/07/2024 17:41

I would just say no. I bet he’s tight and doesn’t want to have to pay for dinner.

Would you want to have to pay for dinner for every single date? The last few meals I’ve had with my oh have come to between £150-£200 including a few cocktails. Say they’re going on 1 date a week. And the first date he’s already taken her for drinks. Could you afford £200 a dinner date every single week? Even if you could, why should you have to?

ExtraOnions · 01/07/2024 18:01

Sitting somewhere scenic, hopefully nice weather, a long chat with no distractions, no loud loud music, or a crowded cafe with people jostling for tables, no pressure .. sounds nice to me

Memoryzine · 01/07/2024 18:00

A simple early date bodes well for later ones.
The flashiest have turned out to be the worst.

Funnywonder · 01/07/2024 18:00

I know he said 'sit in the park', but maybe don't take it too literally. It would be perfect for me. I like walking. I like peace and quiet. Birds tweeting. Flowers in bloom. And not having to try and talk between shovelling food into my gob without spilling anything, which invariably happens when I'm nervous😆 Also, it honestly would never, ever cross my mind to think that it was a cheap date. I would just be happy that he thought like me. Maybe the two of you have mismatched expectations.

Twinklewonderkins · 01/07/2024 18:00

Is he bringing the bottle of Frosty Jack or are you?

Procrastinates · 01/07/2024 18:00

Despair1 · 01/07/2024 17:57

What's wrong with sitting in a park? Scenery/greenery/fresh air/birds etc etc
That would be a lovely suggestion for me and an opportunity for conversation!
Nothing to do with 'stinginess' at all

Agreed. Ok it's a bit annoying that it's scheduled to rain but I can't see any problem with going to a nice park for a few hours. There's likely to be a coffee shop there you could get a drink from and it actually gives you chance to talk in a relaxed environment. It sounds like a much better second date idea than a meal out.

perfumasour · 01/07/2024 18:00

Ask him what he means by that??

Durdledore · 01/07/2024 17:59

I’d love a little sit in the park, but it’s not really a classic date location, I get that.

Is he stuck circa 2020? 😂😷

ilovesooty · 01/07/2024 17:59

Screamingabdabz · 01/07/2024 17:41

I would just say no. I bet he’s tight and doesn’t want to have to pay for dinner.

No reason why he should stand the cost of the date. The OP could always offer to split it.

LinseedCrackers · 01/07/2024 17:59

'No, thanks, my days of necking White Lightning on the swings are long over. Let's have an indoor date.'

SoComplicated · 01/07/2024 17:57

I would also prefer the park to a meal.

Despair1 · 01/07/2024 17:57

What's wrong with sitting in a park? Scenery/greenery/fresh air/birds etc etc
That would be a lovely suggestion for me and an opportunity for conversation!
Nothing to do with 'stinginess' at all

Aylestone · 01/07/2024 17:56

Needmorelego · 01/07/2024 17:48

Also depends on the park.
One with a lake, some ducks, art trail, old statues etc - I love parks like that.

This. He’s probably just worded it weird. There’s a difference between a proper park and being sat on a bench in an actual playground. I don’t think he’s going to ask you to push him on the swings 😬 I’d be tempted to go just to see what happens. Also it may be a financial situation. I do find that men can’t win on here sometimes. On ‘who should pay for the date threads’ there’s always comments that if the man can’t pay for a meal/drinks then they should have picked a coffee date or walk. But when one asks for that then he’s a weirdo for not taking you out to dinner. And he’ll get judged for not being able to afford it, but honestly dating is bloody expensive, and I know I couldn’t afford to pay for dinner and wine for two at a restaurant right now. Doesn’t mean I’m financially irresponsible or a cheapskate

babadumm · 01/07/2024 17:52

Battersea Park, Hyde Park etc are very full of loved up couples atm.. loads of nice things to do in the parks

Doingtheboxerbeat · 01/07/2024 17:48

I love parks and would prefer that to a meal, but not all parks are created equally. My local parks wouldn't be as cool as say Hyde Park , but I guess it's not for everyone.

Needmorelego · 01/07/2024 17:48

Also depends on the park.
One with a lake, some ducks, art trail, old statues etc - I love parks like that.

whoscoatsthatjacket2012 · 01/07/2024 17:47

I don't think there's anything wrong with this.
Less pressure and some fresh air. As long as it's not raining it will be lovely

Needmorelego · 01/07/2024 17:46

Just because he didn't say picnic that might be what he meant.
It's summer - picnic date would be lovely.

poshfrock · 01/07/2024 17:46

Picnic with wine and deli lunch on a sunny day, yes; huddling in a cagoule on a park bench clutching a Costa in the rain, definitely not ! It's July and I'm sitting on my sofa in a woolly polo neck jumper. The weather is not playing ball for this type of date at the moment !

fieldsofbutterflies · 01/07/2024 17:46

I wouldn't mind this at all - my first date with DH was eating a Tesco meal deal by the lake though Grin

Hazelville · 01/07/2024 17:45

I’d suggest something else and see what he says.

Londonrach1 · 01/07/2024 17:45

I'd honestly prefer the park to a meal.

AltheaVestr1t · 01/07/2024 17:45

I would really like this, but it's not for everyone! If the forecast says rain that's a good reason/excuse to propose an alternative plan.

SoComplicated · 01/07/2024 17:45

I wouldn’t mind walking around the park and then getting a coffee but just sitting there, no.

Swipe left for the next trending thread