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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want to ‘sit in the park’ on a second date?

458 replies

LookOverHere · 01/07/2024 17:38

I met a chap on a dating app a few weeks ago, we met up for a drink for our first date and it was fun. He’s calm, has a good sense of humour, nice smile, good job. Both in our late 40’s. He texted me the day after to say he’d love to see me again, and since then he’s sent the occasional text, thoughtful, remembers what I’ve said. But… for the second he suggested “shall we sit in the park?”

AIBU to be disappointed with this? What does it even mean… I’m too old to be hanging out in the park! That’s where I had my teenage dates. The weather forecast also says rain. It’s not a picnic, or he’d mention it. I think it’s a low effort suggestion, a bit weird for a professional guy, and something I might do with a friend or colleague (we sometimes grab a coffee in the park). All my successful relationships all started with a romantic meal. Is this how it is these days? All views welcome…

OP posts:
Tilly22222 · 01/07/2024 18:18

I’d really like this. Definitely not with the women who want to be “impressed” by someone flashing the cash.

Procrastinates · 01/07/2024 18:17

RachelGreep87 · 01/07/2024 18:16

A lot of posters sound very grabby.

They really do. Hmm

SouthLondonMum22 · 01/07/2024 18:16

Ask him what the plans are for the park, especially if it’s due to rain. Suggest a meal if that’s what you want, just don’t expect him to pay for all of it.

RachelGreep87 · 01/07/2024 18:16

A lot of posters sound very grabby.

Lavenderblossoms · 01/07/2024 18:16

What's wrong with a walk in a park?

Ok if the weather isn't good then fine but to have a little sit then a walk doesn't mean it has to end there. Maybe he had plans to move onto somewhere to eat? (If it was more pleasant weather)

This is where communication comes in. Don't bin him off just for a suggestion. If otherwise you got on. He might have thought it was romantic. Least he suggested something, some people on here take umbridge at guy's never suggesting something.

Just talk to him and say you'd fancy doing something else then give your suggestion and see if you can meet in the middle somewhere?

Dressinggowntime · 01/07/2024 18:15

He’s not out to impress at all. He would get silence from me. Possibly a ‘the park?’ Message and then more silence until he suggests dinner. Before I got married I always did drinks first date and dinner second date. I followed the rules though as I wanted that sort of dating.

To not want to ‘sit in the park’ on a second date?
StormingNorman · 01/07/2024 18:14

All your successful relationships have resulted in you OLD now. Try something different - he may have something up his sleeve.

hoggyhedge · 01/07/2024 18:14

Ask him what he means and is he bringing champagne?

VotesAndGoats · 01/07/2024 18:14

He may just not want you to feel pressured. Do you like him or not?

Original poster
LookOverHere · 01/07/2024 18:13

@Aylestone ”I don’t think he’s going to ask you to push him on the swings” ROFL thank you, properly made me laugh. Agree with your comments.

OP posts:
countcalculia · 01/07/2024 18:12

LookOverHere · 01/07/2024 18:09

Thanks all - appreciate the replies. We had two drinks for first date and split the bill, and I picked the bar. He’s got a good job, owns his own home (that’s what he says anyway!). I always offer to split the bill, mostly when I date if he pays on a date I get the next one, which works well.

Might be a good test to see how he reacts to a counter suggestion.

Tell him you're afraid it looks like rain and you'd prefer to meet for a drink or meal.

If he reacts badly or agrees but then he is moody on the date then bin him off.

SixFifteens · 01/07/2024 18:12

All my successful relationships all started with a romantic meal

How were they all successful if there were multiple?

GoofyGoldie · 01/07/2024 18:12

My 2nd date with DH was a walk on the beach. It was my suggestion. I didn't know till later he hates sand! Walking & talking was lovely.
We did end up at a cafe, then a pub for a meal later. But the original plan was just a walk, which was fine.
Last Saturday was our wedding anniversary - we were supposed to go out for a meal, but ended up with a meal deal picnic from Tesco on the beach - much more my cup of tea.
I'd go to the park quite happily.

Easipeelerie · 01/07/2024 18:12

When you suggested splitting the bill, how did he respond, initially. If he went with it straightaway, it suggest he’s a tightwad.

Lumpalicious · 01/07/2024 18:12

I would ask him to clarify what he means - tell him that you are too old to hang around aimlessly in parks, and was there more to his suggestion than you are aware?

ETA - I wouldn’t have a problem if the suggestion was a walk in the park for a second date, it’s the implication that you are going to just meet there and hang out at the benches that I would be objecting to.

BobbyBiscuits · 01/07/2024 18:11

Could he mean the park cafe? Or maybe he was going to bring a picnic? If I suggested a park date I'd definitely bring a couple of cans of g&t and some crisps at least?!
Just say 'the weather's not looking great, why don't we go to x reasonably priced local pub/food place?' if he declines then I'd say just don't bother to suggest another date. But it's a shame to be not allowing him a chance to redeem himself from suggesting something your not keen on. He could be short of money, but is that such a terrible crime?

Doingmybest12 · 01/07/2024 18:11

Has he just worded this badly? What sort of park?
You could suggest something if you are interested in him.

Cheesemongers · 01/07/2024 18:11

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
LookOverHere · 01/07/2024 18:09

Thanks all - appreciate the replies. We had two drinks for first date and split the bill, and I picked the bar. He’s got a good job, owns his own home (that’s what he says anyway!). I always offer to split the bill, mostly when I date if he pays on a date I get the next one, which works well.

OP posts:
FloofPaws · 01/07/2024 18:08

Do you /he have a dog? Suggest a nice walk, somewhere with people around! Then a pub drink or meal
I wouldn't sit with DH in the park randomly let alone a date

HowIrresponsible · 01/07/2024 18:05

A romantic meal for a second date?

You're getting ahead of yourself

MsFogi · 01/07/2024 18:05

Tight or he th inks he will be able to have an afternoon of uninterrupted snogging and heavy petting on the grass like a pair of 16 year olds!

Riapia · 01/07/2024 18:04

Bet he’ll expect you to bring the cans of cider.
😉😁😁

Uricon2 · 01/07/2024 18:04

Clarify what sort of park and does he mean a picnic?

Tightness alarm bells ringing though (and Blur playing in my head)

ETA and no I don't think he should have to pay for it all if dinner etc.

Useruserdoubleuser · 01/07/2024 18:03

Who paid for the first date? If it was him it’s your turn so you should suggest a place. If you split the first date I’d just say the weather’s not great so how about a cafe somewhere.