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Original poster

To not want to ‘sit in the park’ on a second date?

458 replies

LookOverHere · 01/07/2024 17:38

I met a chap on a dating app a few weeks ago, we met up for a drink for our first date and it was fun. He’s calm, has a good sense of humour, nice smile, good job. Both in our late 40’s. He texted me the day after to say he’d love to see me again, and since then he’s sent the occasional text, thoughtful, remembers what I’ve said. But… for the second he suggested “shall we sit in the park?”

AIBU to be disappointed with this? What does it even mean… I’m too old to be hanging out in the park! That’s where I had my teenage dates. The weather forecast also says rain. It’s not a picnic, or he’d mention it. I think it’s a low effort suggestion, a bit weird for a professional guy, and something I might do with a friend or colleague (we sometimes grab a coffee in the park). All my successful relationships all started with a romantic meal. Is this how it is these days? All views welcome…

OP posts:
SouthLondonMum22 · 01/07/2024 18:28

Dressinggowntime · 01/07/2024 18:26

It worked for me and I had a lovely time dating ( in 2018 if it’s relevant) rather than a miserable time sat on damp park benches. We have choices in dating and if someone wants a more traditional approach of dinner dates etc then that’s their choice

Edited
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We do have choices. A park date isn’t automatically ‘miserable’ just because it might be a bit damp or doesn’t involve a man spending money on you.

ginasevern · 01/07/2024 18:26

Just make sure it isn't a deserted, off the beaten track sort of park. Did he have a park in mind?

TheCultureHusks · 01/07/2024 18:26

Maybe he’s a millionaire and is testing you!

Dressinggowntime · 01/07/2024 18:26

hoggyhedge · 01/07/2024 18:19

Jesus christ

The rules 😂😂😂

Show quote history

It worked for me and I had a lovely time dating ( in 2018 if it’s relevant) rather than a miserable time sat on damp park benches. We have choices in dating and if someone wants a more traditional approach of dinner dates etc then that’s their choice

divinededacende · 01/07/2024 18:25

A lot of people are clearly looking to be "impressed" by the wrong things when they're dating. No wonder people end up with such bad matches when the focus is on who takes who where and in what order rather than the quality of match.

Given that people have gone to restaurants on dates for decades, it's hardly more effort than suggesting a conversation in the park. More money. Not more effort. Says a lot about what's being judged.

Fs365 · 01/07/2024 18:25

fieldsofbutterflies · 01/07/2024 18:20

Don't they just 😂and snobby too!

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And entitled, they almost want men to pay to spend time with them…

hoggyhedge · 01/07/2024 18:24

If you're a rules girl, you probably have good dated since 1999....

One thing i learned about dating is to be open minded and open to something new

Youcunnyfunt · 01/07/2024 18:24

Maybe he’s a dogger.

SamW98 · 01/07/2024 18:24

viques · 01/07/2024 18:21

Perhaps he wants to introduce you to his dog to see if you are compatible? Love me, love my dog as the saying goes….

I had a guy who anted to do a first date walking his dog. When I said that wasn’t really my idea of a date he sent a video of his dog with crying emojis saying she was sad I didn’t want to meet her.

We never got to meet funny enough 🤣

Ace56 · 01/07/2024 18:23

Agree depends on the type of park and also the time of day, weather forecast etc.

An afternoon stroll on a sunny day would be nice, but not literally sitting on a bench when it’s spitting. I’d probably reply with ‘yeah we could do depending on the weather…maybe drinks/dinner at X place if it’s rubbish?’

pasta · 01/07/2024 18:22

omg not the fucking rules.

If you like him, then go and meet him in the park. If you don't want to see him again then don't.

I'd be really up for it, you can walk and talk and then if you are having a good time go and get something to eat or whatever.

minipie · 01/07/2024 18:22

The Rules 🙄🙄🙄

I think this sounds like a nice, non flashy, could last 1/2 hr or 5 hrs depending on how you get on, kind of date.

Depends on whether you want someone who is “out to impress”, or someone who doesn’t feel that’s their role and just wants to get to know you.

The rain forecast would put me right off though. Suggest you point this out and make an alternative suggestion.

If you only want men who will wine and dine you then best say so and let this chap find someone else.

SamW98 · 01/07/2024 18:22

I don’t do dinner dates but I’d still want a couple of drinks or a coffee and a chat. Sitting in the park really isn’t my idea of a date.

Only time that would have worked was in lockdown when nothing was open.

Just say to him you’d rather go for a drink see what he says

Cheesemongers · 01/07/2024 18:21

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

viques · 01/07/2024 18:21

WishingOnACar · 01/07/2024 18:21

Has he got a dog that he needs to walk and is trying to kill two birds with one stone?!

Great minds!

viques · 01/07/2024 18:21

Perhaps he wants to introduce you to his dog to see if you are compatible? Love me, love my dog as the saying goes….

Procrastinates · 01/07/2024 18:21

Tilly22222 · 01/07/2024 18:18

I’d really like this. Definitely not with the women who want to be “impressed” by someone flashing the cash.

Indeed I'd also argue it's much nicer and has had more thought put into it than a bog standard meal. Going out for dinner for a date is about as uninspired as you can get.

WishingOnACar · 01/07/2024 18:21

Has he got a dog that he needs to walk and is trying to kill two birds with one stone?!

OuijaBoard · 01/07/2024 18:21

I think it's fine (and quite logical) to meet in the park, provided it won't start pouring before your meeting time, and then decide to do something else. If you like him and want to see him, I'd just suggest seeing meeting in the park and maybe spending a little time there if the weather's nice, then doing something else that you'd like to do. (Of course, parks very widely - there are loads of really nice ones but also quite a few grotty and even dangerous ones, so that puts a particular spin on the suggestion and the likely experience, too.)

fieldsofbutterflies · 01/07/2024 18:20

RachelGreep87 · 01/07/2024 18:16

A lot of posters sound very grabby.

Don't they just 😂and snobby too!

PeloMom · 01/07/2024 18:20

While I love parks and walks I wouldn’t be impressed if a guy suggested that for a second date. He’s supposed to be trying to impress me, not be a lazy thoughtless bum already.

Waterboatlass · 01/07/2024 18:20

It's a lovely suggestion in July, I've had some great dates in parks in summer including first date with DP which turned to dinner. He's probably not checked the weather if it's raining. I'd just say 'sounds lovely but looks like rain, gallery/ dinner/ drinks instead?' don't presume the worst, see what he says.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 01/07/2024 18:20

I'd love a walk in a park - even if it's raining, it's nice to get out in the fresh air and it's not going to be freezing, it's July!

Is there any chance that, in his late 40's, he might be losing a little bit of hearing and finding hearing individual conversation over background noise is harder? I prefer no background noise when I want to talk to someone properly, as hearing them when there's background laughter, chat, music etc can be difficult.

hoggyhedge · 01/07/2024 18:19

Dressinggowntime · 01/07/2024 18:15

He’s not out to impress at all. He would get silence from me. Possibly a ‘the park?’ Message and then more silence until he suggests dinner. Before I got married I always did drinks first date and dinner second date. I followed the rules though as I wanted that sort of dating.

Jesus christ

The rules 😂😂😂

Sunnydiary · 01/07/2024 18:19

Oh I am another one who would love a nice walk around a decent park!

If you’re not keen just tell him. Dating is a discovery phase, so better to be honest.