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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want to ‘sit in the park’ on a second date?

458 replies

LookOverHere · 01/07/2024 17:38

I met a chap on a dating app a few weeks ago, we met up for a drink for our first date and it was fun. He’s calm, has a good sense of humour, nice smile, good job. Both in our late 40’s. He texted me the day after to say he’d love to see me again, and since then he’s sent the occasional text, thoughtful, remembers what I’ve said. But… for the second he suggested “shall we sit in the park?”

AIBU to be disappointed with this? What does it even mean… I’m too old to be hanging out in the park! That’s where I had my teenage dates. The weather forecast also says rain. It’s not a picnic, or he’d mention it. I think it’s a low effort suggestion, a bit weird for a professional guy, and something I might do with a friend or colleague (we sometimes grab a coffee in the park). All my successful relationships all started with a romantic meal. Is this how it is these days? All views welcome…

OP posts:
Cheesemongers · 01/07/2024 18:55

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greenpolarbear · 01/07/2024 18:55

RobinEllacotStrike · 01/07/2024 18:51

Hes either:
skint
tight
avoiding alcohol

or married

Luxell934 · 01/07/2024 18:55

If you’ve been on a date already and you like him then I’d just go with his idea
and see what happens.

xyzabcde · 01/07/2024 18:55

Quote.... " All my successful relationships all started with a romantic meal."

At the risk of sounding flippant - if they'd been that successful you'd not be looking for another?

Maybe a different approach? Look at a different sort of person?

KateDelRick · 01/07/2024 18:54

He's read all the threads on here where women insist that the man should pay for everything on every date and he's a bit scared 😉

CracklingLogsGalore · 01/07/2024 18:52

Sorry, but how successful can your previous relationships have been if they ended?? Grin

I wouldn’t be happy with sitting in the park either - but I can’t stand the cold. Perhaps he’s more of an outdoorsy kind of person who doesn’t mind the wind/rain?

thebestinterest · 01/07/2024 18:51

Kindly, sounds like he’s into the peacefulness. I think if you have such an aversion to it, maybe this date isn’t compatible with you. And by this date I mean the guy…

RobinEllacotStrike · 01/07/2024 18:51

Hes either:
skint
tight
avoiding alcohol

Sunhatweather · 01/07/2024 18:51

Maybe he is being respectful and thinking you want to be in a public area for safety? Maybe he wants to have a date away from a pub or restaurant and get to know you in normal clothes rather than both dressed up for a date.
Either way, I’d be seeing it as a pleasant invite and and something a bit different. He might want to surprise you with a picnic.
Sounds good to me.
Would you rather he be trying to get you drunk or be asking for nudes?

tunainatin · 01/07/2024 18:51

I'd love that, as I love being in parks. Also sometimes it's easier to talk while strolling or sat side by side looking at a lake, than face to face over a dinner table. However, if it's not something you'd enjoy, maybe suggest something else.

neilyoungismyhero · 01/07/2024 18:49

You might find a lovely little table with a pretty tablecloth and all sorts of delicacies on it- champagne flutes and truffles accompanied by a handsome violin player, playing romantic music on the other hand it may be a park bench.

gardenmusic · 01/07/2024 18:49

For those knocking the rules, they worked for me.

Cheesemongers · 01/07/2024 18:48

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Itsallsostressful · 01/07/2024 18:46

I'd ask for a wee bit clarification as pp said. Walking in the park...lovely or getting coffee in a park cafe. Sitting in the park just doesn't sound as nice !

SouthLondonMum22 · 01/07/2024 18:46

Ochr · 01/07/2024 18:40

Not according to the frankly bizarre contributers to this thread. I can only assume most of them are a) male b) 14 or c) both.

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Because it’s unlikely he means literally just sitting on the park bench staring at each other for a few hours.

itsmabeline · 01/07/2024 18:45

Reply saying a picnic would be lovely, but they've forecasted rain and suggest another day or alternative venue.

fieldsofbutterflies · 01/07/2024 18:45

Screamingabdabz · 01/07/2024 18:41

Well there you have it! You’ve just answered your own question about ‘why assume the worst?’ 🙄

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How? Confused

I'm assuming that most people would see sitting in the park as having a drink and a picnic, or going to a cafe, not just "sitting on bench" which is how you've chosen to interpret it 🙄

Screamingabdabz · 01/07/2024 18:41

fieldsofbutterflies · 01/07/2024 18:37

Because very few people will want to just "sit on a bench" with a stranger?

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Well there you have it! You’ve just answered your own question about ‘why assume the worst?’ 🙄

Getitgirl · 01/07/2024 18:41

Absolutely not. Nope no. You’re worth far more. He’s cheap and dull. Go with your initial instinct

Morningcrows · 01/07/2024 18:41

I think I'd ask him to clarify what he means

Ochr · 01/07/2024 18:40

fieldsofbutterflies · 01/07/2024 18:37

Because very few people will want to just "sit on a bench" with a stranger?

Show quote history

Not according to the frankly bizarre contributers to this thread. I can only assume most of them are a) male b) 14 or c) both.

Squashinthepinkcup · 01/07/2024 18:40

Ochr · 01/07/2024 18:35

Send him to this thread op. It's full of women who apparently love sitting on park benches and hate nice restaurants.

😂 yes indeed! In fact a few weeks ago when the sunshine finally hit my DH and I got a babysitter and just went to our local park to sit in the sunshine together. It's a lovely park, but we moved in the winter, then had a baby and have been the types to have early bedtimes for our smalls so in the 6 years we've lived here we've never once enjoyed a leisurely evening soaking up the atmosphere of a bustling city park right on our doorstep, enjoying company and conversation and eventually watching the sunset. It was simple and lovely. But, that's me and him. It's okay for others to want different things, but would be helpful for the OP if her and Mr Parkdate are on the same page about things!!

Maybe when he says 'sit in a park' he means with a picnic and just hasn't said all the thoughts? Maybe he hasn't checked the forecast?? Have you asked for any more information on what he's thinking OP? Is it a busy park? Nice place to watch the sunset maybe?

GingerPirate · 01/07/2024 18:39

Nothing wrong with this, but boy am I happy
that I don't have to or need to bother dating anymore!

RaininSummer · 01/07/2024 18:38

If it isn't raining then sitting in a park, people watching, chatting and picnicking would be a lovely date I think. Need a plan b however. Ask him if it involves a picnic etc. or will you go to eat if date goes on a while.

Cheesemongers · 01/07/2024 18:38

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