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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want to ‘sit in the park’ on a second date?

458 replies

LookOverHere · 01/07/2024 17:38

I met a chap on a dating app a few weeks ago, we met up for a drink for our first date and it was fun. He’s calm, has a good sense of humour, nice smile, good job. Both in our late 40’s. He texted me the day after to say he’d love to see me again, and since then he’s sent the occasional text, thoughtful, remembers what I’ve said. But… for the second he suggested “shall we sit in the park?”

AIBU to be disappointed with this? What does it even mean… I’m too old to be hanging out in the park! That’s where I had my teenage dates. The weather forecast also says rain. It’s not a picnic, or he’d mention it. I think it’s a low effort suggestion, a bit weird for a professional guy, and something I might do with a friend or colleague (we sometimes grab a coffee in the park). All my successful relationships all started with a romantic meal. Is this how it is these days? All views welcome…

OP posts:
Ilovecleaning · 01/07/2024 19:56

ilovesooty · 01/07/2024 17:59

No reason why he should stand the cost of the date. The OP could always offer to split it.

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🙄

Dinkading · 01/07/2024 19:56

Procrastinates · 01/07/2024 19:51

I'm nowhere near London and we have some gorgeous parks here too with boating lakes, outdoor theatres, statue gardens, nature trails, mazes and cafes.

Don't get me wrong we also have some shit ones but I'm surprised so many posters seem to have jumped to the conclusion it will be taking place in a crappy patch of grass strewn with needles, fag ends and a group of semi drunk teens.

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It's not about money it's about effort. If he is truly interested he would suggest something more interesting or exciting. It's the same as putting on your best clothes for an interview, you wouldn't turn up in a t-shirt because it's so 'laid back' and 'low-key'. From his suggestion I would think he was either not very interested (or dating very often so had limited funds/ideas for dates) or a bit dull.

Waterboatlass · 01/07/2024 19:54

OP, even if you're still not sold and steer the date towards something else, please take from this range of responses that it's a perfectly normal suggestion and i hope you're not put off if you quite liked the guy.

MuttsNutts · 01/07/2024 19:52

What time of day? Maybe he’s into dogging 😳

It is a strange suggestion, a walk in the park would be better which could lead onto coffee or lunch maybe but suggesting just sitting in the park is odd.

Hayliebells · 01/07/2024 19:52

I'd probably take it as a sign that we something in common if he suggested a cool park with nice scenery, a food outlet/lovely picnic. I'd prefer that in the summer to a restaurant.

Procrastinates · 01/07/2024 19:51

Ksqordssvimy · 01/07/2024 19:47

Is this a park thing? As I'm in London and we are awash with lovely parks, pedellos, couples, cafes, rose gardens, lidos, views. That's what I'm imagining. Not a burnt down rec.

I'm nowhere near London and we have some gorgeous parks here too with boating lakes, outdoor theatres, statue gardens, nature trails, mazes and cafes.

Don't get me wrong we also have some shit ones but I'm surprised so many posters seem to have jumped to the conclusion it will be taking place in a crappy patch of grass strewn with needles, fag ends and a group of semi drunk teens.

SeriaMau · 01/07/2024 19:50

What a creep. Block him and move on. You deserve so much better than this.

CanadianJohn · 01/07/2024 19:49

It's been 50 years since I went on "a date", so I am slightly out of touch.

I am bemused by the suggestions that a man should try to impress the woman by flashing money. I live in a comfortable sort of neighbourhood; I have little idea of people's financial status, but I am probably one of the poorer ones.

For me, it's about compatibility, not trying to impress. I like the idea of sitting in a park, chatting, to see if we are compatible.

Ksqordssvimy · 01/07/2024 19:47

Is this a park thing? As I'm in London and we are awash with lovely parks, pedellos, couples, cafes, rose gardens, lidos, views. That's what I'm imagining. Not a burnt down rec.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 01/07/2024 19:44

I think I’d have to ask him to clarify that - but actually I think I’d just say, no that doesn’t work for me.

Oblomov24 · 01/07/2024 19:43

What a tight wanker.

Cheesemongers · 01/07/2024 19:42

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MoonshineSon · 01/07/2024 19:42

RachelGreep87 · 01/07/2024 18:16

A lot of posters sound very grabby.

So true.

Ksqordssvimy · 01/07/2024 19:42

I don't think it's that odd. Postpone if raining, but would well prefer over museum

GalacticalFarce · 01/07/2024 19:42

SoComplicated · 01/07/2024 17:45

I wouldn’t mind walking around the park and then getting a coffee but just sitting there, no.

I was going to say this. It could be nice.

Dinkading · 01/07/2024 19:41

Everyone saying they'd love it seem to be convinced they're the only people who like parks. I love a good park but suggesting sitting in a park on a second date doesn't bode well, especially as it's one of the wettest years on record.a second date is time to impress, do something fun or at least a bit special!

Zone2NorthLondon · 01/07/2024 19:40

Literally depends on the park. Hyde park,the heath all lovely and lots of couples out together
If you like him,say you’ll initially meet park then suggest a bar and go halves

Iliketulips · 01/07/2024 19:39

If he seems nice enough, why not give him a chance - better than someone coming on too heavy and rushing you. Obviously depends on the park though - we got married in a building overlooking our main park in the town, lovely views.

You could always suggest going for a drink at local cafe or pub half way through, and that's not a bad back up plan if its raining - walk around park and do that.

Samedaysameshit · 01/07/2024 19:38

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Hey maybe the OP might take a fiver for the ice creams, it is 2024 after all .

Comedycook · 01/07/2024 19:38

Sounds shit to me and I wouldn't be seeing him again.

Differentstarts · 01/07/2024 19:38

I put yanbu when I first read your post as where I live our parks are full of 14 year olds drinking lambrini and cider and not somewhere adults go unless taking their toddlers but after reading what others say it depends on the park.

Demonhunter · 01/07/2024 19:36

Just take your MD 20/20 or white lightning and you're sorted!

Choochoo21 · 01/07/2024 19:36

I’d love this personally and don’t see it as being much different to sitting in a coffee shop/bar but if you don’t then perhaps suggest a compromise.

If it’s raining then that’s a good excuse to come up with another idea.

Perhaps find a local coffee shop and suggest getting a take out coffee if it’s sunny or sitting in if it’s raining.

Dinkading · 01/07/2024 19:32

You did the tight thing hy keeping the first date cheap and simple but the second and third dates are time to impress, I don't blame you for being disappointed. He's either cheap, broke or a bit dim.

JLou08 · 01/07/2024 19:28

It would be a perfect date for me. I'd be more impressed with this suggestion than the typical date at a restaurant.