to not understand people who never ask reciprocal questions in a conversation?

I do this 😳😭.

I think it's something to do with switching topics which I find hard. If the person goes on to start talking about themselves then I can ask questions after that point but I find it really hard to change track. I feel like I'm focussed on answering the questions and it's really hard to go from, "How was your holiday...." (and then lots of follow on questions) to then swapping to talk about their holiday... It's like my mind is in one track and it's really hard to switch it over. I realise what's happened when I post-analyse the conversation.

I used to have a friend who only asked me questions she wanted me to ask her. It was so Passive Aggressive. My best relationships are people who talk to me, and don't wait for me to question them. I'm actually pretty good at listening and then asking questions on topic to go further.

I did ‘read the fucking thread’ putting it in acronyms doesn’t make it any less rude as a response.
Maybe consider that not everyone is comfortable with a conversation where they are on the receiving end of questions about their personal life.
Don't you have other things to talk about ?

I love how some people are claiming the OP is the one without social skills.

A lot of people lack social skills and weren't taught that it's good manners to reciprocate in conversation, at least a little.

My Dad is like this. I'm afraid I don't seek out his company any more.

He is elderly and has few friends, so that's a shame, but I just feel so "invisible" after a few hours with him.

But I do agree with you. The other person does need to show some degree of interest in what you say for this to work and many people can’t manage that!

Could you consider that perhaps you talk too much? You could try pausing for longer, being comfortable sitting in companionable silence, then the other person can have time to collect their thoughts and talk themselves without the interrogation.

Here’s how you do it OP:

Like PP said, its quite hard to do that in the flow of a normal conversation and actually quite passive aggressive. Like [abridged version]:
Me: How's Alan?
Jane: He's alright. He's training for a marathon at the minute so I'm not seeing much of him.
Me: How's the training going?
Jane: It's okay. He's building up the distance every day. The marathon's in November so he's got plenty of time.
[Silence]
Me: Wow a marathon, I thought about doing one once but I couldn’t make time to train. I find it really hard to get time for exercise….

This.

Ok, well I wouldn't answer that bit of information with "my Dave is ok". Maybe talk about how much work a marathon must be, or that you'd love, or hate, to do a marathon, or something about exercise. Move the conversation on unless there's actually something you really want to tell her about Dave (in which case do that).

@SummerInSun that sounds like really bad training your Dh is getting!! I've never heard of anyone. religious or other who took offence at being asked if they had a nice Christmas break, asking if I keep a crib in my house is a different question. I think your DH needs to learn how to interpret the training, being someone who acts totally uninterested is on balance more offensive.

@BlownItJellyHead my Dad is like that and never asks about me or my life and it has really damaged my relationship with him.

I would have interpreted that as them not wanting to exchange personal information and id have switched to more general shit about TV or the weather or something instead of carrying on asking them personal questions

Me: How's Alan?
Jane: He's alright. He's training for a marathon at the minute so I'm not seeing much of him.
Me: How's the training going?
Jane: It's okay. He's building up the distance every day. The marathon's in November so he's got plenty of time.
[Silence]
Me: My Dave's doing okay. He's away with work next week. That's great for him but must be difficult for you. I am not seeing much of Dave either, he's working a lot and going away for work next week.

[Edit: not saying this is what you should respond, but that's how I would]

I am the same I find it exhausting and boring and feels like I’m being interviewed when bombarded with questions mainly because my life is quite vanilla and so the responses are usually ‘grand’ ‘alls good’, ‘alls fine’ blah blah.
With close friends we usually dive into gossip or plans for a night out, weekend away etc.

If I’m aware they or a loved one has recently been unwell or sat an important exams or they’ve been on a holiday for example, I will enquire after them / that but tend to avoid back and forth how’s such and such conversations.
Thankfully my friends are mostly the same so after the cursory ‘ how’s the gang’ opening question we move swiftly on to more important things to chat about.

Those people are self-centred fuckers. My brother is like it. He isn't interested in me, my life or family. He only ever wants to talk about how lonely he feels (is it any wonder) and how anything affects him - his wife is currently in hospital (been there almost a week) but he hasn't yet been to visit because it will make him sad...........

Only on MN could 'organic conversations' be a thing.

I have found this too, OP. I'm thinking in particular of people who love to answer the questions and will talk for ages with enjoyment, but won't say, "How about you?"

I can understand people who grew up being told asking questions is rude, but surely nobody thinks "Did you have a good holiday last week?" is a rude question.

Don't you tell people things about yourself op? Or do you always wait to be asked?

You can fill a lull in conversation with a comment or opinion or annecdote or really anything. It doesn't always have to be back and forth question and answer.

I had a very emotionally abusive childhood and I'm kind of weird as a result. I'm really guarded and don't like people asking me questions so I don't tend to ask others too many questions either. I get that it might make me 'hard work' as mumsnet like to say but childhood abuse can rewire your brain and I'm trying not to be hard on the adult that is formed me into. I'm nearly 40 and am who I am at this stage.

I've had this. One of the mums from primary, who was always at all the mum's do's, never ever asked me how ds2 was. In the end I just avoided her.