to not understand people who never ask reciprocal questions in a conversation?

You are not interested in your friends lives? I find that sad.

I have a friend who asks tonnes of questions and will give a really brief answer if you ask her anything and then immediately deflect with another question. She gives a very strong impression that she doesn’t want to be asked much, I have to really weasel information out of her. She has decided to cut off one of our friends because said friend “never bothers to ask her a question”. In my opinion said friend is just picking up on her vibe and doesn’t have time to formulate a question because she’s always answering them!

Another alternative is sometimes people just expect you to volunteer stories and information rather than sit there politely/passive aggressively waiting to be asked a question like my friend does.

As long as the other person is actively listening to you when you speak and showing an interest, laughing at anecdotes etc then I don’t think “asking questions” is necessary, you should both ideally just organically share what you want to and feel heard and appreciated.

I thought most people did this as that has been my experience so far. But maybe I was just unlucky to be meeting mainly self-absorbed people. I'm always the one who listens but rarely I meet someone who actually wants to listen too.

My DP doesn't really ask questions as is someone who is very chatty and volunteers lots of information so assumes that people will just share stuff. Is definitely interested

You may not know the person you are conversing with is ND. Reflexive questions are definitely not instinctual for many of us. We still pass as NT for the most part.

I sometimes find I fail in this. If there is a lull in the conversation, then I will certainly ask questions. But sometimes friends are just too quick for me! They will be in with the next question before I get a chance. While I am answering a question, I am giving all my attention to a thoughtful answer, not thinking ahead to my question. I don't think I'm really self-centred or uninterested, just a bit slow in conversation compared to some people!

You could be describing me. I hate answering questions about myself/my Dch but I do it to be polite. I'm not really interested in your kids/pets/whatever and only ask if I remember, again to be polite. I'm interested in what people think about interesting stuff and things that make me/them laugh. My opening is usually "On Mumsnet the other day,...".😄

Well it seems I am one of 'these people' as you so charmingly put it. As a child , and throughout my life until my fifties I was browbeaten and berated regularly by my parent to 'not be nosy', mind your own business', 'what's it got to do with you' , why do you think they want you to know'....... and on and on and on, until I had no self esteem and was scared stiff of asking anybody anything in case I was judged as that awful nosy person I was constantly told I was.

So no, it is not necessarily the me, me, me scenario, and not because we don't want to know. It's taken me another decade since they have no longer been in my life to believe in myself and actually push myself to ask people those - what are to you - simple questions.

So OP, get off your high horse and actually think about what that non-reciprocal person may actual have gone, or still be going through.

I was talking about this with someone the other day.

I have more than one set of friends where there are a couple of people who dominate the conversation and we get every in and out. I ask questions, I engage etc.

And then it dawned on me that I'm rarely asked what I'm doing and how I'm feeling. Made me feel pretty sad.

Try having more organic conversations where you aren't bombarding her with questions. I take you aren't Magnus Magnusson?

I know exactly what you mean, it seems really odd to me too!
I have a friend like this, my questions get answered fully, but then nothing follows on from that to ask about me and keep the conversation flowing!
I find it more exhausting than having a natural conversation, as I'm always having to find things to say and also feel nosey for asking questions so much!

They are so ‘Me! Me! Me!’ they feel everything should be about them. it doesn’t occur to them that anybody else does anything interesting enough that they want to hear about.