to not understand people who never ask reciprocal questions in a conversation?

I have to consciously think to ask questions. It doesn't come naturally, but I do do it.
There was a character in "Here we go" called Uncle Boyd who they called Void as talking to him was like talking into a void as he'd never ask question back.
Eg. Ella went to Sweden this Summer
Void : I went to Norway etc

I think it cuts both ways though, they may feel you are very inquisitive but tell them nothing about yourself. I am sometimes surprised at the questions people will ask, because my background would be more to share information about yourself and listen if they reciprocate, but not put them on the spot.

Obviously if they don't let you get a word in or yawn when you are talking, you should drop them. But have you tried just telling them what is going on in your life and volunteering information that hasn't been directly asked for?

But then you should be able to understand that others find it equally awkward to ask questions about your private life? It's the same opposite of the spectrum really.

There isn't ONE way to lead a conversation.
I manage conversations by volunteering information based on what the other person is telling me, if on top of this they are probing me on details I haven't volunteered then indeed we can easily spend 3h talking about me.
That's not what I want at all! I do get that it comes across as rude, so I try to adapt but it is difficult and I have to make an effort to remind myself to reciprocate the question (but that's usually followed by another series of questions about me!).

I get you OP.

Have SIL just like that, it's exhausting. I stopped making any effort to see her now as it was always just about her. I would listen to her for hours but she never asked me anything and if I spoke about me she wouldn't even last a few minutes before changing the subject/leaving to do something etc.

My boss is like this. Drones on constantly about herself. Can talk for hours. So boring.

Occasionally she'll remember social norms and will reciprocate.

I agree OP and over time I filter them out, however justifiable the reason may be doesn’t alter the fact that it’s one sided and can become dull same as people who talk about themselves and won’t spend more than a few word’s talking about your stuff

I fall under your umbrella of “people who don’t ask questions”. I too had it drummed in to me as a child that asking questions was intrusive and impolite (and being impolite was absolutely the worst thing I could do). I now have to really push and remind myself to ask questions, and often walk away from a conversation and think “oh crap, I totally forgot to reciprocate and ask how her husband is, I hope she doesn’t think I’m totally rude.” I also try to think back and remember something they’ve said before to show active interest - how’s the new job, how’s x getting on with his new piano class, etc. But sometimes I forget. Judging by your posts, maybe people do think I’m totally rude.

Id also counsel against a sweeping statement of “I’m not talking about people who are ND”. I’m pretty sure I’m ND, I’ve never mentioned it to anyone. Would you know if you were my friend? Possibly, possibly not.

Im much more comfortable in a conversation which flows without loads of questions - someone brings up their view on a topic, you give your view, maybe an example from your life, that prompts someone else, and on and on. Whatever we’re talking about, I’m interested in your views and experiences, I just might forget to ask you outright.

I get where you are coming from op, because I find a lot of people to be like this. I could ask “how was your holiday” for example and I will get a 40 monologue. That’s fine, I’m genuinely interested. But, they know I’ve just come back from holiday and they won’t ask how mine was? I know people that I could genuinely describe in intimate detail their entire lives, but they don’t know a thing about me! And if I do try and say anything about me, they turn it back to them. It is NOT uncommon! I don’t spend much time with these people now, for obvious reasons.

I find that when they're people I know really well, there's no need to ask about their kids or DHs. It might come up in conversation, and then we move on. We talk about other stuff. So don't be sad on my account.

I also would not want to be asked about my new rota shift 😁

Some people, maybe you are one of them OP 😁🫣, think it is the height of good manners to treat a conversation as an interview, firing question after question

I find these kind of conversations exhausting

I like random conversations about random topics, or for conversation to flow naturally, not a line of questions

Absolutely this, along with “nobody’s looking at you”, “don’t show off”. Talking in the car or at the dinner table was forbidden.

My DH has now done so much training at work on sensitivity, unconscious bias, micro-aggressions, etc, that he's terrified of asking anyone anything ever, at least in the workplace or casual acquaintances. Can't ask people whether they have kids - hurtful to people who might be having fertility problems. Can't ask people about where they went / are going on holiday - might be seen as making remarks about their financial standing or, worse, their ethnic background. Can't ask people if they had a good Christmas or Easter break - what if they follow a different religion? Can't ask people what they did on the weekend - invasion of their privacy. He will happily discuss any of these these things, but only if th le other person volunteers the information first.

Interrupting is classic ADHD, as is talking about yourself, at speed, to make sure you don't forget the very important thing.

It's actually really awkward to suddenly shift a conversation to be about yourself. If we've been talking about the other person for hours, I don't know how I can suddenly say "so anyway, about me...". You wait for the other person to turn the topic around to include you.

I was going to say that not everyone is that interested in you (speaking in general) but I guess it is a bit weird if she’s a friend. That said even if she is a friend she’s not necessarily going to ask after your husband if she’s not friends with him too. It depends how often you see her as well.

I've dumped friends that do this, and then actually have the audacity to interrupt me, when I attempt to speak about myself. I say that, my mil is exactly like this

I find being asked questions exhausting.

I wouldn’t do that to someone else.

If people want to tell me things then they will. I don’t need to interview them.

Some people like to share, some people are private. It’s not up to me to pride information from them.

Artists are the worst culprits for this. All my artist friends only talk about themselves and never reciprocate my questions.

Some people have better social skills than others.

Some are self absorbed.

Some are shy

Some people don't really want to talk to you or aren't interested in you

Then there are those who are ND or hand things on their mind that you've already excuse.

That's sounds like me, but I'm glad my friends aren't as judgemental as you.

Generally, I find it difficult/uncomfortable to quizz people about their private life, so with colleagues for instance if they don't volunteer the information I would rarely ask. Or I would ask very generic questions which aren't good conversation starters apparently.

With some friends I find that I'm bombarded with questions and by the time I have answered them all, there is no time left. I try to reciprocate but it's sometime difficult to find space to speak.

Honestly I generally don't have that issue with people who don't ask about every single detail of my private life. Surely there is a way you can rebound on what your friend is saying to redirect the conversation to you?