To think it's ok to holiday the summer before 11+?

I've had four children go through the 11+ - we went on holiday every summer beforehand and they probably did a max of 3 hours a week in the break, which was really just practising timings by that point.

If you are having to do hours of work every day in the holiday, I would gently suggest grammar school isn't the right setting.....

Go on holiday. Take the books with you on the plane if you must. It's not worth losing a holiday over and if he's really struggling this much, then it's not going to make a bit of difference to the outcome. Would he even be happy at a school where he could be constantly struggling to keep up?
For what it's worth, we did do, and pass 11+ after being away for 2 weeks in the school holiday. We took the work books and they did some in the car on the way.

To be fair to the op there could be many reasons why it’s not suitable. Those reasons are irrelevant.
we all have preferred schools for our
kids regardless of the area we live.

Hardly ,there are 163 Grammar schools in England despite what mumsnet would have you belive ,the vast majority of Kids are educated in Comprehensive s because Grammar don't exist in most LEA,s and haven't done in Decades.

Hot housing is disgusting. It's unfair on the child being bullied by their parents and it's unfair on the children with natural aptitude who should rightfully take that place. It's verging on abuse to deny a child a break from education to just be a child for a few weeks because you feel it will give you as parents kudos to have a grammar school child.

This is just so sad.
For me this is verging on bullying and controlling by parents to the detriment of child’s well-being.

As pp have said any child who needs extensive coaching to pass the 11+ coaching FOR A YEAR!) will surely not cope in the school anyway.

10 year olds need to be ‘10 ‘ not missing out on holidays because they are revising for the 11+ . Is he allowed to go outside to play / Xbox / friends over or sleepovers?
As for ruining his life - your DH needs to get a grip.

Reminds me of a young daughter of my DH friend - her extra curricular ‘fun’ activities are not fun as she has to excel in them all ( think music classes for violin/martial arts has to be achieving all levels and gets critiqued by her parent if she doesn’t do well in spite of the fact parent knows nothing about music or martial arts!)

Plus she has to do extra French tuition maths and English and has already started revising for her GCSEs which will be 2025. Poor kid never smiles and is clearly always tired and on edge.

Your husband is an absolute moron OP. Your child is 10, not even in a GCSE year. Of course he deserves a summer holiday and time with his grandparents. Do you have other children? Is he planning on behaving like this with them too?
Dear Lord, I hate pushy parents. Let the kid be a kid, he will do well at whatever school he is meant to be at

And, the nearby non-grammar school seems like it really, really would not suit him well

What do you mean by this? If he doesn't pass, he will presumably go to the local comprehensive (or possibly a secondary modern if you're in an all-grammar area). Like thousands and thousands of DCs do every year. Why wouldn't that suit him?

Well its becoming clear why I read so many threads about unhappy children in education. Hothousing is one sure way of making a child hate learning. And regardless of his score, which by the way could be impacted by anything uncontrollable that day. It won't make matter a jot if you now have a child stressed to the hilt!.

He needs a break, I studied Law in the 90s when it was brutal and I mean brutal. I took holidays because it isn't healthy not to. Leave the books etc at home - he needs fun and connection.

Absolutely this. Let him have a holiday!

YANBU and I say that as a parent who has been through it. We went away for 2 weeks at the start of the holidays and didn’t do anything then but worked hard for rest of time. However if they have got through the syllabus yet they do need to speed up and dedicate some good time whilst at home. If you want l offer something to pacify Dh then I would get a few of CGP’s 10 minute tests and do a few on each flight.

If CGP do the type of exam he is sitting them I highly recommend their timed papers - with an online audio track. Doing a bunch of these in the month before the exam really helped improved marks and being able to work within tight timings.

Jesus I didn't even realise people go to these lengths with their kids. Pushing parenting at its finest. If the kid is bright he will go far with or without a holiday.

We did an hour a day on a 2 week cruise, while the other DC went to kids club.

This shouldn’t even be a topic of conversation. If he’s going to struggle so much then he’ll struggle at grammar school.
Just ensure he does 30 minutes a day after breakfast or something.
Poor lad - so much pressure!

Like others we went (never occurred not to) but did an hour of study a day. Now must caveat that we were in the very fortunate position of being relaxed as to whether she got in or not as we had a good plan b.

This!!!

Please take him on holiday! Hes a kid who wants to see his grandparents. Your DH is being very mean. But surely if he has to study for a year for this test, even if he gets in he will struggle to manage when he starts there.

And threads like this make me so pleased we live in a county with NO grammar schools. Everyone here goes to secondary school and get to be kids for that bit longer!!

Poor kid will be locked in a box by year 9 onwards so there's absolutely no chance of him failing 🙄

2 HOURS DAILY 😮

No one is saying don't prep and practice.

But if you can't take a week or two off in the summer holidays because they are that behind or whatever, then no...

Isn't a long haul flight a great place to get a bit of study in as it's boring, dead time?

If he used the journey there and back he could have a decent break and still do some.

Perhaps he'll need to be a bit more intensive in the run up but with the promise of proper time off because that is really important.

Edit there were NO tutors

This is exactly what I was going to say!

I took 11 plus 30 years ago - there were tutors and we had no practice. The brightest kids went to grammar school, even though I was one of the brightest at my grammar I was outshone daily by exceptional girls.

My best friend is head of year at the same grammar now and she said I wouldn’t believe how many kids are struggling - they have been over tutored to pass the test and cannot cope with the speed of the work. Lots of them now rely on tutors in addition to school just to keep up.

if a week or two off would means he “fails” the believe me it’s not the right school for him

You are absolutely mad to even consider not going on holiday.

also I know of quite a few bright kids who should have passed who didn’t as nerves got the better of them. Please don’t put so much pressure on him

I hope your DH isn't saying this because he either doesn't want to go on holiday or will blame you if your DS doesn't pass.
Agree with others who say do the practice whilst on holiday.

Is there a cultural expectation on getting to a grammar?

unfortunately a lot of people have the wrong information that a grammar school is the only school worth going to in this country.