To envy friends with older children

I think when they are small IS the easy time.

When they are small you can solve most of their problems and you know where they are all the time.

When they are teenagers, it's way harder - and you miss the baby stages MASSIVELY

Dont wish it away - you will regret that

I think how your feeling is very valid and ok to feel that way , whatever age you have children it’s hard going everyone is sold the “ rainbows and unicorns “ of having a baby when the realism is as much as you love your children and would go the ends of the earth for them you just hit burnout . I had my first son a month before my 20th and my second son when I was 33 , I can honestly say both children and ages that I’ve had them have been challenging in their own way no way better or worse .

Your probably having all the “ feels “ at the moment as your pregnant and you’ll have your good days and bad days . Hang in there you’ve got this 💙

Your kids will get there. You’re just deep in the trenches right now. Leave the kiddos with hubby and take a morning/afternoon/evening then reciprocate for him.

plus you’re pregnant and dealing with a toddler. Probably the hardest time in your life.

those friends are missing the baby stage you’re in, if they ask if they can help - give them the toddler and RUN. lol. They will love it, and be exhausted, and think you are a superwoman.

and the ‘helpful’ family could be monsters in laws!

It is silly. You have all these stages and fantastic joys to come. Those who have past these stages may well be the envious ones. Just enjoy it.

Don't envy them. I actually sometimes hanker after how simple it was when my DC were younger. It gets much harder as they get older in many ways, although some things like not having to carry them is easier physically. But mentally it is tough.

My DC have SEN so not as independent as their peers either.

I do understand. It feels at the time like it will never end. But my daughter is 24 now and I would so love to spend one more day with my needly, cuddly little one.

I'm similar to you. Had my first at 31, and my second a week before my 36th birthday. I'm now just turned 37 with 6 year old and 1 year old. But most of my friends kids are same age or younger. We're in the thick of it right now but they will get older!! We'll be older too but not totally past it :)

I think teenagers are harder work. For context I do also have a 4 year old (who is mentally more like a 2 year old) so it's not a case of rose tinted glasses.
I'm sure if you talk to your friends with older kids they will tell you it's hard at every stage, just different worries. My eldest is nearly 18 and I still worry about her and have had some pretty major issues with her.

Little kids have littler problems, but god they can be hard work! Under wants are harder in a different way. Hang on in there.

Depends what your teens are like. I find parenting a teen far easier than a toddler.

I'm confused why you are pregnant with another but don't seem to be enjoying having small children. Teenagers are far more stressful tbh. This is the easy part

I disagree. Up to the age of 5 things got incrementally easier every 3-4 months here. When I had 2 under 2 I was constantly feeding, nappy changing, supervising. When one was potty trained life became easier. When the next one was potty trained, life became easy. They became able to get a cup of water independently and dress themselves. Once they start school you get to keep a bigger chunk of your wages. If you are part time, you might get some time when you aren't at work but the children in school (take out holidays, insets and strikes and it works out as not many, but still some).
You do lose evening time with your partner once they stop needing lots of sleep but it isn't as relentless as toddlers!

I think it’s just exhausting no matter what age you are. If you decide to have them young then you also need to work extra hard to make sure you aren’t left behind your peers career and financials wise. We had our dc at 23 and 25 and remember at one point I was working, doing a MA and renovating a house around looking after young children. True I had more energy for it all than I would have now I’m in my forties but it was still knackering. Life is a bit more peaceful these days! And your days like this will come too!

See I much much prefer teenagers to small kids. My own kids and their friends were good company as teens. Full of ideas ( some a bit pie in the sky ) plans and interesting chat.

That was their reality too, it’s the case for everyone who has kids. The likelihood is that they were envying you while they were looking after young kids and you never had any to worry about. It is exhausting, but I don’t think it matters whether you do it at 20 or 30. Enjoy your time with them as time goes so quickly. Everyone says that it does, but you don’t listen. I certainly never and now have an 18 year old who is out most nights no longer needing his Mum!

I had my first just before I turned 20, second at 26 and third just before my 30th. Instead of the ‘ease’ of a 10yo and nearly 4yo, I’ve thrown a baby in the mix again.

I know it’s hard at the moment but try not to wish this time away. It feels like minutes ago that I was cuddling my first baby. DH and I are definitely done having children (bring on the vasectomy!) so I am trying to just enjoy every stage with DS rather than be upset it’s my last or count down to easier times.

As it is, my 10yo has times of not being easy. We’re now dealing with technology issues, homework, endless clubs, attitude, hormones… My parents would probably argue that my sister and I aren’t easy now and we’re 30 and 33!

They probably envy your little ones and you being pregnant! Each stage has its pros and cons including older children and all the problems that brings. The sleepless stage will pass, but enjoy your babies while they remind young ❤️❤️

It’s hard work whatever age you’re at. I’m 50 and mine are almost 17 and 13, there are plenty of people having them much later than that. Those years are hard work up till teen years, after that you get other hard things to deal with. Having children is no holiday camp!

Well I always remember my dear nan when I said to her when I was pregnant that I am just realising I have to look after someone else for the next 18 years and she said 'No darling, it's for life'. I know how you feel though as I had mine at 30 and 35 and often think it would have been easier to have them younger, but then the vrass is always greener and those early years are hard whatever age you are it brings challenges.

I had two boys under two, in my early thirties, very hard work, but honestly it goes in a flash. My two are 23 and 21, they were very easy teens, DS2 was a very high needs, discontented baby, the first 7mths were hell tbh, and the reason a 3rd was totally off the cards. But it does get easier and they grow up quick.

I have teens, I miss my toddlers 😂

You envy people who have to spend less time with the children they chose to produce 😭🙄 Deary me.

The newborn/toddler years are incredibly exhausting. Once you’re through the other side the primary school/early secondary years are a delight. They’ve done their hard years whilst you had the freedom of no children, and your easier years are just around the corner - meanwhile they’ll be in the trenches with teenagers, which can be a whole different challenge.

It is easier when they are older, but then mine have all been easy teens, not rude in the slightest of Kevin the teen behaviour. I had my first at 16, last at 31. My brother had his girls in his early 20’s but has had a son at 48 with his new wife, they are both exhausted. It is harder when you’re older but enjoy the early years, they are lovely at that age, but yes hard work