To think having to walk away from my baby crying is the hardest thing I’ve had to do

I still hate leaving my youngest. He has never cried on drop off! He saw his bigger brother go in and I’m convinced he was pleased it was finally his turn. He quite enjoys it but I just love being around him and he’s quite content with me. My eldest just felt ready to go, even from a much younger age. Like he needed it. But I think I am acutely aware my youngest is my last and I want to savour it!

It takes little babies a bit longer to settle than older children, but she'll get there. The staff will have done this many times before and will be experts in distraction techniques! She'll be absolutely fine and so will you. One day she'll be going into nursery with barely a backward glance - that'll be hard for you too but at least you'll know she enjoys being there 🙂

I think with your first it’s tough you’ve no experience of leaving them or other kids and it is emotional, we are all different and I wouldn’t judge anyone for being upset leaving their child crying.
I am a paeds nurse so I’ve seen the worst of the worst, taken parents to theatre and brought the parents back up to the ward and when they are giving their child a cuddle and trying to not cry it gave me a lump in my throat, I’ve cried with parents before too, I’m a person and a mum and I’ve been upset leaving my kids (I’ve got 4) but by no3 and 4 I knew they were fine 3 minutes later usually if they were very upset I’d get a call to let me know they were settled and the nursery nurses were lovely so I was confident they would be fine and cared for.

I've just gone through it OP, ignore the other posters. It's easy to forget once you've got through it and are out the other side. My 1st barely batted an eyelid when I left her at nursery. The second gave me a look of pure despair and betrayal when I left her, whilst sobbing her little eyes out. I found it so hard to leave her. She's 8 weeks into it now and can honestly say there's no more guilt, she's settled, no more tears. It will happen for you providing yours is a good nursery, hang in there.

Agree with @gentlemum ,just ignore the race to the bottom a!
My daughter always cried when I left her but stopped after a couple of minutes and then she would cry when I collected her !

I was a nanny once, in another life.

Baby (actually about a year old) would howl until the car couldn’t be heard and then be fine. His world was coming to an end. Mum told me that once she did drive away, stop and come back on foot to peer through the window at two kids eating breakfast, chats and laughter.

Kids do howl at Mum. If they can make you feel bad, they can. Mum just has to get on with it. I have been known to console myself in more recent years by thinking that if it’s happening to me, it probably happened to my own Mum.

I don't understand why you would need to write this. Did you go off giggling if you heard your baby crying for you? whether or not you think it's hard or not, I'm sure we can all sympathise that it's hard to leave your baby

OP wasn’t looking for a competition. I’m sure she has had some other challenges in life.

Have some compassion or start your own threads if you want a showering of sympathy to overshadow someone else’s challenges.

I don’t need my own thread thanks. It’s not my fault the hyperbolic and hysterical language has made me roll my eyes a bit (and other people by the sound of it!). Plus it’s the question / title of the thread. I have children and yes they go to childcare so l do know the crying isn’t great

It's true. Some of us have had experiences in hospital with tiny children and babies we would rather have not had. My youngest was born very premature and I cried every day having to say goodbye to him to go home and look after three older DC, then back the next day to go through it all again...for five weeks.

It will get easier OP. My oldest has some anxiety issues that we're dealing with and he still occasionally gets upset in the mornings (he's 10) and I still hate leaving him upset but it has to be done. They're 99% of the time absolutely fine once mum is out the picture and have usually forgotten they were even upset if you ask them about it at pick up time!

I hope it gets better with your child, unfortunately in my case with my DS at nursery, it didn’t get better for a very long time. I have photos where he’s clearly been crying beforehand. This was attached to a school where is elder brother was, they even got him in to try and settle him, it didn’t work. He was such a happy confident child, but just wanted to be with me. He was fine when left with GP when I worked and happy to go on play dates without me. A nursery worker told me that he would grow into a confident person, which he has, he’s 28 now. I used to cry my eyes out, it’s so heartbreaking 💔

In that case make your own thread and you will get support there.
It's not like there's only one thread allowed every day and we have to decide who will be allowed to post

One of mine cried hysterically at drop off and never really settled properly. It still is one of the most upsetting things I have gone through. Maybe my life has been easier than most.

I needed this thread today. The guilt is excruciating. I really appreciate the responses from childcare workers stating how quickly children settle. I can't hear this reassurance too often! It's so hard to believe when I call and they say dc are happily playing if they seemed so upset only minutes before.

It'll get better. Sit outside the open window where she can't see you and I'm sure you'll hear the crying stops within a moment. My child's nursery used to have a one way window for this very purpose

Oh do fucking do one. My child has been going to nursery since 14 months old and at 4.5 still really struggles at drop off despite us trying absolutely everything and yes it is incredibly hard. We do it, but it's hard and it's upsetting. Learn some God damn empathy or don't post.

I agree OP, it’s awful. But it does soon get better.

This is unkind, unnecessary and invalidating.
Just because worse things happen, doesn’t mean she can’t be upset. It IS hard, and she’s allowed to feel horrible about it.
It is so damaging to invalidate other people’s feelings.

It’s hard but it does get better.
And it’s by no means, not even close, to the hardest thing you’ll ever have have to go through as a parent.

The second they can’t see you anymore they’ll be dancing around, full of joy and sparkles!

It gets no easier, mine was like velcro for a long time, had to be peeled off my legs many times but without doubt the worse was listening to her sob down the phone the day after we dropped her at uni. She's 40 odd now but with hindsight I should have gone back that day and brought her home

When I had this issue I felt the same. If you're able to manage it this might help as it did for me (realise of course all babies are different so might not work but it did with mine as he enjoyed nursery because of the toys and the company). I used to leave a little extra time for this, arrive early for drop off and sit baby on my lap, letting him see the toys etc, but wouldn't let him off my lap. After a while he got very bored seeing the others playing and would climb off and I'd go. First couple of times he'd whinge and I'd pick him up again but wouldn't let him down when he wanted to play. Eventually he worked out I'd stay but it was more boring, and then he'd be quite happy to trot off.

My baby struggled to settle in at nursery for the first 3/4 weeks too OP, and she always cried at hand over. But after the first couple of weeks she stopped crying once I had left her and started engaging in play.

It does take them time to get used to it but she's 21 months now and loves going there :)

It's hard to leave them though so I know how you feel x