To think having to walk away from my baby crying is the hardest thing I’ve had to do

Oh dear.. hope it gets better for you.
I was lucky.. mine only went to playschool and l helped out.

I remember this all too well and still get the pangs of guilt thinking back on the nursery days, my child is at school now.
I had to go back to work part time when my son was little over 6 months old. It was absolutely heartbreaking having to leave him inconsolable at the nursery drop offs, crying and reaching for me as I walked away.
I can still remember fighting back the tears on the train rides to work. It is a painful thing to endure.

It was the hardest thing I ever did too. I have had much worse things happen to me as part of the regular ups and downs of life. But I know exactly what you mean. I didn't have much choice either (money is important for food, clothes, shelter). But we are biologically programmed to feel distressed.

It will get better!
I always just go have a good cry in my car, and then get to work. I also used to ring nursery mid morning and see how she was and she had always stopped crying before my car had even left the car park!

I don't think anyone enjoys it OP but it does get better. Presumably this isn't a decision you took lightly- you will have good, logical reasons for why you decided to return to work. Remind yourself of those when things feel tough.
Getting into the new routine of being back at work after maternity leave can be really hard for the whole family at first but hang on in there, it will get easier with time. You're certainly not alone in having these feelings.

Working to provide the child a home food and clothes is definitely bloody important. Be real

What a nasty bitchy response

It doesn't last forever op we had a rough few weeks but toddler loves nursery now and we need to work so needs must

I arranged nursery so that dh did drop offs - not half the tears. Then I got to collect which was the best part! They will absolutely break your heart when you leave them; but mostly will be playing happily 5 minutes later.

DD was the same, she cried every single drop off for 3 months (started at just over a year) and would cry so much she would throw up. She would be reaching out for me as she was carried off to some toys screaming 'mama'. I cried the rest of the way to work every time.

Then one day she just suddenly stopped. It was like a switch was flicked and she was ok and she hasn't cried since. She'll just toddle off after a cuddle and go play.

Oh OP it's awful. Big hugs to you. My 2.5 yo is a few weeks into nursery and he's just starting to come round. My littlest will be starting childcare in autumn and I'm dreading it. She'll be just 1. It will get easier though, and you know she is being well cared for 🥰

It takes time for you both to get use to it.
It will get easier.
Gentle hugs

You're not alone.

I had to leave my 12yo DD at school crying today. She is autistic and struggles in the mornings.

@justmymonday I really sympathise with this. I went back when my DS had just turned 12 months. He took a couple of months to settle and it was agonising. He is a bit better now, but some days he really does just want to be at home.

One of the hardest, most traumatic things I've ever been through, but it gets better! (I haven't had the easiest life either before that poster pipes up).

If she's almost 1, she's probably hitting a peak of separation anxiety. I'm sending my baby a bit earlier this time in the hope of an easier transition.

It's hard. It gets better in time. One day he will happily trundle off to get stuck in with the staff and his little buddies.

My advice is make drop off as quick as possible. It only makes it worse the longer you linger. It should be a "here's baby, here's bag" and just walk away.

Yes its very sad, you have my empathy. How long has little one been going? Mine cried when I left during our settling in weeks and at drop off for the first month or so (2 days a week so around 8 drop offs). I was walking to work bawling. After a month she warmed up to it and after 6 weeks or so she was leaning out my arms to reach for the lady at the door! She has so much fun there. I wish I could go back in time and tell my maternity leave self because it gave me so much anxiety. I hope yours will be the same and settle in soon ❤

*Just read your update- aw bless you, this is very normal for the second week! Its a big adjustment for both of you. I'm sure she will be not giving you a second glance soon and then you'll be feeling a bit upset about that instead 😅

Parental guilt is just all consuming and it doesn't matter what you do or say or think it will be there. Big hugs 🫂

Mine boy went for the first time today for the whole day (he did 8 settling in sessions in June), and is going 4 days a week. He was 9 months over the weekend.
In our case he hasn't cried a tear yet, he doesn't even look back.
But my worry is that he goes so easily because I'm not close enough to him and we don't have a good bond because I had (have) PND. I wished he wouldn't wake up every time he slept for his first three months until I accepted I needed medication, and now I have horrific guilt about that.

Huh? If she was at uni she was an adult and could have decided for herself if she wanted to come home, surely? And she could have got public transport to get home.

Is she settled in nursery through out the day? That's what you should focus on aslong as she's settled after drop off that's the main thing. Lots of babies young children cry at drop off but are absolutely fine as soon as parent is out off sight.

It's so bloody hard, no matter what age. But when they're that small and can't convey how they're feeling it somehow feels worse.

Persevere with a heavy heart OP, it will get easier.

She'll soon learn that nursery is the place she goes to have lots of fun all day long, and she will quickly learn that mummy always comes back.

Have you tried leaving a piece of your clothing with her for the day? (I used to 'forget' my scarf and the nursery staff would encourage 3yo DS to look after it until I came back). Bear in mind this could backfire though... depends on whether your little one is more out-of-sight-out-of-mind or not

Oh OP, I so vividly remember driving to work sobbing myself after leaving a crying baby. It is awful, but it is temporary, I promise. This morning I dropped off one who ran into school and one who ran into nursery and was so busy chatting to his keyworker that he didn't actually say goodbye to me!

Whatever you have to do is not more important than your child, which is your most important job right now.

I couldn’t and wouldn’t do it. You feel guilty for good reason.

It's the worst OP, the guilt is in immense but know that a few moments later they'll be settled again having fun 🤍

I’ve gone through some really awful things in my life but leaving an upset child at nursery day after day was still one of the worst things I’ve had to do.
OP, trust your instincts. Some children don’t settle. I switched to a childminder and it was much better.