DH took our DD2 trampolining in her pyjamas

This is nothing to do with pretty, this is to do with basic hygiene.

Accepting shit standards? For one day?🤣 there’s a hell of a lot worse he could do

it's frightening how some people have such low standards.

What kind of slob leaves a kid in pjs all day?

There's nothing wrong with getting all mucky, muddy and rolling around in the dirt with Dad. But not brushing teeth, hair or getting them dressed in the first place just shows a complete lack of care or consideration for the child. As a pp said, I presume he got himself washed and dressed. He either doesn't have a clue about how to care for a child, doesn't see her as a human or is simply lazy.

I'd sit down with him and explain that he needs to get her washed and dressed before he takes her out, if nothing other than teaching her it's important to have a level of personal hygiene.

I was a child in the 60s and even then fathers would have been expected to know that children needed to be dressed and washed before going out in the morning. As you say, it is not brain surgery.

I think given that she's two there is zero issue with her wearing pajamas.

He did the fun thing, but he needs to focus on the boring daily parent things. The routines, the getting dressed, hair, wash, bath, meals etc etc etc. And he needs to be involved and doing this every day as he is a parent every day not just on a Sunday morning.

I'm with you.

Lazy sod

That's not the problem. No-one has criticised that.
It's the parenting care beforehand which is wanting.

I am utterly staggered that you dont. You must have incredibly low standards.

Have you asked him “why?” OP? If you said “why didn’t you get her dressed, brush her teeth and and brush her hair? What would he say? “It was too much hassle” “I couldn’t be bothered” “she refused to get ready” “I wasn’t aware young children needed to be dressed in public and brush their teeth”

I’m imagining a reverse of this thread where a Mum posted “I took my daughter to a trampoline centre and the park in her pyjamas without brushing her teeth or hair” I think most people’s first question would be “why?”

'Helping' her?

A one off I can get over it.

A pattern of lazing and shit parenting? No.

"Not the end of the world" is a really low bar to have.

He is probably helping you in that you now only need to wash her pyjamas!

Sweet lord. So OP should be thankful?!

I agree with @CointreauVersial, @Edenmum2 - it's not the end of the world. Yes, he should have got her dressed - going out in PJs was not ideal - but bringing her back filthy shows she had lots of fun. Girls need to know that they don't have to look pretty and clean and impeccably dressed all the time - they can run around and play in the mud and get grubby just as much as the boys can - and it's good for them!

Another pathetic man child who wants a public fanfare for doing normal things with his child. I would be mortified if my child had been taken out in this state.
This is not the kind of man you would want having your child 50/50 in a divorce.

At least he took her - ah, come on now, can't you see what we're talking about here? Low bar for dads?
Why didn't your DH take his children to their activities?

At least he took her - on the odd days DH was home with the children and I wasn't there and they were due clubs and activities he would decide they were better staying home.

It's washing and dressing a two year old. Most kids of 8 could manage that task and many do - to help and show how big and grown up they are now. Pretty poor show if he can't figure it out himself.

It's done now so I guess just make it one of those funny stories when she's older "remember when Dad took you trampolining in your PJs"

Not cleaning teeth would bother me. Hygiene is basic.

Pyjamas wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. But I’m surrounded by slightly crunchy bohemian parents here and she wouldn’t stand out in the slightest.

@ageratum1 putting clothes on a child isn't exactly brain surgery is it? 😂

Why would any parent not know how to dress their own child? It's not the mum's "job" to dress the children, it's the parent's responsibility 50/50.

Fuck me, we're not in the 1950s people.

Yes it would annoy me, if you are leaving the house at least change pyjamas and definitely do their teeth!

It wouldn't bother me if it was a day at home and pyjamas weren't changed as long as teeth were done and they had a bath and clean pyjamas for bed. It also wouldn't bother me if my husband inadvertently put clean pyjamas on instead of leggings although if they were obviously pyjamas I would be raising an eyebrow.

I don't have high standards, I will happily leave the house makeup free and in tracksuit bottoms and a hoody but they are clean and my teeth are done, hair brushed or put back. I expect the same for my children, wear what you like as long as it's appropriate and basic hygiene is done.

And don't forget, she gets the lie in because she does the night wakenings. All of them. Two years of broken sleep for her, a few hours of shoddy care on a Sunday morning for him.

What a hero, eh?

Well if his day job is nursing, probably not. If his day job is putting clothes on small children I would say "yes"

To be fair, @Daisy12Maisie , you're an adult, you're understandably exhausted, and making your own decisions. I'm sure that most of the time your self care is good!
This is about a dad and a small child.
Parents are always putting in effective routines and modelling good behaviour. So much so, that a child will get into the habit of finding clean clothes, washing their hands and face and brushing their hair from quite early on. An occasional lapse? No problem, but otherwise I think it's lazy, and only selecting the fun parts of being a dad.