DH took our DD2 trampolining in her pyjamas

I think it’s funny and sounds like she had a great time. Edited to say as long as she had a coat on and yes teeth should be brushed.

I'm "that poster" - and if someone repeatedly saw a parent bring a child in inappropriate clothing with unbrushed hair and a general unkept appearance, they could well call social services.
As I say, I've been on so much safeguarding training and this is exactly what they ask us to look out for - a one off, fine. Repeatedly? Call it in.

This. I would be very annoyed with him.

Check your standards. They’re extremely low.

this child’s dad cant be arsed to brush her teeth, dress her or brush her hair. He’s proud of himself for not doing any of that. If mum gets poorly and dads in charge and doesn’t brush his own kids teeth then of course that’s neglect. The only reason she’s been fed and cleaned is because of mum. Your bar is very low.

You piranhas are acting as if this child hasn’t had a bath, teeth brush and a proper meal in months.

@thebestinterest it sounds as though the reason she has had a bath, brushed teeth and decent food is because mum makes sure of it. Dad hasn't. If only one parent actually parents and the other waltzes in and just has fun, is that fair? Mum does every night waking and dad can't brush teeth once a week. Do you really think that's up to snuff?

Not brushing her teeth is neglect

what difference does "being 2" makes? If anything it's worst, she is too young to do it herself.

It is borderline neglectful not to put clothes on and have basic minimum hygiene.

Did he go to the park in his pjs without brushing his teeth? Unless you are seriously ill, it's the least you could do, care for your kids.

I didn’t say she was neglected, there’s no need to have a weird little tantrum.

This is absolutely ridiculous. How neglected is this child because she didn’t wear “proper” clothes or brush her hair before a jump at the park? 😂 she’s two! Ffs. You piranhas are acting as if this child hasn’t had a bath, teeth brush and a proper meal in months. Seriously. Check yourselves 🤦🏾‍♀️

OFGS
Some men don't care what they or their kids look like so would throw on anything
Some mothers and children do. So they take care and trouble

That's the point

Not my experience either.

Not the men I know

"I think you are lucky that you have a partner who will take her out on a Sunday morning"
You see, I don't think that's "lucky". I think he's being a dad. The mum is doing a lot, he's (rightly) sharing the load. However, so many women are conditioned to expect so little from men that effectively sharing of parental engagement means that a woman is lucky. 😕

@PollyPut I agree as a once off. Indeed I twice sent my then 2 year old to nursery in pyjamas because she insisted and wasnt going to change her mind. The choice was going or not going. What I was replying to were the number of people that said their partners cannot differentiate between pyjamas and other clothes. How is that possible? Really? Should we accept that men are really incapable of doing this? My 3 now 2 year old can differentiate pyjamas and day time clothes.
I also think many men delibarately keep standards on childcare low so that they do not share care duties fairly with women. We know how overburdened most women are. So lets demand a bit better of men and how them to account. Otherwise women will remain overworked and under-appreciated.
But overall, yes as a once off thing, no big deal

It would annoy me because it's just basic parenting to get your child dressed when they are going out. His standards may not be as high as yours but it's not too much to expect that she left the house washed and dressed.

I'd tell him.

Probably rushing as usual, but also he said he could see how they were PJ pants compared to sweats, they were purple with animals all over, nothing like the sweatpants and shorts in the other drawer.

Of course it is about that because mums don’t generally get a hand hold with simple parenting tasks, even when they are working.

He can do the clothes the night before too, nothing is stopping him.

I definitely do way more of the parenting than him, and almost 100% of the mental load, and I know this needs to be addressed.

Your daughter is 2? How did it get to this point?

Patterns, once set, can become entrenched and hard to change.

@GingerScallop I don't think this is a hill to die on.

If they are not obviously pyjamas - I think you are lucky that you have a partner that will actually take her out on a Sunday morning, give you a lie in and bring her home safe and in one piece (I assume she was sensibly fed, watered and had not hit her head on a trampoline)? Many many parents would just keep them at home instead. It is a bit lazy yes and now they need a wash as she can't sleep in them so it's extra washing. Presumably she has others to change into for the next night

I am sure that if you were hospitalised he'd make sure she changed into day clothes then. He generally sounds pretty capable.

On the other hand, not brushing teeth is more of a problem in the long run - presumably he brushed his own? That is the one I'd be more worried about

At the weekend it doesn't matter what they wear, and there is usually no rush so if our girls take an hour to decide what they want to wear, so what. On school days it does matter, both that they have correct clothes on for that's days activities and that they are quick so they aren't late.

True re pink and orange, and that's partly why he asks me to do it as I take the mickey out of the outfits he used to put them in, so thank you for the learning point on that one, I will try to be a bit less OCD about what they wear 😂. I guess if we want them to do more we have to let go a bit.

This just isn't on. Such low standards for men amongst many posters here.

Yes, this exactly. My husband might not have been bothered about e.g. co-ordinating DS's green and blue striped top with his blue trousers and green hoodie and make sure his socks matched, but he did always make sure he was clean, freshly brushed and wearing clean, appropriate clothes.

Nursery used to joke that they could always tell which of us had dressed him for the day, but they wouldn't have been able to tell just based on cleanliness.

I have seen threads in the past where female posters have been criticised for letting their children sleep in uniform so they can get for school in the morning faster, but it's fine if a man takes a child out for the day wearing the PJs she slept in?

What happens when you’re away from home - girls weekend or work trip - surely you don’t set out the children’s clothes in advance? DH is a parent, if he wants to dress DS in pink and orange, so what?