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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be an equally shit neighbour?

211 replies

SkyeB86 · 30/06/2024 17:48

In 2019 a new family moved in next door and immediately they started acting a problem. Then lockdown happened and it escalated. Big heavy basketballs thud constantly from morning till night, kids (6 of them) scream at each other (and I mean blood-curdling screams at times) they think it's fine to jump into my garden whenever they fancy. I had a word with the dad, his response was that other than them jumping in my garden, they're not breaking any laws so he wouldn't be telling the kids to quiet down. Fair enough, they're not.

So I've bought some Bluetooth speakers. Whenever they get too noisy, I play music in my garden which effectively drowns them out, and can only be really be heard from NDNs garden. The dad has this weekend asked me to keep it down.

AIBU to think that if they can have the 'fuck everyone else' attitude, then so can I?

OP posts:
mountaingoatsarehairy · 30/06/2024 18:45

Yeah they deffo wouldn’t do it if you were a single male covered in tattoos.

keep going. In fact I’d move it up a level by playing songs like ‘oh so quiet’ etc by Bjork

beckybarefoot · 30/06/2024 18:45

SkyeB86 · 30/06/2024 18:41

Good point. Although I've got endless footage from my cameras of them coming into my garden, which I think I could report to the police for repeated trespassing. Oh and damage, when one of the teenage lads decided to take a penknife to my fence. They know it's only me and my daughter here, I do wonder if they'd have done the same if I had a big burly bloke here!

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oh this is getting silly now... firstly... tresspass is a civil matter not a police one, although as i suggested, speak to the local PCSO and see if you can mediate with the neighbours next door.

criminal damage? to what? sure contact the police and make a report, waste a bit of their time.

you sound like a miserable sod who just doesn't like to hear kids playing. I shall leave you to your borign sad little life

TheLadyOfTheFlowers · 30/06/2024 18:42

Whenever they get too noisy, I play music in my garden which effectively drowns them out, and can only be really be heard from NDNs garden.

YANBU at all, but how can you play music that ONLY your annoying NDNs can really hear?

Original poster
SkyeB86 · 30/06/2024 18:41

beckybarefoot · 30/06/2024 18:40

what was not sensible about speaking to the council or keeping a noise diary?

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Never suggested it wasnt, Becky.

OP posts:
Original poster
SkyeB86 · 30/06/2024 18:41

TipsyKoala · 30/06/2024 18:38

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, however from the point of view of councils you cannot complain about the sound of children playing but you can complain about loud music.

Good point. Although I've got endless footage from my cameras of them coming into my garden, which I think I could report to the police for repeated trespassing. Oh and damage, when one of the teenage lads decided to take a penknife to my fence. They know it's only me and my daughter here, I do wonder if they'd have done the same if I had a big burly bloke here!

OP posts:
beckybarefoot · 30/06/2024 18:40

SkyeB86 · 30/06/2024 18:39

Thanks to those that have sensibly responded. I dont think some quite realise what 12-14 hours some days of constant thud thud thud can do to a person. Guess there's a reason the Chinese used it as a form of torture. Plus working from home during holiday can be a fecking nightmare. I asked them to quiet a little, and got a firm no. But from most the responses I'm doing nothing wrong, and only acting in the same vein as them (not breaking any laws 😜), so I'll crack on with my tunes 😁

what was not sensible about speaking to the council or keeping a noise diary?

AhBiscuits · 30/06/2024 18:40

My neighbours disturb us with their music all the time, it's usually loudest when I'm trying to get the kids to bed. My kids aren't screamers, except for when a couple of their local friends pop by and then they make hell of a noise. I make no attempt to get them to keep the noise down.

CommeUneVacheEspagnole · 30/06/2024 18:39

What was your response to him? I don't think it's rude to say "I play it loudly to drown out the noise of your kids. Perhaps if they made less noise?"

That being said, is it even possible for six kids to make a reasonable amount of noise?

suburburban · 30/06/2024 18:39

Yanbu

They could keep the noise down

Original poster
SkyeB86 · 30/06/2024 18:39

Thanks to those that have sensibly responded. I dont think some quite realise what 12-14 hours some days of constant thud thud thud can do to a person. Guess there's a reason the Chinese used it as a form of torture. Plus working from home during holiday can be a fecking nightmare. I asked them to quiet a little, and got a firm no. But from most the responses I'm doing nothing wrong, and only acting in the same vein as them (not breaking any laws 😜), so I'll crack on with my tunes 😁

OP posts:
TipsyKoala · 30/06/2024 18:38

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, however from the point of view of councils you cannot complain about the sound of children playing but you can complain about loud music.

beckybarefoot · 30/06/2024 18:37

SkyeB86 · 30/06/2024 18:35

Ok Becky. Calm thyself.

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im perfectly calm thank you,... you however appear to be getting a wee bit rattled!

i notice you are chosing to ignore my sensible suggestions.. have a lovely evening, perhaps it will rain where ever you are and then the kids will go play inside.

Original poster
SkyeB86 · 30/06/2024 18:35

beckybarefoot · 30/06/2024 18:34

this

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Ok Becky. Calm thyself.

OP posts:
Original poster
SkyeB86 · 30/06/2024 18:34

This reply has been deleted

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Knew there'd be one trying to insult me with the 'karen' jibe 😂

OP posts:
beckybarefoot · 30/06/2024 18:34

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this

beckybarefoot · 30/06/2024 18:34

SkyeB86 · 30/06/2024 18:30

Why are you so angry? 😂 It's music I'm playing, I'm not throwing grenades over the fence, becky

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what makes you think i am angry? i can just see it from both points of view.. i think that you playing music so loud that it annoys only your neighbour is just asking for trouble.

what makes you qualified to decide what is a reasonable amount of noise that children should make?

i've suggested contacting the council, I've suggested a noise diary.. i am assuming that you've already tried this route and been advised they are not causing an issie.. so you have taken matters into your own hands.

Xsnsnshsjs · 30/06/2024 18:33

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Original poster
SkyeB86 · 30/06/2024 18:30

beckybarefoot · 30/06/2024 18:26

the op has said that they play music in a way that only the NDN can hear...

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Why are you so angry? 😂 It's music I'm playing, I'm not throwing grenades over the fence, becky

OP posts:
beckybarefoot · 30/06/2024 18:26

ifIwerenotanandroid · 30/06/2024 18:24

his children are not intentionally making a noise to disturb you, this is what kids do and are entitled to do, you on the other hand are intentially making a noise to disturb them!

As I read it, OP isn't playing music in order to disturb NDNs but to drown out their noise while not disturbing any other neighbours. That seems reasonable, because NDN adults already have the noise of their kids in their own house & garden & apparently they don't mind that.

the op has said that they play music in a way that only the NDN can hear...

ifIwerenotanandroid · 30/06/2024 18:24

his children are not intentionally making a noise to disturb you, this is what kids do and are entitled to do, you on the other hand are intentially making a noise to disturb them!

As I read it, OP isn't playing music in order to disturb NDNs but to drown out their noise while not disturbing any other neighbours. That seems reasonable, because NDN adults already have the noise of their kids in their own house & garden & apparently they don't mind that.

IncompleteSenten · 30/06/2024 18:23

Tell him oh sorry about that, I struggle to hear my music over other noises. Maybe get your kids to make a little less noise and I won't have to play it so loud in order to hear it.

He'll know what you are actually saying.

beckybarefoot · 30/06/2024 18:21

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neilyoungismyhero · 30/06/2024 18:19

Well like he said to you no laws are being broken..he can jog on

CIAGBF · 30/06/2024 18:19

My neighbours were like this - fire with fire was the only approach that worked with them, and it has worked well. If they are disturbing you and don’t care there is absolutely no reason you should care when you drown them out with your music.

Original poster
SkyeB86 · 30/06/2024 18:17

beckybarefoot · 30/06/2024 18:14

whats a resonable level? reasonable for who? you i guess!

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I think most reasonable people know full well what a reasonable level is

OP posts: