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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be an equally shit neighbour?

211 replies

SkyeB86 · 30/06/2024 17:48

In 2019 a new family moved in next door and immediately they started acting a problem. Then lockdown happened and it escalated. Big heavy basketballs thud constantly from morning till night, kids (6 of them) scream at each other (and I mean blood-curdling screams at times) they think it's fine to jump into my garden whenever they fancy. I had a word with the dad, his response was that other than them jumping in my garden, they're not breaking any laws so he wouldn't be telling the kids to quiet down. Fair enough, they're not.

So I've bought some Bluetooth speakers. Whenever they get too noisy, I play music in my garden which effectively drowns them out, and can only be really be heard from NDNs garden. The dad has this weekend asked me to keep it down.

AIBU to think that if they can have the 'fuck everyone else' attitude, then so can I?

OP posts:
FeelingHotHotHotFeelingHotHotHot · 30/06/2024 21:58

12345mummy · 30/06/2024 21:56

I do agree you should ask him to turn his noise down before resorting to headphones though!

Exactly this. Why the fuck should anyone have to resort to noise cancelling headphones because of some shitty inconsiderate arsehole of a neighbour?!

The answer to all life's problems on Mumsnet! Noise cancelling headphones! FFS! Hmm

12345mummy · 30/06/2024 21:56

I do agree you should ask him to turn his noise down before resorting to headphones though!

Bearybasket · 30/06/2024 21:56

The police do respond to complaints about music being played too loud, as my younger sister just recently found out the hard way 😬
We’re in Scotland though so it might be enforced differently in England, and I think it may only be past a certain time

12345mummy · 30/06/2024 21:54

Have you considered noise cancelling headphones OP? I know it’s an expense and there will be times you don’t want to have headphones on but, they are glorious!

Original poster
SkyeB86 · 30/06/2024 21:46

Sorry, meant to clarify - he asked me via Facebook messenger. I haven't replied yet, but yeah think I'll be direct and say if he's willing to tell his little asbo-darlings to keep the noise down then I'll gladly do the same 😂 normal kids noise I can handle. I have a daughter and always enjoyed her laughing and playing with her mates. But this is something else the boiling crabs analogy was good. Basketball-playing crabs 😂

OP posts:
InTrainingForChristmas · 30/06/2024 21:36

countcalculia · 30/06/2024 19:29

You keep saying you’e leaving it and then keep coming back. Make up your mind.

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This ⬆️⬆️

Whatever anyone says in favour of the OP, you make some sort of bleeding-heart defence of the squawking ball bouncers topped off with a dramatic ‘well, I’m off’ comnent, only to return time and time again with even dafter comments!
If you’re going, Go!!

Rosscameasdoody · 30/06/2024 21:36

Be honest. Tell him that the music is in response to the shite they’re putting you through, so when the kids quieten down, so will the music.

JohnSt1 · 30/06/2024 21:34

You have my sympathies OP. I have neighbours whose girls' shrieks sound like a thousand crabs being boiled.

Original poster
SkyeB86 · 30/06/2024 21:27

Never thought I'd have classical symphonies, Chas and dave and Arctic monkeys on the same playlist, but here we are! 😂 thank you all for the laughs tonight 😆

OP posts:
Original poster
SkyeB86 · 30/06/2024 21:24

Runnerinthenight · 30/06/2024 21:05

The other neighbours are probably relieved too if it's drowning out the racket of this entitled, selfish and ill-disciplined family!

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Tbh this is actually true. They're known around here for being loud and causing trouble when they're out playing. However my speakers are strategically positioned to not annoy anyone else. I know and am friendly with all the closeby neighbours - all confirmed no noise can be heard

OP posts:
meimyself · 30/06/2024 21:23

Yeah it's fair enough

Original poster
SkyeB86 · 30/06/2024 21:21

meimyself · 30/06/2024 21:09

You might find your neighbour doesn't care about noise like you do

Then that's win-win, surely? As amused as I am by some of the gold suggestions on here 😂 my purpose is to block out the noises that make me want to tear off my ears - primarily the incessant screaming and ball bouncing

OP posts:
Lifeomars · 30/06/2024 21:10

GB81 · 30/06/2024 20:02

Total Eclipse of the Heart on repeat

Mine hate Artic Monkeys and Paul Weller, blast either of them out and they shut the doors and that does cut the level of noise. I found an old Paul Weller greatest hits CD with 23 tracks and blasted it out on my DAB radio/CD player, door slammed shut within 5 minutes

Runnerinthenight · 30/06/2024 21:09

NothingVenturedAndAllThat · 30/06/2024 19:54

I'd say 'I'm not breaking any laws, so I won't be keeping it down' 😉

I think he's right to let his kids be annoying tbh. They're not annoying forever. But you also have the right to be annoying. Isn't the phrase live AND LET live?

Why do you think he's right to allow his children to be an annoyance to his neighbours? Only a person with zero manners would think that.

meimyself · 30/06/2024 21:09

You might find your neighbour doesn't care about noise like you do

Runnerinthenight · 30/06/2024 21:06

beckybarefoot · 30/06/2024 19:26

perhaps given the above we should as the OP is they have, along with contacting the council to make a noise complaint, kept a noise diary, they add a safeguarding referral to SS as well, to look into the constant screaming these children are doing, because as you say, perhaps they are injured..

you know you are being ridiculous. the OP is being ridiculous... i suspect they have already complained to the council, as they are very obviously ignoring these suggestions, and i suspect the council have told them that its reasonable to expect noise from children playing.

when children play, they make a noise! its what children do.. and to expect them to not make a noise so they don't upset the grumpy nect door neighbour does not make them bad children...

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No, that'll be the bad parents doing it.

Runnerinthenight · 30/06/2024 21:05

WayOutOfLine · 30/06/2024 21:04

How can you make sure that the music is very loud to drown out 6 kids, but doesn't disturb all the other neighbours? I don't know how this can occur...

The other neighbours are probably relieved too if it's drowning out the racket of this entitled, selfish and ill-disciplined family!

WayOutOfLine · 30/06/2024 21:04

How can you make sure that the music is very loud to drown out 6 kids, but doesn't disturb all the other neighbours? I don't know how this can occur...

Runnerinthenight · 30/06/2024 21:04

beckybarefoot · 30/06/2024 19:26

perhaps given the above we should as the OP is they have, along with contacting the council to make a noise complaint, kept a noise diary, they add a safeguarding referral to SS as well, to look into the constant screaming these children are doing, because as you say, perhaps they are injured..

you know you are being ridiculous. the OP is being ridiculous... i suspect they have already complained to the council, as they are very obviously ignoring these suggestions, and i suspect the council have told them that its reasonable to expect noise from children playing.

when children play, they make a noise! its what children do.. and to expect them to not make a noise so they don't upset the grumpy nect door neighbour does not make them bad children...

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Nice made-up little scenario there but a load of shite.

I never had a complaint from anyone about my children making excessive noise because they were brought up with discipline and taught consideration.

OP did not "expect them to not make a noise" [sic].

She wanted them to tone it down!

Runnerinthenight · 30/06/2024 21:00

beckybarefoot · 30/06/2024 19:19

never mentioned the police did i? the council deal with noise complaints, although im not sure what offence knowingly allowing and intentionally ensuring minors hear lyrics you suggest?

the OP is not partying, they are not having friends round... they are playing, at your suggestion, sexual lyrics at volumn for minors to hear.. on purpose.

very very different to a party....

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How is that different to a party, except that your party would probably be a lot louder?

What law prohibits a person playing music in their own garden?

JudgeJ · 30/06/2024 20:58

Singersong · 30/06/2024 17:53

My response would be something along the lines of-

"I use the speaker to drown out the excessive noise from your house. Stop giving me a need for it and both our problems will be gone."

Can I recommend the 1812 Overture for this purpose?

Runnerinthenight · 30/06/2024 20:56

beckybarefoot · 30/06/2024 19:10

absolutely... its your house!

its within the boundaries of your own home.. the law says you can party all day if thats what you want to do.

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Indeed it doesn't!

Runnerinthenight · 30/06/2024 20:55

beckybarefoot · 30/06/2024 19:07

Do people seriously not think that children should not be allowed to be children in their own home?

i am truely shocked, and dispair at society today..

The OP alledgedly plays music so loud into their neighbours garden, but it would appear they don't hear this music themselves?? to drown out the noise of the neighbours children.... how does the Op hear the neighbours children if they are making that much noise, yet they can't hear the music they are blasting over the fence??

I shall leave it here.. it doesnt make any sense

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I am truly shocked and despairing at society today that someone actually think their little darlings are so entitled that they shouldn't moderate their volume in order to be considerate!

Growing up I lived a couple of large field lengths away from the nearest neighbour and we weren't allowed to make too much noise outside, and would have been brought in the house if we did! It's perfectly possible and utterly reasonable.

Glad I don't live near anyone with your mindset.

Geekylover · 30/06/2024 20:52

Absolutely ok I say. I could be friends with someone like you 😂

Runnerinthenight · 30/06/2024 20:51

beckybarefoot · 30/06/2024 19:03

Kids can be as loud as they want in suitable recreational spaces.

like their own home?

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Not if it's excessive and it's disturbing neighbours.

It's called consideration. It makes everyone's lives easier.

I'm surprised you didn't laugh in his face, @SkyeB86! Talk about double standards! I would crack up if 6 kids moved in next door to me!