to be an equally shit neighbour?

SkyeB86 · 2024-06-30T16:48:54+00:00

In 2019 a new family moved in next door and immediately they started acting a problem. Then lockdown happened and it escalated. Big heavy basketballs thud constantly from morning till night, kids (6 of them) scream at each other (and I mean blood-curdling screams at times) they think it's fine to jump into my garden whenever they fancy. I had a word with the dad, his response was that other than them jumping in my garden, they're not breaking any laws so he wouldn't be telling the kids to quiet down. Fair enough, they're not. So I've bought some Bluetooth speakers. Whenever they get too noisy, I play music in my garden which effectively drowns them out, and can only be really be heard from NDNs garden. The dad has this weekend asked me to keep it down. AIBU to think that if they can have the 'fuck everyone else' attitude, then so can I?

OhcantthInkofaname · 03/07/2024 00:58

Do you have the means to record their noise? If so record and play it back.

BigAnne · 02/07/2024 15:37

WearyAuldWumman · 02/07/2024 15:12

I have an acquaintance who was offered mediation. It didn't work because the other neighbour refused.

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Hopefully in this case both parties are smart enough to agree. There's nothing to lose.

WearyAuldWumman · 02/07/2024 15:12

BigAnne · 02/07/2024 11:37

Your local council should offer a neighbour dispute resolution service. This is offered where I live (Scotland). You should find information on their website. These situations can escalate out of all proportion with neither side willing to back down .... misery all round for everyone.

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I have an acquaintance who was offered mediation. It didn't work because the other neighbour refused.

Elliebeli · 02/07/2024 14:50

beckybarefoot · 30/06/2024 18:40

what was not sensible about speaking to the council or keeping a noise diary?

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This method does not work at all.

12345mummy · 02/07/2024 14:26

FeelingHotHotHotFeelingHotHotHot · 30/06/2024 21:58

Exactly this. Why the fuck should anyone have to resort to noise cancelling headphones because of some shitty inconsiderate arsehole of a neighbour?!

The answer to all life's problems on Mumsnet! Noise cancelling headphones! FFS!

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It was a suggestion for the OP to consider if the neighbour won’t ask his kids to be quiet. I personally find them great. No need to get agressive.

Cas112 · 02/07/2024 14:03

Tell him you only have it on when you can hear the kids and dont want to listen to them

Elliebeli · 02/07/2024 12:51

beckybarefoot · 30/06/2024 18:34

what makes you think i am angry? i can just see it from both points of view.. i think that you playing music so loud that it annoys only your neighbour is just asking for trouble.

what makes you qualified to decide what is a reasonable amount of noise that children should make?

i've suggested contacting the council, I've suggested a noise diary.. i am assuming that you've already tried this route and been advised they are not causing an issie.. so you have taken matters into your own hands.

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Contacting council and keeping noise diary is a total waste of time. The only thing that works is fight fire with fire- I’ve been there.

yes it’s fine having kids out playing but at the end of the day keeping a reasonable noise level is about being considerate to others. The dad is happy for his kids to scream the place down as that noise doesn’t affect him even though he is aware it is highly unpleasant for his neighbour. His attitude is clearly ‘sod you’. But the moment he hears other people’s ‘noise’ that he doesn’t like, he kicks up a fuss.

so it’s fine for his family to impact on others, but the moment others impact on him, it’s not acceptable. I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that. What’s good for the goose, is good for the gander. If you don’t want other people’s noise impacting on you, don’t do it yourself in the first place.

Wack up that music OP as I can tell you, that’s the only thing that is going to force his hand to deal with his noisy kids.

Fraaahnces · 02/07/2024 11:38

We had the neighbours from hell years ago @SkyeB86
Just putting this here for you. (It’s the 24hr long insanity remix.)
You can pop it on in the garden when you’re leaf blowing and chain sawing. 🤭

Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing on Rainbows (24 Hour Insanity Version!)

For the CIA, if/when shoving pine cones up someones arse get's boring, use this instead...Now with subtitles!Just got an email that Andrew Huang, the person ...

https://youtu.be/5wb5HWVh6Fs?si=-1GDYUyB9jzuJ2b2

BigAnne · 02/07/2024 11:37

Greyskybluesky · 02/07/2024 11:22

What does "seek mediation" actually mean in practical terms? Genuine question.
What do I do? Who do I contact?
How do I get my belligerent neighbour to agree?
I'm willing to try anything. How do I go about this?
Or is it just an easy thing to say on an anonymous forum?

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Your local council should offer a neighbour dispute resolution service. This is offered where I live (Scotland). You should find information on their website. These situations can escalate out of all proportion with neither side willing to back down .... misery all round for everyone.

Original poster

SkyeB86 · 02/07/2024 11:30

Greyskybluesky · 02/07/2024 11:22

What does "seek mediation" actually mean in practical terms? Genuine question.
What do I do? Who do I contact?
How do I get my belligerent neighbour to agree?
I'm willing to try anything. How do I go about this?
Or is it just an easy thing to say on an anonymous forum?

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It works when each party has contractual obligation to fulfill, where remedies and mediation procedures are clearly set out. With your noisy neighbours... doesn't quite work, but it does amuse me how many times it's suggested as a logical process for such situations 😄

OP posts:

Original poster

SkyeB86 · 02/07/2024 11:28

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 02/07/2024 11:25

Yes. Have another conversation with the parents.

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So keep doing the same thing, expecting a different result. Good plan, but I think I'll keep doing something that's actually effective in the meantime, until this is undoubtedly successful 👍

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MusicMakesItAllBetter · 02/07/2024 11:25

SkyeB86 · 02/07/2024 11:19

I have to love the irony of your nickname 😅 I don't know what else to do other than effectively block the noise out. I've asked them to be quiet and quit trespassing. I'm not sitting round, ignoring my daughter wearing 'noise cancelling headphones'. Mediation is a common mumsnet answer but in this situation is a ridiculous notion. Any other suggestions?

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Yes. Have another conversation with the parents.

Greyskybluesky · 02/07/2024 11:22

BigAnne · 02/07/2024 11:09

I agree. The OP should seek mediation in the hope of finding an intelligent solution to this as the 2 parties involved aren't capable of this.

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What does "seek mediation" actually mean in practical terms? Genuine question.
What do I do? Who do I contact?
How do I get my belligerent neighbour to agree?
I'm willing to try anything. How do I go about this?
Or is it just an easy thing to say on an anonymous forum?

Original poster

SkyeB86 · 02/07/2024 11:19

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 02/07/2024 08:01

We were parented differently.
little children should be seen and not heard.
Personally I think you’re doing tit for tat.
Kids make noise regardless of whether you and your siblings did or not.

Play your music but I would be pedantic about it. Makes you childlike in my opinion

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I have to love the irony of your nickname 😅 I don't know what else to do other than effectively block the noise out. I've asked them to be quiet and quit trespassing. I'm not sitting round, ignoring my daughter wearing 'noise cancelling headphones'. Mediation is a common mumsnet answer but in this situation is a ridiculous notion. Any other suggestions?

OP posts:

Original poster

SkyeB86 · 02/07/2024 11:17

Going to book a DJ, who's in for a mumsnet party? I'm afraid the invitation won't extend to becky 😕 😄

OP posts:

Original poster

SkyeB86 · 02/07/2024 11:16

BigAnne · 02/07/2024 11:09

I agree. The OP should seek mediation in the hope of finding an intelligent solution to this as the 2 parties involved aren't capable of this.

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Becky, please move on and stop replying to your own posts. It's not big, and it's not clever 😒 😅

P.S. mediation wouldn't work and is quite frankly a ridiculous idea.

OP posts:

BigAnne · 02/07/2024 11:09

Greenlittecat · 01/07/2024 16:37

No wonder your neighbours hate you. You have come across very sarcastic and rude in this thread

😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

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I agree. The OP should seek mediation in the hope of finding an intelligent solution to this as the 2 parties involved aren't capable of this.

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 02/07/2024 08:01

SkyeB86 · 30/06/2024 18:05

The adults are intentionally not telling them to keep noise at a reasonable level. I grew up youngest of 4, and also 2 cousins. We had a great childhood, but if we'd have made half this noise we'd have been told to shut up or come inside

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We were parented differently.
little children should be seen and not heard.
Personally I think you’re doing tit for tat.
Kids make noise regardless of whether you and your siblings did or not.

Play your music but I would be pedantic about it. Makes you childlike in my opinion

mommatoone · 01/07/2024 23:08

SkyeB86 · 01/07/2024 22:21

Agree. I know some lovely Karens irl and actually feel so sorry for them that their name has become a misogynistic insult. Hopefully the lovely Karens find joy like I do in the power of sarcasm as a retort 😄

No update today. The glorious rain has kept noisy neighbours indoors, and alas.my speakers have remained silent. As much as I reeaally didnt want to be petty, some of the responses on here are making me want to upgrade the speakers and blast out the most bizarre playlist imaginable 😂

Well, there's only one thing for it.... if we get another sunny day this year 🤔. Get a DJ round, decks the lot 🎧 🤣🤣. Yes- I'm that petty cos I've lived next to a complete wanker who didn't give a shit about his noise especially when i had a newborn👊👊👊

KarenandFour · 01/07/2024 23:04

Oh I feel your pain! I’ve started to be deliberately noisy too 😂 if you can’t beat them, join them!!

GOTBrienne · 01/07/2024 22:37

Lots of people need to think about how their noise is impacting on others and start being a bit self aware.
I have a neighbour who regularly has all 5 grandchildren round, in the garden all day. You can hear children playing/laughing/calling out to each other. Normal.
Next door to them are 2 children (now in secondary) who for the last 10 years have screamed from dusk to dawn. It’s not normal. Their mum was complaining to me about some music noise from another neighbour. I don’t know if she can block it out or something but you need to be aware of your own noise before complaining about others.

Jeannie88 · 01/07/2024 22:30

Runnerinthenight · 01/07/2024 19:26

They won't because they've had flippin' six!!! Imagine the stress and expense of taking that lot anywhere, with no manners either!

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Shit that's a whole new ballgame! So the hassle of taking them all out is clearly more difficult, hence always being at home, not that that's an excuse. When u choose to have that many then you do still need to take them out. X

Original poster

SkyeB86 · 01/07/2024 22:21

Agree. I know some lovely Karens irl and actually feel so sorry for them that their name has become a misogynistic insult. Hopefully the lovely Karens find joy like I do in the power of sarcasm as a retort 😄

No update today. The glorious rain has kept noisy neighbours indoors, and alas.my speakers have remained silent. As much as I reeaally didnt want to be petty, some of the responses on here are making me want to upgrade the speakers and blast out the most bizarre playlist imaginable 😂

OP posts:

Moll2020 · 01/07/2024 21:56

Why does the name Karen have to be thrown in?! It’s so insulting, most Karen’s are really nice & are very sad that their name has been used and abused!

Greyskybluesky · 01/07/2024 21:23

Hmm1234 · 01/07/2024 20:18

I’m in a similar situation with the thuds! I always worry when I’m ’getting Them back’ they will end up recording me and reporting to council/ environmental health. Then it backfires!?

You have my sympathies. I am in a similar situation and near breaking point.
If I did anything back it'd probably be reported as a noise nuisance.
Am thinking of getting the heaviest ball possible and wanging it off the side of their house for hours at a time...