I don’t enjoy motherhood

That's so true. DD has just left primary and it's very much where did the time go.

The days are long but the years are short.

Sums it up completely. If anybody told me I would miss those early years, I would have said "Are you mad?" I do miss the 4 to 12 years a lot though, now they are grown.

The days are long but the years are short.

DD is the best person in the world but 0-2 OMFG.

Mines 6 and although still relentless when I look back to a couple of years ago I realise how much better it really is. For me personally it's gone from really hating parenting but it's gradually got better every year so that gives me a lot of hope. I absolutely love the bones of my child but God it's hard work 😭😂

I also enjoyed football practice with my DS, while having zero interest in football on its own. I am very interested in HIM, though. That has also paid off. He's 20 now, and very sporty. I have learnt all about Spurs so I can have a convo with him.

Both my DC also good travellers after 4, so I was lucky there. Fair bit of luck goes into these things.

@80smonster oh god the narration! It’s like a radio with no off button from opening the eyes in the morning till bedtime 🤣

That is a very fun bit - you are quite right. Everyone must enjoy different bits.

I so enjoyed teaching my kids how to read. It's really paid off for me.

I can confirm that 6 almost 7 is fairly hideous. Our DD still narrates the world around her from 7am-whatever time we can get her to sleep. Most of it is absolute gibberish, to the extent it aggravates my adult ear to listen or focus on it. We still try to do the odd adult fun thing: gallery, non-child based holiday or posh restaurant, only to watch it being totally ruined with whinging. The school holidays are the worst, I watch the countdown with my head in my hands. I struggle with the service side of parenting, I was genuinely happier not having to perform school runs, order and clean school uniform, wipe bottoms and crumbs or force Calpol down anyone’s throat. They should run through this stuff in more detail during sex education classes in my opinion.

I have a 15 month old who is very very loved and wanted, had her after recurrent miscarriage and am still grateful every day for her. But the day to day exhaustion and disappearance of ‘me’ is also the truth, there are many days when I count hours to bedtime because I’m so tired/sick. Most of my mum friends feel the same way as me - when we moan about the drudgery, many say they feel guilty and how good it is to know you aren’t the only one. Don’t listen to what they say on social media.

I don’t feel guilty/wrong at all for feeling this way, I love my DD and wouldn’t have it any other way but I struggle often.
Hugs x

Same here @HandsDown84 ! I hate all that, the playing. Urrrgggh. Luckily my husband loves it

I hated it! 0-6 months was hell, 6 months -2 was a bit better, 2-4 was hard but fun and now he’s 5 and it’s hard for different reasons (just worry about him in school, is he growing etc) but he’s a hoot! It does get better I promise, and it’s ok to think the early days are shite, because they are! This time next year you’ll feel different again.
It was only when he was 4, I thought “I think I’ve got this motherhood thing”

I think it depends on your so called "love-language" as well. Mine is making sure that DS has lovely clean bedding with nice-smelling fabric softener, his favourite snacks are in the cupboard, and taking him places (swimming, NTs, soft play on a random Tuesday). It is absolutely not racing Hot Wheels around the lounge floor for 3 hours or pretending to be a robber in the garden. I feel like when he was very small he'd obviously prefer the latter!

🤣🤣 for years I heard after 4 but definitely at 5..I waited and waited for nothing 🤣. We are on a 3 week of a very looked forward vacation and all I do is pander to a 5 yr old or listen to the whining cause I’m not pandering 🤷🏻‍♀️. Everyday life isn’t that different

I can completely relate to this, my DD is 14 months (15 months next week) and I also have a wonderful DH and fab supportive family.
I go through phases of absolutely loving life and thinking everything is perfect, to feeling so low and thinking about how good life was before. I think I mainly feel like this when DD is going through a fussy phase or housework is getting on top of me.
I personally really feel like I am still adjusting to it all and my hormones still have a massive part to play in my moods. Of course life was so easy before we had our babies but when I think about her not being here with us, life feels empty.
I feel like things will get easier for us as they get older and we are able to communicate with them! It won't be like this forever and you will enjoy life again.

I've had IVF and am at peace now with not having children. What has honestly really helped is looking around me and seeing how utterly miserable all the vast majority of parents I know are - with their children primarily but also their partners. It looks tedious, relentless, and exhausting. Sure there are moments of joy but I get them too without all the hard work and my life feels peaceful. What I am constantly staggered by is how surprised everyone is at how miserable they are, as if every study doesn't clearly show how your happiness goes down when you have children. I knew this and still did fertility treatment! Mad.

Thank you to all of you parents for doing it! I appreciate it. After all, the human race does need kids.

I’ve hear people say ‘8 is great’. Hopefully that’s not a lie, but I cannot confirm or deny.

This was me. I had a really nice life before my DD arrived, I felt incredibly guilty that I didn’t take the same joy others did. Many years on I’ve now rationalised that other mums may have been keener to be on maternity leave than I was. Some because they had planned/hoped to be parents for many years, so it was the fruition of much yearning either due to logistics/IVF/financial planning. We kind of fell into it, not really having much experience of what that entailed, then discovered it’s a lifestyle choice we may not have made - had we known everything we do now. It does get better as they need less from you, babies and toddlers are relentless and not being able to sleep killed me in a way I’d never imagined. The early morning trips to playgrounds will haunt me forever. Other parents tell me that you enjoy a certain age/period of your kids childhood. Don’t be hard on yourself OP, different parents are good at different things, just because you don’t much like chanting incy wincy spider at baby club, doesn’t mean you won’t be ace at reading to them, explaining times tables or grammar. We all have different parental strengths and you will have yours in spades.

When??? I keep on hearing different goal posts and it never does… I’m on yr 5 now. Before I know it I’ll be in the beyond sucky teenage years

It sounds like you probably need to go back to work op and get some adult company and do something different.

I can totally relate. It sucks

Lol!!!!

Babies/toddlers= relentless & repetitive

If you hang around long enough, it can make you tearful for entirely different reasons 😂 Glad you got a minute to catch your breath. It's hard sometimes. I'm twelve years down the line but I do remember feeling quite lost at times when DD was a small baby. A particular highlight was a trip to the shops, I needed sanpro, got them and shoved them in the bottom of the buggy. It was really windy though, and the San pro blew out from under the buggy and around the plaza. Two lovely elderly men proceeded to chase around after it, only to die with embarrassment when they caught it and copped what it was. They brought it to me and fled like I had the plague, and I was only fit for the bed. Child blissfully unaware. I was quite traumatised at the time but it's quite amusing now really. Fair play to the two men. Gents!

I always think that most of us don’t have babies to have a baby; we have babies to have a child. I had two babies because I wanted two children and they are the best things ever, but I spent a large portion of their early years really questioning why we’d given up our lovely, easy life to get up every hour, deal with tantrums and wipe jam off everything. Luckily that’s such a short phase in their lovely lives. Honestly I’d have a house full of kids if someone could put them on ice for me until they’re 5 or 6!