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AIBU?

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Would you risk your child's safety for their academic career?

29 replies

ArseholeCatIsABlackAndWhiteCat · 30/06/2024 13:19

In my last year before exams I had a highly respectable, very successful maths tutor(also a uni professor). He was hand picked by my mum based on his reputation, success and the fact that most of his clients were children of doctors,lawyers etc.

Long story short, he sexually assaulted me. Never mind learning and achieving, it just fucked me up that little bit more. I told mum and her reaction was deplorable and basically made a joke of it all. I had to ring him pretending to be her and telling him I quit and find another teacher myself. Mum's excuse was that he was the best, she wanted the best for me bla bla fucking bla.

I carried anger and resentment for years after this but was starting to settle and even understood her reasoning to a point, until she let it slip that she fucking knew! She knew there were rumours about him being a predator, someone personally warned her not to send me there and she still fucking did. Her reasoning was that she didn't think he'd do anything to me because I wasn't his type (I was fat, and how the fuck would she know her type anyway?) so I'd be safe coupled with the same he was the best and I needed help and it was all for my education and my future career.

The irony is I'm a complete failure anyway.Grin

So how far would you go/ How much would you ignore/risk for your child to get "the best" education. Is that ever a valid excuse?

OP posts:
DanielGault · 30/06/2024 13:29

That's awful OP. I'm so sorry. No, I wouldn't dream for a second of putting my child in that position. For me a huge part of education is mental wellbeing and happiness, results are a large part but not the whole picture.i don't know if that's a modern outlook but I'd never subject my child to what you were subjected to in a million years. Fuck the results.

Supersoakers · 30/06/2024 13:29

How awful. No of course no loving parent would do that.
You can still report this man.

GrazingSheep · 30/06/2024 13:29

I knew a woman years ago who was very talented musically, especially the violin.
Her parents couldn’t afford lessons. There was a local man who taught violin. He would sleep overnight in her bed in exchange for lessons.
As a 10 year old she didn’t know how wrong this was on so many levels.
As an adult she does.
He is long dead as are her parents

Roundroundthegarden · 30/06/2024 13:22

This is so sad op, sorry you went through that. Your mother is the lowest of the low. I hope you go NC with her. All extra tutors come home under my watchful eye, or done in school.