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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask this woman to stop?!

374 replies

MarriedMama23 · 30/06/2024 08:25

It's really starting to bother me now but I'm annoyingly polite.

Basically I have a driveway and quite often I will put things at the end of it (within my boundaries) for passing tat men to take away.

Recently there's this woman that walks past quite often as I think she lives nearby, if there is something at the end of my driveway, she will pick it up and come knock my door. Conversation went a bit like:

Her: You left this outside
Me: Yeah, I put it out for the scrap men, it's broken/don't want it anymore
Her: ....
Me: You can have it if you want it?
Her: head tilt, confused looking at me and item no...
Me: Can you pop it back where it was then please?

She did so but she keeps doing it! Always similar variation of this conversation above. She will pick the item up (most recently, an old broken speaker) and trot up to my door to tell me I left it outside? Why? How do I explain to this woman? I'm fairly sure she's native English speaking so I don't think it's a language barrier?

Aibu?

OP posts:
unospaghetto · 30/06/2024 09:20

I’ve never seen anyone doing this leaving rubbish at the bottom of the driveway and I have lived in several different UK cities. We did have people knock the door and ask if they could take items from our skip when renovating.

Missenger · 30/06/2024 09:20

bigageap · 30/06/2024 08:39

Middle class fly tipping I think is the term used!

It's not fly tipping and it's not just in middle class areas

Yippiddy · 30/06/2024 09:18

I leave things out the same way you do OP and am amazed at how quickly things go. I often don't leave a sign.

I'd tell her to stop asking you. I don't know why you haven't already.

Fallenangelofthenorth · 30/06/2024 09:18

Poolstream · 30/06/2024 09:15

A woman in our neighbourhood paid a waste man to collect stuff, she checked his license on his phone.
It must have been fake because she was outed for fly tipping on the community fb group.
Someone had found the waste and found her name and address.
Poor woman was attacked terribly and told she was ultimately responsible.
The lynch mob mentality were loving it.
A fly tipper would remove any identifiable information.

That's a bit different to leaving it out for collection and not paying them. There'd be no incentive to just pick items up and dump them for no financial reward whatsoever.

Sadza · 30/06/2024 09:18

from your replies you seem like quite an aggressive person so I’m surprised you haven’t just told this person where to go.

Poolstream · 30/06/2024 09:17

YouJustDoYou · 30/06/2024 09:16

I love how many posters aren't capable of actually reading what op's put - it's on her property, not on the street, lol.

They’re worried about house prices falling. 😂

SoupDragon · 30/06/2024 09:17

Round where I am it's not uncommon to leave a few items on your wall eg a book or children's clothes for a passer by to pick up. But not a washing machine- you pay for that to be disposed of safely

Round here you leave scrap metal items like washing machines out (if not taken away by the company who delivered your new one). Rarely is metal out there more than a couple of days before the scrap men come round.

books or children's clothes etc are taken to charity shops though, not left on walls, so the complete opposite of your area!

CuloGrande · 30/06/2024 09:17

Looks like your neighbour and her friends are on this thread with so many not getting it 😂

YouJustDoYou · 30/06/2024 09:16

I love how many posters aren't capable of actually reading what op's put - it's on her property, not on the street, lol.

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 30/06/2024 09:15

Sadza · 30/06/2024 08:54

Who leaves stuff regularly in the drive for ‘tat’ men? What are ‘tat’ men? Do you live in a Steptoe style junkyard? How often are you leaving stuff out? If it’s collected every 24 hours surely this can’t be an ongoing problem. This post can’t be real.

We do. Why go to the bigger if going to the tip/paying for uplift or a skip. If I leave a radiator we've removed at the end of your driveway it will be picked up in a matter of hours and taken to be recycled.

Poolstream · 30/06/2024 09:15

A woman in our neighbourhood paid a waste man to collect stuff, she checked his license on his phone.
It must have been fake because she was outed for fly tipping on the community fb group.
Someone had found the waste and found her name and address.
Poor woman was attacked terribly and told she was ultimately responsible.
The lynch mob mentality were loving it.
A fly tipper would remove any identifiable information.

Fallenangelofthenorth · 30/06/2024 09:14

LadyMuckRake · 30/06/2024 09:03

Yeh, I'm in Ireland and sometimes I get a cloth skip and before too long there will be a traveller rooting through the skip, so even though it's a known understood concept here, I still apologise to neighbours. "Skip being collected in 3 days"

I would be surprised by a neighbour not hiring a skip but permanently leaving tumble driers or speakers on their drive.

You wouldn't do that in my estate and it's not a "nice" estate. 80s terraces, very basic. But even though we're all familiar with travellers taking scrap if they think they could sell it, nobody just leaves a permanent pile of crap in their drive. For context, I own my house but it'd be priced at the lower end of the cost of houses in my town.

So your neighbour is wondering why you don't get that!!

Show quote history

What on earth has the price of your property got to do with whether or not you are familiar with scrap men?

@MarriedMama23 i do the same where I live (for context large very expensive Victoria Semi :D) and any scrap is always taken much faster than a council collection would be.

Renamed · 30/06/2024 09:14

Perhaps a sign just saying Scrap Collection?

Then if she knocks on the door you can say “There’s clearly a sign saying Scrap Collection”

Then whatever her problem is she will have to be explicit about it!

NewGreenDuck · 30/06/2024 09:14

Everyone does this where I live. Scrap for the scrap man the day the bins are collected, free stuff other days. I've done it often. The charity shops where I live won't take some things and the local authority charges a fortune to take items. I had to pay them to take a huge fridge /freezer so learnt that. No scrap man takes fridges, so no choice. I've hired a skip, again quite expensive, and people have taken loads of stuff out.However, no one has complained where I live. Just ignore your neighbour, she just has a bee in her bonnet about nothing.

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 30/06/2024 09:13

Binman · 30/06/2024 08:53

She's pissed off with you fly tipping and your arrogant attitude and is deliberately goading you. Good for her.

Just take it to the tip. You say you don't care what happens to the rubbish once it's off your drive, that is so irresponsible. The pp is correct that the rubbish still belongs to you if it is not disposed of correctly.

LMfAO. How is it fly tipping? It's on her driveway. She could pile her driveway up with junk if she really wanted to.

Gelasring · 30/06/2024 09:13

RichardsGear · 30/06/2024 09:09

Exactly. Must be a very altruistic sort to drive round wasting their own fuel collecting other people's rubbish for nowt just to dump it 😆.

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Ha! Yes, very good point

Seeline · 30/06/2024 09:13

There's no point in paying for the Council to collect round here. Someone will have nicked it before the Council arrive!

PoppyCherryDog · 30/06/2024 09:13

Maray1967 · 30/06/2024 08:30

Might she think the street looks messy and it’s her (clumsy) way of saying don’t leave crap out in the street/in view of the street?

I’m not saying she’s right!!
Either that - or she is not very well, mentally.

This provided she is all there and no language barrier as you say I think maybe she is trying to tell you it looks messy.

RosesAndHellebores · 30/06/2024 09:12

It sounds as though you are channelling Daisy and Onslow. I wouldn't be impressed.

CandleBrightLight · 30/06/2024 09:11

MarriedMama23 · 30/06/2024 08:40

I'm putting it on my driveway, not the street, work on your reading comprehension please.

Show quote history

A little rude.

its just not the norm where we live, so people are wondering at it

Poolstream · 30/06/2024 09:10

Sadza · 30/06/2024 08:54

Who leaves stuff regularly in the drive for ‘tat’ men? What are ‘tat’ men? Do you live in a Steptoe style junkyard? How often are you leaving stuff out? If it’s collected every 24 hours surely this can’t be an ongoing problem. This post can’t be real.

You’ve led a very sheltered life.

magnoliablooms · 30/06/2024 09:09

CoolShoeshine · 30/06/2024 09:07

But surely if you paid the council to take away for recycling you'd have to leave it at the front of your house for collection? My local certainly wouldn't come into the house to collect any items, unless the householder was disabled or elderly.

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Yes and she can tell the lady or stick a sign on it saying council collection.

Round where I am it's not uncommon to leave a few items on your wall eg a book or children's clothes for a passer by to pick up. But not a washing machine- you pay for that to be disposed of safely

RichardsGear · 30/06/2024 09:09

Thepartnersdesk · 30/06/2024 09:05

The guys that collect it must be scrapping it or what would be the point?

If they charged for collection then I see the fly tipping issue without proper licence but if you collect it for nothing you want the value of the metal otherwise you are a volunteer flytipper which would make no sense.

Exactly. Must be a very altruistic sort to drive round wasting their own fuel collecting other people's rubbish for nowt just to dump it 😆.

40thbirthday · 30/06/2024 09:08

Many people have offered a solution of using a sign but you seem combative and defensive. Whats the point of the post then

MrsClownland · 30/06/2024 09:08

MarriedMama23 · 30/06/2024 08:44

Every couple of weeks/months it's usually whenever I put something out.

Show quote history

I was meaning how often do you put stuff out, not how often she knocks. Every couple of weeks does not sound too bad. But people can spend a lot of time making their gardens look nice and then random bits of junk will do nothing for the kerb appeal! Maybe she wants to sell her house?