to ask people not to control their children

give your child a choice and enable them to make the right decisions, don't decide for them.

Nah, I would've lived on chocolate and crisps if my parents were that lax.

Give them a choice between what anyway?

Two or three healthy foods for dinner? - YANBU

Choose whatever they want to binge on? - YABU

I think it depends on the age of the child. Young children won't necessarily make good choices about healthy food or screen time. All children need some boundaries, for example bedtime/teeth brushing etc. You can't give children choices about every little thing. The best way is to gradually increase their independence and autonomy as they get older so that they become self-sufficient adults. It doesn't sound like your parents did this.

OH is a policeman. You need to control your child's access to tech or worse things than a binge eating disorder will befall them.

I'm quite relaxed when it comes to my 6 year olds eating however i do have to control how much sugar and chocolate he is allowed and sonetimes hide it. He has a very sweet tooth and once managed to get up before me and eat his way through 3 easter eggs and their accompanying chocolates (there are nany more incidences if sneakiness). I've also caught him trying to eat sugar out the bag and he frequently used to beg and scream for chocolate. We've got into a routine now where he knows he'll have his chocolate/pudding once he's eaten a good amount of his dinner and he doesn't beg or sneak food anymore. He also has free access to fruit/vegetables and some snack bars and crisps. We still have treats if we're out and about or if someone he visits gives him something but we have to be strict.

I'm sorry you have mental health difficulties over this though it must be truly difficult. Unfortunately though if I didn't control somethings my son eats he would end up quite poorly.

I should have been more controlled though. My grandparents would encourage me to overeat sweets and my parents didn’t stop them. A child doesn’t know it’s not a good idea to eat more crunchie bars in a row. I have problems with finding my off switch even now.

There is a middle way and it’s up to parents to guide their children so that they can find it.

My upbringing was the opposite, no control, very little parental input, I have a binge eating disorder.
With adult dd I went for a more balanced approach, healthy food, treats in moderation. She had an eating disorder as a teen.
Sometimes I wonder if these things are more of a reflection of our neurobiology than being purely about upbringing. Iirc eating disorders have close links to autism.

I was given free rein as a child. I’m a well-adjusted, happy adult. Could have benefited from more guidance… But, I find myself bringing my child up the same way. It’s working out (so far!)

Everyone makes decisions for their children though.

Do you have children? If so, do they decide everything for themselves? Where do you draw the line? What about children with SN that means they can't make safe choices?

What age are you talking about?

Of course a parent should be in control of the tech their child has access to.

I control what my child eats as I am their parent. I teach them about healthy choices; until they can make smart choices, I am in charge.

You have a mental illness, that’s awful for you, but it’s not reflective of most people.

There's a middle ground though isn't there? If it was up to them entirely my children would eat chocolate and play Roblox until they puked and passed out.

This advice doesn’t work for every child. “Bad for you” foods are designed to be very addictive. When you have a bit you want more and more. I expect there are children that would just eat and eat and eat. Parents should be there to moderate their children’s diet and make sure that doesn’t happen.

I'm sorry your reflections on your childhood are that you felt controlled. Can you elaborate a little on what exactly it was that you felt damaged you by limiting access to screens or food? I'm of the mind that some things absolutely should be decided by parents, but I think that debate and your own experience don't necessarily go together!