Is there any point of losing weight?

@C1N1C I use the packs of butter as a motivation. If I've 'only' lost half. Kg I think 'well that's 2 packs of butter no longer packed around my internal organs' , and that's pretty motivational for me 😬. Visceral fat is just so bad for health.

It also helps to get a mental picture of literally carrying all of that butter around. I started off my recent blast of weight loss (to fit back into my lovely summer clothes) 'only' 3kg heavier than I wanted to be (but meant that I couldn't fasten nice trousers and couldn't breathe in some dresses 😜). Then pictured myself carrying round 12 blocks of butter. That's heavy. That's a lot of unnecessary stuff to carry round. So I just do fast800 for a couple of weeks and it's gone. Pretty easy really.

Oh and I love butter. Yum.

You are definitely overweight and it’s worth trying to lose some weight to be healthier. Plus you don’t want to end up putting on more weight with another pregnancy and then being firmly in the obese category.

I wish I’d sorted my weight out before it crept on too much.

I am five feet one, weigh one stone (6kgs) less than you and am just about a size 14.

I don't disagree. But if I had posted on here saying directly "my DH told me I'm fat", how many people would be screaming to LTB rather than telling me I should be thinking about my health?

Well there's tactlessness and then there's thinking the words "You look fat" are the same as "I'm worried about your health".

We may live in a time when it's considered a terrible thing for words to mean things and by that very nature not to mean other things, but we do all speak the language. OP doesn't seem worried about health either; it's all about dress sizes and that seems to be the cue from her mother and husband, who hasn't, it seems, said anything about actually supporting her in losing weight.

My DH think I look fat and do you know why, it’s because I’m fat! He’s not mean about it but he’s not going to tell me I look thin!

Men typically aren't all that tactful. Carrying 12kg of excess fat is unhealthy.

I'm sorry but if my husband said that I would stand in front of him a shove several cream buns in my mouth.

Exactly.

And this is funny, because while it's possible to have a gentle and kind conversation about health, it's also possible just to be a rampant bodyshamer. But bodyshamers do usually try to validate it by pretending they are genuinely concerned about health. Interesting that nobody here seems to be putting that veneer on and I'm wondering just how comfortable everyone is with telling OP they think she looks awful.

Are packs of butter an official unit of measure now? :)

I weighed earlier.. lost a whole pack of butter!- Yep, needs to be a thing :)

Except he hasn't said he wants her to get healthy. He said he thinks she looks fat.

76kg at 5ft 3 is very overweight, you would be obese if you put on just one kilogram. Half your body weight is a frightening amount to gain in pregnancy, and your weight must have been even higher just before birth. 10 to 12.5kg is recommended and much of this is the baby and placenta etc so will be lost after giving birth. I'm not surprised he wants you to get healthy before another pregnancy.

@MissScarletInTheBallroom

It's not nice to hear but your DH is right.

No, he's not. He hasn't said he's worried about her health. He said he thinks she looks fat.

Everyone would benefit from being the healthy weight for their height. But they should do it for their own health, not because a man says they're fat.

Same!

4kg is 16 packets of butter. That's quite a big difference.

M&S sizing is not a good way to determine of you are of a healthy weight or not. my 5'3 talk and 50 kg DD cannot find anything at m&s as their sizing is off and even size 8s are far too big. Your BMI borders obese. It's not a not a good starting point for a pregnancy and not healthy at all in any case.

You’ve come on a forum looking for options so here is mine.

26kg is a LOT of additional weight. Before anybody slams me- pick up a 20kg weight in bag and carry in around with you for the day. Obviously if the 26kg you’ve put on is muscle then this is different but it doesn’t sound like it.

However you look at it, carrying additional weight is a strain on your internal organs and skeleton. Pregnancy is also a strain on your internal organs and body in general. Generally speaking, pregnancy and recovery will carry less risk if you are in a healthy weight range.

OP, I mean this kindly, you are clearly in denial about your weight.

Your pre pregnancy weight was at the lower end of the healthy BMI range for your height. You have since put on over 50% of your previous total body weight, which is a very significant amount, especially if you are quite short and less able to carry extra weight well. I weighed 76kg when I was 9 months pregnant and I am 3 inches taller than you. The most I've ever weighed when not pregnant was 72kg which tipped me into the overweight category at 5'6.

M&S are well known for vanity sizing. At your height and a healthy weight you should be able to fit into an 8 in M&S, or even a 6.

I would head over to the weight loss chat on here and ask for some advice. You need to work out how many calories you burn each day based on your age, sex, height and weight (which will be less than you think) and then eat 500 calories a day less than that in order to start losing weight.

It's not nice to hear but your DH is right. You don't need to lose it all before getting pregnant again but you do need to start prioritising your health.

I am 5 9 and weigh 63kg ( 10 stone) I’m a size 10
in marks. I can get in an 8 but I don’t as I prefer a lower fit . I don’t mean to be rude but M&S and Next are huge . I am a 12 in Zara and H&M !
but that’s not the point.

I put on 49 pounds ( 23kg) with dd1 and the day I had lost it all I started trying to conceive number 2. It was a year of waking and healthy eating and yoga but I lost it . Then I promised myself I would be strict during dexonf pregnancy!!! I gained 60 pounds ( 27kg!) second time and I have just lost it. DS is one on 3 days !!!!!! It was not easy to lost the last 10 pounds but again I walked , healthy eating and a little yoga and honestly it came off slowly and steady !

Pregnanxy with a child already is so so hard and O much harder than the first time as you can’t lay down and relax as you have a small person .

I realize I am a big gainer in pregnancy.
I just need to eat! So I’m so Proud I lost the weight in between or I would have had about 8 stone to lose After number 2 !

But I would have killed DH if he called me fat. That’s out of order. You have to want to do it for you and your little ones.
Don’t kick the can down the road . I would say lose 10kg. For your little one , for you , for the new baby . You will have such a better experience of pregnancy. Be honest with yourself. What are you really eating ? Snacks ? Exercise ? If you can’t lose it now it won’t be easier when you have two and are extremely exhausted and have even less
time.

I would go for a 10kg loss and then re evaluate .
Do it for the children and for an easier pregnancy and not for your DH!!!!

I personally think it’s good to go into a pregnancy in peak form, and judging by your bmi you’re not there at the moment.

Nothing you're saying is about health. You're just deconstructing your body to point out the shape, the dress size and so on. You hadn't even looked up your BMI. Your husband also seems to be concerned only about looks, and your mother. And if he's offered ways to help support you in losing weight then you haven't mentioned them.

Your health is important which is why it's interesting that nobody seems to be prioritising that. It's all about looks and dress sizes.

I won't say what I suspect about your husband (wasn't surprised that your mother got in on it too) but I echo PPs that if you do lose weight it needs to be for you. Tbh if your husband is what I suspect he is then I'd be seriously considering whether having another child is a good idea at all.

But if you're struggling now to lose it the how will you lose it after the 2nd baby when you've gained another 2 stone?
And yes...it would help your health and pregnancy alot.

M&S cut big though, there size 6 is too big for me but my size 10 stuff from 2001 still fits me.

The vanity sizing is crazy now.

Hi OP. This topic and the way you presented it will always cause polarising answers. The reality is, irrespective of the m&s dress size thing, that you are overweight. "Normal" body shapes have skewed. However… you should only want to reduce weight if YOU want to. Being coerced is not going to work … not sustainably.

There are all sorts of legitimate health benifits for losing weight. The "how" to lose weight is a different topic, but fundamentally comes down to eating less.

Me too tbh, I'm 76kg at 5'7 and size 14!

By bmi standards you are a fair bit of overweight to be fair and if you start here and gain more over a second pregnancy it will be extremely difficult to get back to a healthy weight of day 62kg. It's up to you really though, I hope he's saying it kindly in a constructive health focused way though amd not just whining cause you look different

Have you heard of different body shapes?

My sister and I have different body shapes. She's like a pear, I'm more hour glass. We can have the same BMI (we are different heights so I'll use that rather than weight) and be totally different sizes.

If I went by my waist alone I'd be a 14¹. Because of my hips I need to size up. Tops can be difficult because I've got a large chest, so for some styles I need to go two sizes up.

My sister however at the same BMI would be a 16 on the bottom because of her shape but a 12 on the top.

Because we're all different.

¹sizes made up but relative to each other.