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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that too many people are in denial that they should not drive?

259 replies

Onomatofear · 29/06/2024 19:19

I hear about countless examples of elderly people or people with health problems getting behind the wheel of a car when they shouldn't be. Why do they do it?

I remember my dh's granddad doing it. Now it's my dad. He's 78 and can barely walk without falling over and he refuses to accept that he shouldn't be on the road. About 6 months ago, he accidentally drove over a pedestrian island thinking it was an actual road. I pointed out to my mum that him being old wouldn't count as a defence. She still gets in the car with him(!)

And before you say why don't I report him, it's easy to say but I've reported someone before for the same sort of thing and he figured out it was me and went mad at me. It's even more difficult to report your own parent.

OP posts:
Aligirlbear · 29/06/2024 19:41

I know it’s tough but how would you feel if he had an accident and someone was hurt / killed ? My siblings and I reported our DD as he was obviously unsafe. Very stressful and he felt hurt at the time but now realises the damage he could have done and is actually grateful we did it.

It’s tough as it feels like their independence is being taken away but they could get their Liberty taken away if they cause a bad accident.

The solution would be if it became law that everyone needs to take an assessment at say 75 and every 3 -5 years after to ensure they remain fit to drive

justasking111 · 29/06/2024 19:32

"Eye test enforcement by North Wales Police divides opinion: Essential for road safety or misplaced priority? | North Wales Live - North Wales Live" https://www.dailypost.co.uk/news/north-wales-news/im-specsavers-your-view-police-29382071.amp

Out of a hundred plus drivers pulled in 3 failed the eyesight test and were taken home.

It's caused a bit of a kerfuffle in our retirement area

'I'm off to Specsavers' - your view on police operation some branded 'overkill'

Officers from North Wales Police have been supported for the operation

https://www.dailypost.co.uk/news/north-wales-news/im-specsavers-your-view-police-29382071.amp

StrongandNorthern · 29/06/2024 19:31

Report him.

Dearg · 29/06/2024 19:26

YellowHairband · 29/06/2024 19:21

YANBU with your thread title.

But I don't think your reason for not reporting him is valid. He could kill someone, and you won't say anything because he'll be cross?

I agree with this. Have been there. Had to take my Dad’s keys from him. He was in his 80s, very ill, and very weak. It was heartbreaking. BUT imagine the heartbreak of the aftermath of an accident.

My MIL also went on way too long, and I wish I had reported her. No accidents thankfully, but that was pure luck.

justasking111 · 29/06/2024 19:25

Our police set up a roadblock/pull in the other week in our small town. Pulled in drivers made them all do a number plate reading test. Three failed and have lost their licenses.

Abitlosttoday · 29/06/2024 19:24

My partner's uncle (78ish) can't recognise me at 5 metres in Tesco but he's often to spotted driving (admittedly very slowly) around our town. Lethal. He's diabetic with failing eyesight. There was some Covid-related reason for his mandatory eye exam to be skipped a few times. I guess that could catch him out soon.

VickyEadieofThigh · 29/06/2024 19:23

I reported my Dad. I didn't care if he found out it was me - his poor sight and failing cognitive function (he was 87) made him a danger to others and himself. He lost his licence to the relief of the whole family.

He decided it was the eye clinic who reported him and we all agreed with this notion.

YellowHairband · 29/06/2024 19:21

YANBU with your thread title.

But I don't think your reason for not reporting him is valid. He could kill someone, and you won't say anything because he'll be cross?

Swollenandgrouchy · 29/06/2024 19:21

Because they don’t want to give up their independence. Not defensible, but that’s the reason.

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