When do you expect your children to move out?

DC1 is autistic and I can't see him moving out until his 30s, he might never move out. He'll always need a lot of support and it's easier for me to provide it here than if he moved out. DC2 & 3 are still primary aged and I hope they'd move elsewhere for uni, but we're in London so there's a good chance they'd end up working here if they go down a graduate job route, so they could end up living here after uni to keep rent down. We live in a town house so I don't think it would feel too crowded with them here, they'd have their own floor.

Kind of wish I’d stayed home as a young adult tbh! I rented from 21 and only bought aged 36. Imagine what I could have saved had I lived at home. I might live in a much nicer house by now. Still, I guess I did enjoy the independence.

Dd1 went at 23
Dd2 went at 27
Basically when they had enough for a deposit

Whenever they’re ready. I’ll be a parent until I die. I know what it feels like to have no backup or place of sanctuary.

My eldest didn't come back after uni. I was surprised to be honest but she found a flat share in London where she needed to be and has just got on with life. My youngest I'm not sure. He has SN. He's only 13 and I'm nearly 55. I'm a lone parent. I imagine he'll be at home for a long time but I'm ok with that.

Ours are 27 and 24. We’ve never had an issue with them staying at home as they’re both really good to spend time with.

The oldest came home after uni and then moved out again when he was 25 to live with his long term girlfriend. Six weeks later they split up and he moved back home “for 6 months” while he saved a deposit. That wasn’t easy due to him being on his own and not being on a big wage as a young teacher.
He ended up being here for 18 months until he completed on his house purchase 3 months ago.

The youngest had been making noises about getting a place with his girlfriend of 6 years, but it’s been complicated by them being in a long term relationship for the last year. In the last few weeks they’ve split up (it’s amicable), they couldn’t see a way to move forward without one of them giving up a job that they’ve worked hard to get (there’s not really anything in either of their fields should either move to be with the other). It looks like he’ll be here for a few more years now.

We’d actually been looking at moving out of the area once he’d left home, thinking it was something we could possibly do in the next year or two, doing it before would add too much to his already long commute and he isn’t yet on the kind of wage where he could afford to move out and live alone.

My friend is in this position but her youngest is 7 now and they've got them in with them on a double bunk bed. Mum and dad on the bottom and youngest on the top bunk. Two teens sharing the biggest room and their eldest who is mid twenties in the smaller one.
We've got 2 teens sharing and we're relocating so they can have a room each and will be able to stay at home as long as they need. It will also be more affordable for them to move out, when they're ready so they can save a deposit or rent somewhere.

It probably depends where you live as well, if DS had moved back home it would have been a lot more difficult to get a decent job without a large commute as we live in one of those dull towns without much work

I can't believe any parent can actually ask this and mean it? Your children didn't ask to be born. The cost of living is astronomical. Can't they have a roof over their heads for as long as it takes them to get their lives together without a parent wishing them gone? Sad.

That said, my brother is 37 and had stints of living at home on and off until about a year ago, so 🤷‍♀️

@midgetastic tbh they are pretty good. They do the cleaning and we share the cooking. Its just like the COVID lockdown sometimes..... can't turn around without tripping over someone 😂

Mine moved out at 18 for university and got a job in his university city after his degree so stayed there

Within a year or two of graduating from university. I kept 'my' room at home until I finished university, which coincided with my mum moving house. I lived in the new house for about five months but my room wasn't really mine, iyswim - we both knew I was looking for jobs in either London or my university city, so it was just a convenient stopgap whilst I got my act together (I did pay a nominal amount of rent, but far less than if I'd been privately renting).

You don’t really mean this do you - you want to keep them at home till you die? I want my kids to live a life beyond my house - I’d feel a total failure if they never left home.

@shellyleppard

You need them to move out for a bit - mine came back completely housetrained after uni

I moved out at 17 to go to uni and could never have gone back after enjoying independence. Tbh I struggle to imagine why young people
would want to stay until late 20s. I certainly won’t Chuck mine out when the time comes but I’ll be encouraging them to travel, work, explore the world in their 20s. Not play it safe. It’s time to grow into themselves and I hope I will have them ready to go it alone with distance support by late teens.

I'm 55 and my children are nearly 19 and just turned 16. I love them to bits but I can't wait for them to move out!!!! I'm tired of always thinking of what to have for dinner every.... single..... bloody.....day!!!! Of finding soggy bath mats and empty toilet rolls 😡😡 i now hide a bath mat so I get a dry one 😂😂😂😂 on a serious note as soon as they find a decent job they will be gone

ds(20) won't finish uni until he is 23, he currently stays at home/commutes as it suited him with location/course and also I didn't mind as it saved me a lot of money too. I hope after a couple of years to find/settle into a job he leaves home within a couple of years of finishing uni.

He is keen to move onto the next step of his life after uni so I don't foresee it being an issue, unless he can't find a job, but obviously that could change!

My DSS and his GF moved out last year and my 25 yr DS has just moved back in as he is back in the UK looking for a job. Fortunately he is a fully functioning adult and we have lots of room. He is great company and love having him back.

I don’t ever want mine to leave. 20, 17 and 8 and I hope they all want to stay.

My siblings and i left for uni and rented with friends thereafter until moving in with partners etc. My parents live in a small town, we all moved to cities with better job prospects.

DH and i live nearer London - i can imagine our DC coming home after uni to save a flat deposit for a couple of years. I'd expect them out by 25 though.

Honestly I kind of plan to move out myself. Might get a little holiday home on retirement so I’m not in their way. I can’t see them affording a deposit or a mortgage any time soon given the house prices.

Also - I intend to downsize in retirement because we have a period house that takes a lot of maintenance. Seeing other people's experience makes me want to do that before I hit 70 as it feels like it can suddenly get a lot harder to downsize. So after a certain point, mine will have to move out.

We’re the same, @spriots , we don’t want to live in our rambling terrace when we’re older. I think we could stick it out until our mid-60’s if necessary, when our children would be early-30’s. I think they’d prefer to move out before then though, DD (19) is very proud that she’s moving into her first flat with her uni friends in August. She doesn’t want to live with her “annoying” brother and her parental units anymore!

Mine (25) is moving back here to save for a deposit it seems very common here and there will always be as home for her if she needs one but I love my own space too!

We own a nice 2 bed flat nearby which we rent out. My plan is to see if the kids want to move into it after uni while they save for their own houses.