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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband raging for turning off music.

59 replies

Ivyiris · 29/06/2024 15:42

Walked into my house to blaring music/noise , kids screaming. Asked him what the noise was and he preceded to tell me 'i don't know' so I go over to the speaker and turn it off so I can hear myself think. He then screams at me calling me selfish, swearing at me, telling me he wouldn't dream of doing that to me, because I've turned off the music he was listening to even though he told me he didn't know what it was. Try to but it back on but he is raging. Aibu?

OP posts:
OhHelloMiss · 29/06/2024 21:35

thesummerIturnedtoredbull · 29/06/2024 17:12

Kids screaming, man screaming, music blasting..expecting a thread from your poor neighbours soon.

It all sounds exaggerated for a mumsnet reaction

The fact she asked a question,he heard and answered, and she heard him, makes me think it wasn't exactly 'blaring'

Cas112 · 29/06/2024 18:40

It is rude to turn someone's music off.

What did you mean by noise? The kids or the music in a sarcastic way, if the latter I guess you was trying to poke the bear and then you got a reaction when you went further and turned it off

Mickey79 · 29/06/2024 18:34

Well id think it was pretty clear that the ‘noise’ was music I was listening too so I wouldn’t appreciate being asked such a ridiculous question. I’d also expect the music to be turned down, not off. But your husband was out of order for screaming and swearing at you. How old are the children and what do you mean by them screaming - were they distressed and being ignored/ neglected or just being noisy ( as kids can be).

Illegally18 · 29/06/2024 18:31

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 29/06/2024 15:47

Ah come on, you knew the “noise” was music. Saying “what’s the noise?” Is a rhetorical question calling the music shite, not a genuine oh my what could that noise possibly be? 😇

and then you shut it off. 😬

Are you nuts? 🤕 yes, OF COURSE it is a rhetorical question, she opening the conversation . she means,'what's going on that the music is deafening and the children are screaming? Obviously a situation she hasn't had before and obviously she can't think with all that racket!

Whataretalkingabout · 29/06/2024 18:19

Don't tolerate this behavior. If you do it will only get worse. Pull him up on it now and each and every time. Get angry if you must. Do not let him treat you this way. This is how domestic violence and emotional abuse begin.

Youdontevengohere · 29/06/2024 18:10

I’ve never been screamed at either, and I don’t say that to be ‘nasty’, but to show the OP that it’s not normal and it’s not something anyone should have to put up with in a relationship.

cupcaske123 · 29/06/2024 18:00

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Nope. Never had a boss or anyone for that matter who has ever screamed at me. People have lost their temper at me. I've been shouted at, sure. No one has screamed at me. Unless of course you have evidence to the contrary.

I showed sympathy to the OP by advising her not to put up with being screamed at or raged at. To get her children to a place of safety and to leave so she was no longer going to be subjected to a screaming raging man.

Apart from patrolling the board acting like class monitor, what exactly have you said to the OP to help? How have you made her feel less alone?

Exactlab · 29/06/2024 17:40

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thesummerIturnedtoredbull · 29/06/2024 17:12

Kids screaming, man screaming, music blasting..expecting a thread from your poor neighbours soon.

Charlize43 · 29/06/2024 17:10

I wouldn't tolerate anyone screaming at me. This sets a poor example for your children... Perhaps you should have asked to turn the music lower or off? It all sounds quite volatile and shambolic.

RonaTkinson · 29/06/2024 17:04

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Carouselfish · 29/06/2024 17:03

My first thought was he's turned up the music so he can't hear the kids on purpose, hence his 'I dont know' reaction to your question - guiltily pretending he doesnt know they're screaming. Then his temper tantrum was him deflecting his terrible parenting.

Easipeelerie · 29/06/2024 16:50

Was neglect of the children involved (music on so loud he wouldn’t have known what the children were doing or feeling because he couldn’t hear fhem)? Is he generally mean and selfish?

needsomewarmsunshine · 29/06/2024 16:47

I never tolerate anyone screaming at me.
He was a dick but instead of turning it off you could have switched it down a bit, so at least you could be heard.
Dh jokes about my 'noise', heavy metal, punk and Nirvana but I don't blast it out.
He actually likes some of it.

StormingNorman · 29/06/2024 16:42

Sounds like he already had the arse when you walked in if he’s telling you he doesn’t know what the music is that he’s listening to.

AmelieTaylor · 29/06/2024 16:39

@Ivyiris

i wouldn't put up with that, no one shouts at me. Nasty twat.

AmelieTaylor · 29/06/2024 16:37

RedHelenB · 29/06/2024 16:26

I think it's rude to walk into a room/house and switch the tv/music off without ssking. Yabu.

She did ask, he said he didn't know!

sevsal · 29/06/2024 16:34

Your husband is screaming at you and calling you selfish, swearing at you, and you are asking if YABU?

Come on OP, surely you know this is utterly toxic behaviour?

AtrociousCircumstance · 29/06/2024 16:32

What? It’s her house too, and if the music was deafening, then of course it isn’t rude.

RedHelenB · 29/06/2024 16:26

I think it's rude to walk into a room/house and switch the tv/music off without ssking. Yabu.

trextape · 29/06/2024 16:25

1offnamechange · 29/06/2024 16:21

this 🙄

Show quote history

as in you agree
or eye roll at the thought of poor neighbours (and mainly… poor kids) having to endure ear splitting music and a shouting couple

AtrociousCircumstance · 29/06/2024 16:23

You can’t have hatefully loud music on in a residential home - it’s antisocial. Your husband sounds like a reactive, aggressive prick OP.

ChockysChimichanga · 29/06/2024 16:22

Really?

1offnamechange · 29/06/2024 16:21

trextape · 29/06/2024 15:44

poor neighbours

this 🙄

WaltzingWaters · 29/06/2024 16:14

On the one hand, my partner often turns my music off and it mildly gives me the rage (very mildly - I just turn it back on quieter and don’t shout at him!)

But the main thing here is that he hugely overreacted and acted appallingly and like a child having a tantrum. Ick. Does he always behave like this?