Husband raging for turning off music.

That's just word salad. I've got no idea what you're talking about. And people aren't 'privileged' because people in their lives aren't screaming and raging at them.

Losing control because someone turned some music off is unacceptable and I refuse to believe everyone is being screamed at on a regular basis, apart from the privileged few.

No one is making the screaming OP’s fault, but some are pretending the OP is miss perfect.

The OP asked “AIBU?” And all some of are saying is yes you were unreasonable but so was your DH, and he moreso than you.

Oh good I'm glad, I never fancied saint hood. I’m happy with my mundane, normal life where people don’t scream at each other.

Anyway, it seems people will do anything on here to make the whole situation the woman’s fault.
OP, you don’t have to put up with being screamed and raged at. It’s not how normal, decent people behave.

I take that back. Someone who can’t recognise their privileged bubble is not a candidate for sainthood.

I’m just glad I don’t surround myself with the sort of people who scream and rage.

I’m going over the difference between a scream and a shout because both are at the same loud volume:

Screams are loud noises that can either be nonverbal like “Arrrrrrgh” or “EEEEEEE” or contain words “Help!” Or “Fire!” Or “You’re so selfish why did you shut off my music, Id never do that to you,”

Shouts are loud noises that can only contain words. Shouts cannot be nonverbal.

So if a person is doing very loud words- scream/shout is synonymous. Neither is worse than the other and both require the same amount of control- using words.

What do you mean? Whispering contains words. Screaming and shouting are completely different. Screaming means you're completely out of control. You seem to be minimising the OPs situation.

I wouldn’t have turned it off - maybe turned it down. I’d hate it if someone did that to me. I suppose the volume level is subjective. Even radio 4 is loud and overbearing if I’ve had a difficult day in clinic and need headspace whereas when I’m on a cleaning mission I love it loud and would be gutted if it was turned off. I’d always give a warning before turning it down. I know how you will have felt though. It’s stressful sometimes being hit by a wall of noise.

I am sure you will be canonised.

It sounds like the music was only off for a few minutes; can he not just replay whatever song he missed part of, ideally at a lower volume? Unless there's some important context missing, it's a gross overreaction on his part.

Screaming and shouting are the same thing if they both contain words.

I’d be absolutely incandescent of music was blaring as I walked in, or at any other time. Incredibly anti-social. YANBU.

I obviously live on a parallel universe. Some people seem to think that screaming and raging is perfectly acceptable behaviour and we've all done it. That they wouldn't be frightened of a raging screaming man.

I’ve never screamed and raged at anyone, and I have never been raged or screamed at. It’s not normal.

I've never screamed at anyone. I've shouted but never screamed. I'm not imagining anything, she says in the OP that he screamed at her and was raging. Perhaps he screamed quietly so the children couldn't hear.

Gosh, you just keep inventing details to make the bare facts in the OP match your imagined worst case scenario.

Yes, sane people of sound mind do get angry and shout now and then. OP makes no mention of being terrified or her DH hitting walls or doing a flounce and door slam. You might be less enraged if you conscientiously erase the imagined filler you have applied.

Good on you that you have never been angry enough to scream at anyone ever when a final straw breaks. I have been married long enough to have cracked at a straw after a day of rudeness and being sniped at combined with the stress of unruly kids bouncing off the walls and fighting amongst each other. Not my proudest moment, but we are all human and can’t all be perfect.

You wouldn't be terrified if a man was screaming and raging? She said he screamed at her and was raging. Surely the children heard the screaming? We don't know where they were when he was raging, what he did - was he slamming doors? Hitting walls? - we don't know how he was raging.

Does someone of sound mind scream and rage because someone turned off some music? I can imagine being annoyed, as it's an annoying thing to do, but I wouldn't scream at someone or carry on in a rage. Especially if there were children about.

Did I miss how old the children are?

There is no mention of “terrified” or that the children were present in the same room as DH and the music.

Yes, the screaming is important, but so is the whole context of the OP’s actions that led directly to the screaming. OP’s rudeness to her DH does not justify or excuse his screaming at her but it can go a ways towards explaining why it happened.

I think you could've simply said, crikey that's a bit loud, and turned it down to a reasonable level. You didn't need to say 'What's that noise' (erm, it's music that I chose to put on) and then switch it off entirely.
Though he shouldn't have shouted at you. If I was him I'd prob call you a misery guts though.

Is turning off the music really important here? The OP and her children were subjected to a raging, screaming man. No-one deserves to be terrified in their own home for turning off some music.

I hope she's okay and that he eventually calmed down. The OP hasn't been back, let's hope she's safe.

The DH’s wrong of screaming at her does not make her deliberate rude and provocative statement and action right.

Absolutely out of order from the OP, completely justifies being screamed at 🙄

OP did not ask to shut off the music, she disingenously asked “what’s that noise?” When she knew the noise was music and loud children playing.